love, kindness, patience, charity

It was a disappointing Meeting.

First, when I looked around at everyone's faces, I saw no trace of gentle humor. Being Mindful is so important of course, but so is keeping perspective. My hunches of uptight self-righteousness rang true during introductions when a squabble erupted about whether to hold Business Meeting. It was a stupid squabble.

Even more stupid was a squabble about whether Mona's or Lebanon's Cafe is better. When a visitor asked a good place to find vegan food, I suggested Mona's and said there is also Lebanon's two blocks down, but I prefer Mona's. Personal preference, that's all. What happened next would be most appropriate (though still inexcusable) in an all-girl's 8th grade classroom. Two of the members argued about which was better, "proving" it to each other.

I'll go back, hoping that was a fluke and a bad day for all involved rather than a regular occurrence. I have nothing to lose right now, so I may well say something the next time. It was completely inappropriate behavior by anybody professing Quaker beliefs, much less at a Quaker Meeting! And then the one who "lost" the argument about whether to hold business meeting actually subverted it happening during its time by engaging in private conversations.

I was also disturbed by the frequent allusion to people as "Birthright Quakers" or not. Who cares?!

The Meeting is very small, now more than ever. Perhaps there is a leadership vacuum which encourages these types of occurrences. I'll see, and give it another chance or two.

Mama

This evening, I was quietly eating my steamed green beans, my sauteed zucchini, my cheese-jalapeno ciabbata.

The Roommate Maelstrom swept in.

Next thing I knew I was taking another German to the supermarket, helping her break into her bedroom with a credit card, transporting bicycles, threatening sadistic Belorussian roommates.

When I returned, having left The Roommate to put away the groceries, she met me with cries of how there was no electricity in her room. So, I figured out where the fuse box is and finally was able to throw the circuit breaker back.

But the thing is that I TOLD HER days ago NOT to put all these other gadgets on the same outlet as her A/C. I told her to get an extension cord and run it from the other wall. I told her, I told her.

Sigh.

This after yesterday I gave her a lesson on how to flush a toilet. Oh, she knows how - but this one is a little funky. A little jiggle is all, but she couldn't figure it out on her own.

Of course, there is a good side to this I guess. For example, she's very appreciative of my cooking and helps with prep and clean-up. And the other girl is very sweet (she says my German is perfect, without accent) and I don't begrudge helping her at all - she's going through some very rough times through no fault of her own.

I just feel weary. I feel like a mother lion. I feel like Adam Sandler's character in Spanglish when he just wanted to eat his sandwich. I just wanted to finish my green vegetables and move on to some canteloupe with vanilla yogurt. I just wanted quiet and peace and antioxidants.

So, Target Parking Lot boy is meeting me on Monday to build houses, he says. It'll be a hot date - heat index expectation is 110 again.

And The Ex-Fiance might be back in the picture. My heart and head are in too much conflict, so I say nothing. If he will wait until the end of time for me because he's so sure we are meant to be together, then why didn't he call me more often? Tell me things I needed to hear? GET DIVORCED? Too much water under the bridge, but also not enough. I would love to be sharing life here with him and the girls. Hell, if I'm gonna play mama, it may as well be to pre-teen stepdaughters rather than mid-20's Germans.

eat at Texas Roadhouse

Why? Because they support Habitat for Humanity in a huge way - they build houses, get their staff to help, do major fundraising, etc.

Today I was Wrapper Girl. Me and Protecta-Wrap, we are tight. When you peel it back, it's stickiness is a tar-like substance, so I have brown spots all over my hands. It's all good, it'll all eventually come off - but it was a little embarrassing when I went to lunch. At Zimmer's, which Kim recommended - great sandwich, but they were out of bread pudding. It's famous - people come from far and wide for that bread pudding. I can't wait until I actually get some next week.

So, the wrap goes around the windows in a particular pattern. The only real challenge is getting on the damn ladders and going up so high. At one point my ladder slid back and I let out a little shriek and one of the Habitat guys was able to help me. Somebody working inside said she saw me and then I slowly sunk down and she couldn't see me - fortunately she came out to check on me, too. It was a little scary because I didn't have a spotter - I was up 20' on ladders in sand, wrestling with tar. But, I'm happy to report, I'm all good.

I started off the day with a Texas Roadhouse team, but they left about 9:30 (and my partner spent the last hour of that flirting with the National Guard Military Police who patrols the neighborhood in tanks). I'm trying to be patient with people who feel the need to take pictures of everything. I know if you only come for a few days that it's nice to document and all that, but I always want to shout, "Hey! Grab a hammer!"

So then I tried to find another team. Pepe Le Pew's team (OK, I may sound like a real anti-French here, but his accent is JUST like Pepe Le Pew's, except I really can't understand him well, but I'll probably get used to it because we'll be working together extensively on Jazz Leader's house hopefully - once it's actually squared) was overfull (that's where Jazz Leader was, the only person on the whole site today whom I knew) so I wandered around until I found a team where a lot of people weren't standing around. There was a kid sitting on the ground - he's the one on Wednesday who got a super-deep cut when I was in the medical tent with sting-in-eye-boy. So I asked him what was up, and his dad was the supervisor, and this leader was awesome. Such incredible patience - and he has such great kids who really love and respect him. He's one of those people who just exudes love, and being around him is a real gift. So I joined up and all alone I wrapped almost every window (until the Navy folks took my ladders away, trying to clean up).

It's rewarding working on a task like that, and I think Habitat work will continue to get even more rewarding for me the more accustomed to the work I am. Already I can do subflooring without much supervision, and some other tasks as well. The less I have to wait around to ask a leader what to do or if I'm doing it right, the better for everybody - plus, then I can help others more.

But I will never be as great a leader as the ones I've worked with, especially Michigan Leader, Jazz Leader, and today's Patient Leader. Patient Leader today said, as I teetered up to my fifth window, "You have an amazing spirit - how you can take a task and just run with it." When we said good bye, he said, "You're special." "Likewise," was my response. Knowing him only briefly was a gift.

And that's what's so great is that I'm meeting so many people like that through Habitat.

Like the Cincinnati girls last night said, working here with Habitat far exceeded their wildest expectations. For both, it was one of the best experiences of their lives, and they cried to leave (though, one also cried last night on Bourbon Street when one of the police horses bit her HARD - breaking skin and all that).

I am so over Bourbon Street. My ears are still ringing from all the noise. Maybe it's more fun if I'm not driving, so I can drink. Cincinnati Jennifer hopes to come back to work more, and I offered her my couch anytime.

I've always thought of myself as a pretty strong person, but now I have a real reason to increase my strength - to be able to lift 80-pound bags of concrete and huge extension ladders and piles of concrete blocks by myself. Michigan Leader said the guys he used to work with used to say, "If it was easy, they'd have girls do it," ... so I have to prove that wrong for sure.

Habitat 'Ho

Here's why I love Team 'Wood (which is disbanded now, sadly):

-I went late today, lots of stuff to do first. When I walked on-site, I saw Blond North Carolina Boy (he's about 17, he's here this summer staying with his brother who attends my law school) and he filled me in on the team's happenings. When I asked if there were too many people at that house, he said, "There are a lot, but we would love to have you." Now, that's just nice as can be. And I find over and over, that's what Kids These Days are like.

-Cincinnati Girls invited me out tonight, which will be very fun.

-We were on scaffolding to put up siding and the sawhorse broke and Blond North Carolina Boy fell off backwards. He was ok, just some bleeding and scrapes. He got back up and kept on working on. When Preacher Billy walked past, I said, "Hey! BNCB just laid down his life, just like you tell us to do every morning!" Poor Billy was not in best shape, he was tired or something, and he took it seriously and was concerned about injury and liability and all that (we do insanely dangerous things regularly). But later BNCB said slyly, "I liked your joke about the laying down the life. I got it." I don't want to be mean to Preacher Billy; I just get tired of hearing the same sermons over and over.

So, it was a good but short Habitat day. I will go in tomorrow and Monday and part of Wednesday hopefully, but then I'm not able to go in every day, and I will really, really miss it. I will miss learning and I will miss people and I will miss serving meaningfully.

a vent

I've tried everything to post pics here, but to no avail.

Sigh.

It was a very tiring day as a Habitat 'Ho, lots of hard work. We got lots of things done (finished laying all the subflooring), but every muscle hurts. There was lots of heavy lifting and lots of hammering (nail guns are not allowed). It was Kim's last day, which was very sad - now she's returning to Alabama to finish up her RN. We got some good girl time, and I have her in my phone book to call with, "Kim! I'm making red beans and rice! What do I do now!?"

I broke all protocol by engaging in a heated argument with Michigan Leader about politics. I just don't understand how people believe some of the things he said - about how it was our moral obligation to invade Iraq because "they" didn't "keep treaties." About how all Arabs hate all Americans and the only thing that can happen is things will get much worse until we decide to bomb them.

Now, those things were said after I provoked him - not angrily or anything, but probing questions. But finally I understand the obsession with coverage about Lebanon. There's a concept here that Israel and us are against the rest of the world (sometimes Europe, but they're unreliable). How did that happen? I used to be all pro-Israel, loving the underdog and all that, but my views have definitely changed into an uneasy, "I dunnnoooo ..."

Anyway, then I came home to The Roommate and I had very little patience for her judgmentalism and sweeping generalizations - especially when her facts are wrong. When I pointed out that this country is far more diverse than any other and therefore statements about Americans in general will be generally incorrect, she tried to convince me of the "fact" that the US is 80% rural and 20% urban. What? Of course I knew that was incorrect, but she was really uninterested in looking at actual US Census data (she had it reversed - it's nearly the opposite, about 79% urban). Then she tried to explain that our urban definitions are wrong here (?!) and that New Orleans doesn't even really count as urban. What?!

In Germany this frequent arrogance and judgmentalism and all that - I could take it because I was in their country. And the flashes I've seen it of my German friends in America, I could usually take it ok. But I'm already really annoyed with it in her, and I pointed out today that in the US people are much more concerned about manners, something she doesn't understand. She says people here don't argue about politics because they are ignorant, but she is wrong - it's that arguing about politics or religion is considered impolite (and there are other reasons too, of course, but especially here in the South, that's a major one).

I cannot imagine going to another country and constantly bitching about how things are to its residents. That is just poor form. She has a class of international students that she should complain to, not to me.

Now, I need to be fair, she is a nice person and generally means well - there's just a personality thing that bugs me. An inability to see other sides. A black and white world where she is always right, even when things just are and there is no right or wrong. Today she went off on everything wrong with our Constitution, yesterday it was how stupid common law is because we follow case precedent, etc. ... and each time I say, "You like yours because it's what you know. Ours serves us well and it's what I like." The thing is that she doesn't see herself - she was complaining about another German student being clingy, but she is totally clingy - she has to be with me constantly, and while that's ok sometimes, a lot of the time I just want to be alone and not hear her unfounded opinions.

In Germany, people study law for five years - straight from high school. There is no general course of study there for lawyers. And I understand the value of that, and I understand the bitching of students here who have to take all sorts of required courses not in their field of study, but I think it is really valuable to have at least a generalist exposure. I'm very glad I've had the varied life and educational experiences that I have. So when somebody who has not tries to tell me that she is right about things she does not know, I have little patience. And I feel like a mother lion hitting down a disobedient cub which is most definitely NOT what I wanted to experience. I don't want to live in a qualitative study of cross-cultural lack of awareness.

When I argued with Michigan Leader, I still liked him after. I like him a lot - he's a really good guy and we disagree. That's how I like things to be - that we can agree to disagree, or think about each others' points. But today I had to tell The Roommate clearly that I'm offended when she keeps going off on stereotyping Indians. Every day she feels the need to talk about Indians in a way that shows she really doesn't understand manners (she insists they are devious and lie, rather than seeing issues of saving face and keeping peace) - and I find it offensive because it's simply untrue of the Indians I know, and it's racist. She prefaces her comments with, "I may be stereotyping up to my neck, but ..." and today I said, "Yes, you are. I find no difference between you saying these things and The Landlord going off on "low-income African-Americans" that he discriminates against. It troubles me." And I realize that she has not studied these things as I have, but that's not my fault.

And the thing is that I know I was the same way in my 20's (though never racist, I hope), and I can still get that imperious tone. It's fine to work through that - but I didn't expect it in somebody nearly 30, and it wasn't clear in our communications. I don't see this in my other friends who are younger though - I think of Lalo, Jenny, Gail, Shelton, and others. It's nice to have a drinking buddy handy, and we get along swimmingly when we're drunk. But I don't want to be drunk all the time. And she really doesn't get the point of seeing other points of view. Today she got really agitated when I said one person voting makes no difference, and she went off on how I shouldn't study law if I think I can't make a positive change.

Me make a positive change? Hm. OK. She has gone to college and studied her entire adult life and never volunteered or done anything except live off the German state. I've done more positive change in the past week than she has in her entire life. But that doesn't matter, what raised my hackles was the concept that there's only one reason to do anything. "Look, I'm an adult. I know well the limitations of law. There are no scales to fall from my eyes. I'm not an idealist, and that's a good thing." But the point is really that I was pointing out how others see things - I know many people who are really, really different than me, and sometimes I understand them pretty well. I vote religiously, and I agitate my friends to do the same, but if somebody doesn't then I don't point at them and scream that they are an evil person.

This is tedious and repetitive, and I frequently just don't listen to her. But I also think she needs to be told when she's out of line - because she won't learn any other way.

On another note, Target Parking Lot Boy has been calling me frequently. Yes, I gave him my nunber. Don't ask me why. Maybe because I thought it would be interesting to chill with somebody not self-righteous.

So here's my brilliant idea. Our first "date" will be a Habitat day. He doesn't know it yet, he just knows I agreed to see him on Monday.

And yeah, he's annoying too already. Looks like the only people who don't annoy me are Team 'Wood. But by the end of the day, I'm just too worn out to be civil to others. We have a group of Cincinnati people - involved with an organization there called Give Back, Cincinnati. I like them a lot - they are fun and work hard and genuinely care. Today we were a team of just 10, and we accomplished more than we did as 25 yesterday. We were in the zone - and I think we were all feeling it at the end of the day, especially as the sun started to beat down really mercilessly. I come home and can barely move. Then The Roommate comes in and says, "YOU are tired?! I'm the one who's tired! I've been sitting in lectures for the past 5 hours!" Um, yeah. Hard manual labor for 7 hours or sitting on my ass for 5.

I'm going to invite Michigan Leader and his wife over to dinner, and I'll just let him and The Roommate go at it. The problem is that he is a sweet guy who will not attack, and she will mistake that for ignorance. I really want to invite him over to meet with Tami and Ahmed - I think that would be a great experience.

I need to start figuring out menus for all these people I want to invite over for dinner, and then I need to get more chairs, and then I need to just do it. The problem I have with menus is the people who love meat, who are vegan, who are vegetarian, who are allergic - it's all a crazy mix. Tami's mom doesn't eat meat but loves cheese, and her dad doesn't eat cheese but loves meat, and Tami doesn't eat either. How do I make completely vegan meals that satisfy everybody and are extremely tasty?

Anyway, I'll be happy when Tami and Ahmed are back. We probably won't see each other much since they live far away, but it's still nice to know they're in the vicinity.

potholes

Today I went off-site to another place where we were clearing land to build. Actually the blocks had been mortared and the floor joists laid, so it was a step ahead.

However, it was a jungle, so we spent quite some time pulling and hacking weeds before starting in on finishing spacers and then the subflooring.

But I get ahead of myself. The ride there was in a bright pink bus with a Gulf Coast Casino's name on the side. The windshields were cracked, no A/C - no problem, we're tough.

But then we hit a pothole the size of Detroit and the right side of the windshield started to actually remove from its space. Michigan Leader had duct tape, which always works wonders.

Returning to the site after lunch, we reached the pothole and there was a white car stuck in it. Keith pulled over and we jumped out without question. We were going to lift that damn car if we had to, dammit! The people riding in the pickup which had stopped behind the car said we looked like slow-motion action heroes, walking out the bus toward the car. We actually didn't have to pull it out, though we were all in position, because a tow-truck driver pulled up, pulled it out, and drove away without even a handshake thanks.

Which is what it's all about.

I just got this group e-mail from one of the folks last week:
"Hello! It was a pleasure to have met you all. While I truly enjoyed the building aspect of the week, there is something very powerful about being surrounded by such kind, generous individuals. It really affected me in a way that I hadn't predicted...so thank you!"

*That* is why I show up each day. Preacher Billy each day starts us off with too much prayer, but some of his preaching isn't bullshit - this, what we do, it's about loving people. Putting nails back in the right bin, refilling the water jug and helping carry it, holding a board, letting somebody else cut, never complaining and being kind and patient, all that and overall building the house - it's all about loving people.

We had a busload full of folks here for a convention, here for just one day. One of them got stung on his eye. Anything around the eye freaks me out, so despite his protestations that he was fine with the pain, I bustled him right back to the main site and made him sit in the medical tent. The "medic" didn't know anything about stings, so I walked over to where my friend Kim was working and asked for her help - she's from the area, and a mom, and a nurse. And she was awesome, and he is fine.

I spent a lot of time riding in the truck today, back and forth from site to site, hauling wounded Kansans and more boards, but I'm still tired. Good tired.

Last night I went out with The Roommate and we got completely and totally drunk (as Michele well knows). Then I got four phone calls after 12:00 pm, when I finally got to sleep. Despite all that, I'm fine today. Now I'm off to make me a yummy African stew and curl up to finish Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. It's a good day.

Oh, and I found that the Quaker meeting is actually only two blocks from my house! What are the chances of that??

Team 'Wood

I went back to the volunteering today, which was much fun. Most of Team 'Wood was there (we're donating our volunteer hours to our friend whose nickname is Wood) and he took us out to lunch and I FINALLY got my red beans & rice. We are totally rocking on the house - it went from last week of putting up blocks and then filling in the foundation and finally the flooring and then the walls - now we're actually putting up roof trusses and tomorrow we are actually roofing and putting on the patio. The guy who is getting the house was there today working, so that was fun. He's a jazz saxophonist and seems to be a nice guy.

I took an afternoon break and stopped by Jazz Leader's house when I saw he was home, and I'm glad I did because he was a little down about student teaching - and if there's anything I know about, it's that. And everybody was so happy there to see me, his sons jumping up to throw their arms around me. They are all so welcoming. [And it makes it difficult for me to have much patience of the people who bitch and moan about little stupid things when people who have lost everything can be so kind and generous. I'm becoming a no-complaint zone.]

When I looked in the mirror at the lunchtime restaurant, I thought, "Oh my soul, how are these people willing to be seen with me in public?" Let's just say, that when I felt chafing under my arms and worried about sunburn or a rough sleeve - nope, it was a bunch of dirt! Yuck! No holds barred when I'm building!

So, I went to Target and when I was leaving I noticed this guy walking near me, and when I got to my truck I got a whole pick-up routine. I was like, "Dude, I look completely filthy from building houses all day, and you keep calling me pretty and want my phone number?!" Then I went to the grocery store and some guy chatted me up in the produce department, and on the drive home all sorts of people were smiling and waving at me.

WTF?! So, apparently the tired dirty construction look suits me. Almost makes me not want to shower.

Almost.

Night two in The Apartment

Air conditioners? Loud.

Cockroaches? Only seen one, and The Roommate crushed it dead and I disposed of it. Ah, division of labor.

Internet? Um, I'm getting some wireless signal - don't know where from or anything, but hopefully it's ok that I'm tagging on. The city says this area and many others will have free internet access by September 1 anyway.

Unpacking? Sucks. I really want to paint my bedroom, but needed to wait until I had light to see better - and now there's a piece of glass there (yeah, I'll get a real window soon) but I had to start unpacking simultaneously so there's crap everywhere. Sigh. I still don't know what color.

Building? I blew off Habitat today because they weren't expecting me, and I have plenty to do. Plus, I'm going over at 3:00 to help Jazz Leader.

Mimosas? Two dollar Sundays at Fiesta Bistro down the way, but their alcohol is all we're going back for - their food, not so great and overpriced.

Eating out? Expensive and time to cut it out, now that I have a place to live. Despite the disappointment of Fiesta Bistro yesterday, we did still manage to find a really cool cafe (in an old bank) and there was the joy of Waffle House. I'm a forward girl, I realized yesterday at WH. We sat down at the bar and I turned to the total stranger next to me and asked to look at the ads in her Sunday paper.

Milk? Way gross, thanks a lot to Tami's lectures. I'm an odd duck, drinking soy milk and eating turkey sausage.

Furniture? Well, we're mostly furnished now, thanks to a harrowing drive with The Couch yesterday from Tami's. Huge-ass thing, but it fit through the doorway here and didn't get rained on. I'm still proud of the table I scored, and look forward to dinner parties, though I need more chairs.

Today? Finish unpacking, feel like I'm situated, harangue landlord for evidence I live here so I can go get my driver's license, hook up printer and do some reading for my orientation next week, then go run some power tools (ar ar AR!) and try to appear helpful.

washing dishes in a FEMA trailer

It's been busy days. I'm sitting in Slidell's CC's for what may be the last time, and it makes me a little sad.

Our house has walls! We went from foundation up to there in a week! We were actually really fortunate about getting to put up walls - both of our leaders have never done it before, but because the Habitat powers that be saw what a good group we were, we got to do interesting things, and I was Blueprint Girl. My companeros seemed to think me quite knowledgeable about things so I got nominated for all sorts of interesting tasks. It was fun to see people learning to do new things - like use a circular saw for the first time (a Skilsaw here, like a reciprocating saw is a Sawsaw).

Yesterday when four of us "middle-aged ladies" (what one of the young guys called the others when I was sitting with the young guys) were carrying heavy wood frames across a mud field, Michigan Leader came over with his cigarillo and said, "You core people have done all the hard work to get this far, and then new people come in and you let them do the glamorous stuff (nailing up walls and nailing on sheeting) while you're out here doing the grunt work without complaint. You are really good people." We had never thought of complaining - we were just happy to be working. That's the kind of week I had, and it was good.

Then after work each day I'd drive over to the new apartment and drive The Roommate around town (after a shower in her dorm room, since our bathtub was inoperable). About 4:30 I would start to fade hard, but food always helps. I was able to keep the grumpy factor pretty minimal.

One day I stayed and helped Jazz Leader with his house - he's just now working on foundational things. He's good people and I'll be over there helping as much as my schedule allows - and as much as I'm actually help to him. While I don't know how to do a lot of things, I'm really good at measuring, we've discovered, and when I'm in charge of the tape measure everything lines up perfectly. We had a little conflict one day when I stubbornly insisted that he SHOW me how to do something instead of just telling me and trusting me, but we're good.

So I was over there helping and Jazz Leader had to go get some more things from Home Depot with Pepe Le Pew (a Parisian guy helping out), and Brazilian Banker and Marathon Teacher didn't much need my help (BB doesn't communicate well and MT was frustrated - they've been friends for years, building Habitat houses together - but I didn't need in on that) so I went into the FEMA trailer to chill with Wife of Jazz Leader. (I call her this because that's how she identifies herself - "he's the man, and I will follow his decisions," she has said - and she attends all his events and sees her role as support.) She's cool, and their two boys (her stepchildren) are sweet and polite and energetic. Earlier I was sitting on the porch of an abandoned house across the street with the boys while Marathon Teacher blew out all their gender misconceptions with some football practice (they said, "She be falling over when he throw hard," which became, "Dang! She can sure catch and Dang! Watch her throw! She real good!"), and a few people drove past rubbernecking, wondering about this white woman sitting there. Happy to subvert any dominant paradigm. I do like the neighborhood, and Jazz Leader gave me the grand tour and I met cool people.

Somehow while sitting in the FEMA trailer, through my wiles and charms, Wife of Jazz Leader made a yummy African stew for me. It fueled me so well, and I was like Popeye with a can of spinach. I love greens, and she does 'em right. I went back out and drilled some holes, and when we finished the day's tasks I told her to come see - and then I stayed in the trailer and washed the dishes.

What a symbol of how at home I felt with them all. And trust me y'all, those FEMA trailers are TINY.

Mississippi's slogan is "It's like coming home." This whole region, that's what it feels like. People talk to me like I'm their long-lost cousin. They feed me grits and stew, and they tell me their evacuation stories and about their faith. They're happy to see me. Their welcome is genuine.

And in turn, I can be a little more patient and a little kinder. Our apartment is now habitable because the carpenter stayed until 8:30 pm finishing up things despite refusing to ever work with our landlord again. He did it for us because I was nice to his granddaughter and treated him with respect. Who doesn't want to be treated that way?

So today I guess I'm moving. Tomorrow I'll go help Jazz Leader on his house along with Dewrag Americorps Volunteer. Yesterday when DAV had draped himself across me, I had to wonder why very good-looking 20-year-olds waited to hug and love on me until now, when I'm old enough to be their mother. Ah, maybe that's exactly why. DAV is one of those fun, positive people that makes me happier to be around, so tomorrow should be fun. And I do have a thing for floor joists now.

Last night we went to Cafe du Monde and walked down Bourbon Street. It wasn't comfortable - there were far too many tourists - until we reached Canal and there was a group of kids playing some Dixieland and locals dancing around. I wanted to dance around too, but it was so late and I had an hour-long drive ahead of me. Some man leaned into me and said something with a smile, but I couldn't hear what it was. But I keep coming back to thinking about it because it was a "rich point" (from qualitative research) - like doing dishes in the FEMA trailer. The way he leaned into me, it was like he knew me. In most places I go people treat me well and openly - I've had to adapt to so many new places that getting people to feel comfortable with me is a valuable skill. But there's something different about it here ... I'll have to think about it to figure it out.

16 on-center, babe

Cake decorator boy stayed far away from me today. It was all good, and I didn't have to apologize for doing everything better than him.

We had another leader today, with the same name as leader yesterday. It actually is easy when they're both there - just call out the name and one of them is bound to respond. They are both so patient and helpful and encouraging, and I am with a really nice group of volunteers, so it's quite a joy to work with. I'm learning lots, working hard, and my pores are cleansed from the excessive sweating. (Though I did note that there's a yoga studio only five blocks from my place that has Bikram yoga!)

"Are all the men in New Orleans hot?" I asked Kim (who evacuated from Katrina and is now finishing up RN training in Atlanta, and who grew up in the rough part of the neighborhood where I live). I had looked up to see jazz leader (the one who came today, who is a musician) talking to a neighborhood Rasta man. She agrees. I sort of said it too in order to gauge how black women here are about white women hitting on and hooking up with black men (though Jazz Leader is married). I didn't get a full answer, but if I keep charming her she'll be introducing me to her brothers and cousins in no time.

Today we laid floor joists which involved a lot of measuring and a lot of "babe." They say it funny here, the second 'b' is almost silent but it's still a full stop. I can't say it right, though I'm getting accustomed to being called it. I would think Jazz Leader doesn't know my name, except he always says it before saying the babe or sweetie or honey, which was a lot because I was his right-hand today (and not just because he's hot). Michigan Leader is, well, from Michigan, so he never calls me babe. Sometimes young waitresses get confused and switch between ma'am and babe. Somehow it's endearing, and it won't be long before I pick it up myself probably. I'm already doing more drawl than I should. It's just too hard to resist.

Just took Tami to the airport; she's off for two weeks to meet up with her son and husband in Jordan.

When I called Landlord Man today he was curt with me, citing his 500 things to take care of. That's all good and well, but it doesn't change that I need him to move the garbage from the front of the house and to install the washer and dryer.

So how do I know I'm turning Southern, in addition to the grits this morning? Because I'm killing with kindness. No blood pressure rising, just a kind reminder until it's done. He can go off if he needs, because he's not Southern (Bangladeshi, though he's lived here 30 years), but I will smile and thank him for taking care of things. Yeah, I watched some of The Closer at Michele's house and at Susan's house. (Somebody just asked me to watch their laptop here for a few minutes ... so I really look that trustworthy? Or maybe she's a terrorist and it's a bomb -well, that would take care of the garbage and appliances!)

OK, off to meet the carpenter and then to pick up The German Roommate from the airport and then drive clear back to Slidell to sleep in order to get up at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow to start it all over again. Hopefully I'll be able to move in soon - I'm tired of filling up my gas tank every three days.