First, I have to say this is the first place I've lived that has "turkey necks" as a side dish.
But mostly that's not the point.
A University of New Orleans student was recently found dead in his dorm room because his decomposing body stunk so much after a week that neighbors called to complain. He was 42. While decomposition made ID and cause of death difficult to determine, his neck bones had been crushed, indicating strangulation. His wallet, car, and other items of value were missing.
Tonight K drove me home, and that was in the back of my mind. If I were strangled, who would know? Well, K would realize I'm not in class because I see her every day, and now she knows where to come drive to in order to see what's up, or to call the police. My Civ Pro prof (who tonight told me I have "climate issues") would notice my disappearance, and so would some of my classmates, but none of them know where I live. But now K does, so we call rest assured that my body will not decompose to the point of needing dental records to ID.
Monday, November 06, 2006
vernal equinox
March 21. I've set a wedding day. Just have to get the groom to agree. And if he's not here by then, I'll fly to Liberia (it's my spring break) and we'll get married there (in theory - heavens knows the bureaucratic headaches there).
a good sign
When you email the US visa services with a question, you get an email back that they won't respond because they're too busy (why they don't put that on the website, I don't understand). Same with Ghana embassy.
But, I started to have a little mini-panic attack when I looked at the Liberia embassy website and it said that the type of visas they grant is very limited (they were closed until rather recently).
So, I emailed them.
AND THEY EMAILED ME BACK! "We can interview K-1 applicants as long as we have an approved petition from USCIS."
That just made my day. They have the personnel to respond to email; hopefully they have the personnel to expedite Dayton's visa! I also want to hurry through while the country's stable ... I mean, I really hope that it stays stable and gets even stronger ... but I really don't want him and the girls there if violence breaks out again and the embassy folks are helicoptered out.
I also looked up numbers on fiance visas - they're not a common visa, which is why the immigration officer I talked to AND the immigration lawyer haven't seen many. I found the timeline with some pretty graphs this weekend, but can't find it again to post it now. I think it said the Texas Service Center's visa process is usually 99 days - but now I just read 6-9 months. And, hopefully we're on the short end because he's not somebody I paid an agency for (think Russian mail order bride).
Sigh.
But, I started to have a little mini-panic attack when I looked at the Liberia embassy website and it said that the type of visas they grant is very limited (they were closed until rather recently).
So, I emailed them.
AND THEY EMAILED ME BACK! "We can interview K-1 applicants as long as we have an approved petition from USCIS."
That just made my day. They have the personnel to respond to email; hopefully they have the personnel to expedite Dayton's visa! I also want to hurry through while the country's stable ... I mean, I really hope that it stays stable and gets even stronger ... but I really don't want him and the girls there if violence breaks out again and the embassy folks are helicoptered out.
I also looked up numbers on fiance visas - they're not a common visa, which is why the immigration officer I talked to AND the immigration lawyer haven't seen many. I found the timeline with some pretty graphs this weekend, but can't find it again to post it now. I think it said the Texas Service Center's visa process is usually 99 days - but now I just read 6-9 months. And, hopefully we're on the short end because he's not somebody I paid an agency for (think Russian mail order bride).
Sigh.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
What are Places that Begin with N
Ahmed is off to Nak-a-Tish for 13 weeks. Woo hoo! I mean, not woo-hoo that he's away from his family for 13 weeks, but woo-hoo that he's got a job for awhile and that's it's only a few hours away so they get to see each other at least every week.
It made me think of Nenana Ice Classic. Fun times. We Alaskans, we like to do things like bet on when a river's ice will go out, dropping the tripod into the river below. We're a peculiar breed, I admit.
And this is way weird - and is guaranteed to make you itch. Especially the end. Don't watch it, Tami!
It made me think of Nenana Ice Classic. Fun times. We Alaskans, we like to do things like bet on when a river's ice will go out, dropping the tripod into the river below. We're a peculiar breed, I admit.
And this is way weird - and is guaranteed to make you itch. Especially the end. Don't watch it, Tami!
tofu
I finally got tofu JUST RIGHT. Woo hoo. I like it firm and chewy but not greasy.
So, I got extra firm tofu, pressed the water out, sliced in 1/2" slices (or thinner) then sprayed a large skillet lightly with cooking spray and fried it up, probably 5 minutes on each side until brown. Excellent! Then I baked it in a cacciatore sauce (I was going to make from scratch, but found a local one in a jar that I tried - it was ok) and ate it up with brown rice. Yum. I really was craving some of the tofu Lara used to make - with brewers' yeast & soy sauce ... but I need to find some brewers' yeast.
I need three more days to get everything done that I need to, but of course as I look at my schedule, there's no free time for days to come. Sigh. I got about three hours tonight and then I'm officially screwed. And I skipped the gym all weekend and didn't make it to the grocery store - so I'm eating crap and feeling undermotivated and oh-so-behind.
My biggest quandary now is do I take civil law classes (practiced only in Louisiana and the most of the rest of the world) or common law classes (practiced in the U.S., England, Liberia, a few other places). I want to get a job here in New Orleans this summer, so I toy with civil law, and then I'll catch up with the common law classes later. It's just cool to be different, which law schools in Louisiana are - I get to choose civil law here and can't anywhere else. Seems like I should take advantage, even if it really means twice the work.
Speaking of which, back to work now.
Oh, and I probably won't get to see Dayton in December. Damn his pragmatism. He was like, "Look, you told me to go back to Liberia then, so I am - but I don't know the exact date - as soon as we can when Cece's out of school. And why not take things one step at a time - let's get me there with you. Because if you fly all the way to see me in Ghana or Liberia, you get to see me, what, two days? Why don't we save that money for when you see me every day and every night."
So, he would choke if he knew that phone conversation was costing $30. It's just SO HARD to get through, so using a phone card never works anymore - so I'm paying $1.50/minute, which is BRUTAL.
I got to talk to our friend Fred yesterday (phones are working in Liberia but not Ghana!?), and he had just flown last week to Senegal and it cost about $480. Which is what I found on-line, but Fred's awesome with deals so thought he might have an inside scoop. There is no inside scoop. Which means from Senegal to Ghana is more like $600.
Now, we all know that I've done booty call for twice that cost for a weekend. But I was gainfully employed then.
He's right. I protested and said we'd talk about it later, and he was probably agreeable because he knew I'd agree if I thought about it. Dammit. I didn't *really* want to go back to Ghana anyway - I mean, I'm over the romantic allure of public latrines and sweltering heat with no ventilation. But I *did* want to take Christmas presents to him and Cece ... and I really wanted to see him. Sigh. Now it's waiting FOREVER.
I guess, worst case scenario, if there's no progress on his visa by my spring break I'll go over there then. Of course to Liberia will cost me over $2K, and I'd rather he be here.
But first, we have to find a functioning fax machine in Ghana. Easier said than done. ARGH!
So, I got extra firm tofu, pressed the water out, sliced in 1/2" slices (or thinner) then sprayed a large skillet lightly with cooking spray and fried it up, probably 5 minutes on each side until brown. Excellent! Then I baked it in a cacciatore sauce (I was going to make from scratch, but found a local one in a jar that I tried - it was ok) and ate it up with brown rice. Yum. I really was craving some of the tofu Lara used to make - with brewers' yeast & soy sauce ... but I need to find some brewers' yeast.
I need three more days to get everything done that I need to, but of course as I look at my schedule, there's no free time for days to come. Sigh. I got about three hours tonight and then I'm officially screwed. And I skipped the gym all weekend and didn't make it to the grocery store - so I'm eating crap and feeling undermotivated and oh-so-behind.
My biggest quandary now is do I take civil law classes (practiced only in Louisiana and the most of the rest of the world) or common law classes (practiced in the U.S., England, Liberia, a few other places). I want to get a job here in New Orleans this summer, so I toy with civil law, and then I'll catch up with the common law classes later. It's just cool to be different, which law schools in Louisiana are - I get to choose civil law here and can't anywhere else. Seems like I should take advantage, even if it really means twice the work.
Speaking of which, back to work now.
Oh, and I probably won't get to see Dayton in December. Damn his pragmatism. He was like, "Look, you told me to go back to Liberia then, so I am - but I don't know the exact date - as soon as we can when Cece's out of school. And why not take things one step at a time - let's get me there with you. Because if you fly all the way to see me in Ghana or Liberia, you get to see me, what, two days? Why don't we save that money for when you see me every day and every night."
So, he would choke if he knew that phone conversation was costing $30. It's just SO HARD to get through, so using a phone card never works anymore - so I'm paying $1.50/minute, which is BRUTAL.
I got to talk to our friend Fred yesterday (phones are working in Liberia but not Ghana!?), and he had just flown last week to Senegal and it cost about $480. Which is what I found on-line, but Fred's awesome with deals so thought he might have an inside scoop. There is no inside scoop. Which means from Senegal to Ghana is more like $600.
Now, we all know that I've done booty call for twice that cost for a weekend. But I was gainfully employed then.
He's right. I protested and said we'd talk about it later, and he was probably agreeable because he knew I'd agree if I thought about it. Dammit. I didn't *really* want to go back to Ghana anyway - I mean, I'm over the romantic allure of public latrines and sweltering heat with no ventilation. But I *did* want to take Christmas presents to him and Cece ... and I really wanted to see him. Sigh. Now it's waiting FOREVER.
I guess, worst case scenario, if there's no progress on his visa by my spring break I'll go over there then. Of course to Liberia will cost me over $2K, and I'd rather he be here.
But first, we have to find a functioning fax machine in Ghana. Easier said than done. ARGH!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
diapers
I went to KMart today, and when I was looking at the furniture (yeah, I'm all about quality), there was a cart in front of a cupboard I wanted to look at. I started to move it, then jumped back as if shocked. Inside was the cutest little baby ever, sound asleep.
I looked around, wondering to whom this angel belonged (they're all angels when they're asleep), and saw a woman across the way. I said loudly, "I'm going to move your cart just a little bit." She didn't even notice I was standing there with my hands on the cart holding her child.
Now, he was cute. I don't mean just a little, he was CUTE. Adorable. And at only two months, he wasn't really imprinted to her, so if I just walked away with him he'd never even know that I wasn't his mother. His skin tone is about what I expect if Dayton and I have a child.
And then I remembered about the "little yellow tinkles" (I think that's what Tiff called them on her blog), and I'm pretty sure it was a boy, so I just looked at the furniture.
OK, so I didn't really think all those things. Besides, KMart would be the cheapest place to buy diapers and formula, besides that UNNAMED PLACE, and I couldn't exactly steal the kid and then go back in for supplies. And honestly, I like 'em better after they're potty trained.
I looked around, wondering to whom this angel belonged (they're all angels when they're asleep), and saw a woman across the way. I said loudly, "I'm going to move your cart just a little bit." She didn't even notice I was standing there with my hands on the cart holding her child.
Now, he was cute. I don't mean just a little, he was CUTE. Adorable. And at only two months, he wasn't really imprinted to her, so if I just walked away with him he'd never even know that I wasn't his mother. His skin tone is about what I expect if Dayton and I have a child.
And then I remembered about the "little yellow tinkles" (I think that's what Tiff called them on her blog), and I'm pretty sure it was a boy, so I just looked at the furniture.
OK, so I didn't really think all those things. Besides, KMart would be the cheapest place to buy diapers and formula, besides that UNNAMED PLACE, and I couldn't exactly steal the kid and then go back in for supplies. And honestly, I like 'em better after they're potty trained.
no veil
Well, Gail, we WERE going to get married in Louisiana, but last week the Torts prof mentioned that Louisiana is one of the few states left whose marriage laws include crap about husband's dominion over wife and all that (he's a real enlightened guy, so we were joking about it). So we might have to fly to Vegas for a weekend or something and get married there - someplace that doesn't consider me to be chattel, but maybe an actual adult in a relationship of equals. I know that's a crazy notion.
I'm trying to fax the forms to Dayton today, but he was just at a wedding and now he's trying to get the correct fax number there before the UPS store near here closes today. ARGH! Otherwise, I'll try on Monday in that 1/2 hour break I have all day long.
Next will be for him to check forms, then I fax him official ones and he'll sign them and mail them, with some other documents, to me. Then I double check all my forms and combine with his (I think I'll Virg-ify it - I'll put it in a binder with colored tabs for each section), and check my list twice, and mail the forms off to Mesquite Texas.
Now, that sounds a little ominous - the name of that place. BUT, Mesquite trees are in the family of my favorite trees (acacia), so it seems to bode well.
Then we wait. And wait. I have a good feeling about February-March. Then they send notice and he has to go to the embassy and get information and then get a huge packet of crap together - medical forms, police certificates, passport, birth certificate, etc. etc. He gets it all together and then makes an appointment for an interview where he proclaims undying love for me and his absence of intention to be a criminal in this country. Then, hopefully, the visa is quick from there (I've heard even next day can happen). Then we make plane reservations and he comes here. yay! Then we get married right away (Justice of the Peace, I'm thinking) and we apply for a change in his status so he can apply for green card and a temporary work permit (throughout this time he learns to drive and acculturates), then he gets a job; and everything's running on MY timeframe, we get the girls here during the summer to start school at the beginning of the year. After two years, we apply for another change in status, and hopefully the green card comes soon after that. After five years, he can apply to be a permanent resident or think about if he wants to be a citizen.
Overwhelming? Just a little.
I'm trying to fax the forms to Dayton today, but he was just at a wedding and now he's trying to get the correct fax number there before the UPS store near here closes today. ARGH! Otherwise, I'll try on Monday in that 1/2 hour break I have all day long.
Next will be for him to check forms, then I fax him official ones and he'll sign them and mail them, with some other documents, to me. Then I double check all my forms and combine with his (I think I'll Virg-ify it - I'll put it in a binder with colored tabs for each section), and check my list twice, and mail the forms off to Mesquite Texas.
Now, that sounds a little ominous - the name of that place. BUT, Mesquite trees are in the family of my favorite trees (acacia), so it seems to bode well.
Then we wait. And wait. I have a good feeling about February-March. Then they send notice and he has to go to the embassy and get information and then get a huge packet of crap together - medical forms, police certificates, passport, birth certificate, etc. etc. He gets it all together and then makes an appointment for an interview where he proclaims undying love for me and his absence of intention to be a criminal in this country. Then, hopefully, the visa is quick from there (I've heard even next day can happen). Then we make plane reservations and he comes here. yay! Then we get married right away (Justice of the Peace, I'm thinking) and we apply for a change in his status so he can apply for green card and a temporary work permit (throughout this time he learns to drive and acculturates), then he gets a job; and everything's running on MY timeframe, we get the girls here during the summer to start school at the beginning of the year. After two years, we apply for another change in status, and hopefully the green card comes soon after that. After five years, he can apply to be a permanent resident or think about if he wants to be a citizen.
Overwhelming? Just a little.
Friday, November 03, 2006
white boys and clean floors
When I asked the coordinator of the Civil Rights testing what kind of people she needed, she said it's hardest to get white men to participate (imagine that - they don't want to do things that might expose the privileges they have). I said, "Gee, I'm sorry, I don't really know any white men."
But I do; some of my classmates are possibly cool. North Carolina Boy is the one I approached, and he said he's definitely down with that.
But it did make me take note - I really don't know many white boys (and he and I got chummy because we're in Spanish together and he was Puerto Rico for a year). The people I talk to most at school, they're the few minorities. Of the people I know and like and choose to sit near, there's Puerto Rican, Indian, Mexican, African American, Korean. And a blind woman, who is white. When I filled out my application to be a tester, they asked if I'd ever owned a rental, and I thought back - yeah, the only renters I ever had, one was Mexican and one was Nicaraguan; of the two, one was lesbian. I think I got my civil rights violations to a minimum here. If Pam had walked with a limp and Nancy had gotten knocked up, I'd have about all the protected categories covered.
My point? Just that I don't get the segregation. It's boring.
And I finally cleaned my floors well. Maybe your mother told you to always wear clean underwear in case you were in a car crash and taken to the hospital. It's the same with clean floors. Yesterday Tami and Ahmed stopped by and we went to Pyramids - I wanted her to see where I live. It was great to see them! Anyway, it was embarrassing to have such dirty floors. And then today K offered to drive me home and my first thought was, "I don't want her to see my dirty floors."
Well, they're clean now. And I finally laid out the rug and hung the Alaskan mask, so I'm finally, six weeks later, moved in.
And it's LOOOONG past my bedtime and I'm hours behind on work.
I'm putting the finishing touches on the first of the paperwork for Dayton, and hopefully I'll fax it to him tomorrow.
OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO GET MARRIED! OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO LIVE WITH A BOY!! (Think Friends episode here.)
But I do; some of my classmates are possibly cool. North Carolina Boy is the one I approached, and he said he's definitely down with that.
But it did make me take note - I really don't know many white boys (and he and I got chummy because we're in Spanish together and he was Puerto Rico for a year). The people I talk to most at school, they're the few minorities. Of the people I know and like and choose to sit near, there's Puerto Rican, Indian, Mexican, African American, Korean. And a blind woman, who is white. When I filled out my application to be a tester, they asked if I'd ever owned a rental, and I thought back - yeah, the only renters I ever had, one was Mexican and one was Nicaraguan; of the two, one was lesbian. I think I got my civil rights violations to a minimum here. If Pam had walked with a limp and Nancy had gotten knocked up, I'd have about all the protected categories covered.
My point? Just that I don't get the segregation. It's boring.
And I finally cleaned my floors well. Maybe your mother told you to always wear clean underwear in case you were in a car crash and taken to the hospital. It's the same with clean floors. Yesterday Tami and Ahmed stopped by and we went to Pyramids - I wanted her to see where I live. It was great to see them! Anyway, it was embarrassing to have such dirty floors. And then today K offered to drive me home and my first thought was, "I don't want her to see my dirty floors."
Well, they're clean now. And I finally laid out the rug and hung the Alaskan mask, so I'm finally, six weeks later, moved in.
And it's LOOOONG past my bedtime and I'm hours behind on work.
I'm putting the finishing touches on the first of the paperwork for Dayton, and hopefully I'll fax it to him tomorrow.
OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO GET MARRIED! OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO LIVE WITH A BOY!! (Think Friends episode here.)
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Why I will never have boys
From my friends Tiffany and Rick's blog. They are amazingly adventurous, building yurts in the wilderness with two young boys (are they 6 now??).
first day tutoring
First day tutoring ... I know where I do NOT want to send CeCe and Daytricia. Fine for other people's kids, but I would have no tolerance for a science teacher who has them copy things from the book instead of any actual learning (yeah, I know it's done occasionally by even the best teachers - but I saw it in several classes and it seems to be a regularly occurring thing).
I got an 8th grade boy with extremely low skills (he could not add 80 + 20) and no schema about the world (couldn't tell me which direction is south or where his ancestors come from) and a 7th grade girl who is going to love reading. I couldn't get her to stop and put the damn book away - that's what I like to see.
Weirdest thing? I stepped into the science room to get another book and as I left I heard the teacher (a very fine man, I must say), exclaiming, "You can't flirt with her! She's a grown-up! She's a college student!" OK, I'm sure I'm older than all their parents, and that's just gross.
It'll be fun I think, though I'm not sure I really agree with the mission (pulling kids out of classes to read with college students - it could work, but I'm not fully on-board). It's just always good for me to be in touch with kids, reading their books and hearing what interests them.
I'm down to three jobs - just dropped a tutoring because I had a bad feeling about him being flaky. And now I'm frantically finishing up a memo assignment. I think I'm better with the legal writing now - but still miles to go.
I got an 8th grade boy with extremely low skills (he could not add 80 + 20) and no schema about the world (couldn't tell me which direction is south or where his ancestors come from) and a 7th grade girl who is going to love reading. I couldn't get her to stop and put the damn book away - that's what I like to see.
Weirdest thing? I stepped into the science room to get another book and as I left I heard the teacher (a very fine man, I must say), exclaiming, "You can't flirt with her! She's a grown-up! She's a college student!" OK, I'm sure I'm older than all their parents, and that's just gross.
It'll be fun I think, though I'm not sure I really agree with the mission (pulling kids out of classes to read with college students - it could work, but I'm not fully on-board). It's just always good for me to be in touch with kids, reading their books and hearing what interests them.
I'm down to three jobs - just dropped a tutoring because I had a bad feeling about him being flaky. And now I'm frantically finishing up a memo assignment. I think I'm better with the legal writing now - but still miles to go.
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