Mama

This evening, I was quietly eating my steamed green beans, my sauteed zucchini, my cheese-jalapeno ciabbata.

The Roommate Maelstrom swept in.

Next thing I knew I was taking another German to the supermarket, helping her break into her bedroom with a credit card, transporting bicycles, threatening sadistic Belorussian roommates.

When I returned, having left The Roommate to put away the groceries, she met me with cries of how there was no electricity in her room. So, I figured out where the fuse box is and finally was able to throw the circuit breaker back.

But the thing is that I TOLD HER days ago NOT to put all these other gadgets on the same outlet as her A/C. I told her to get an extension cord and run it from the other wall. I told her, I told her.

Sigh.

This after yesterday I gave her a lesson on how to flush a toilet. Oh, she knows how - but this one is a little funky. A little jiggle is all, but she couldn't figure it out on her own.

Of course, there is a good side to this I guess. For example, she's very appreciative of my cooking and helps with prep and clean-up. And the other girl is very sweet (she says my German is perfect, without accent) and I don't begrudge helping her at all - she's going through some very rough times through no fault of her own.

I just feel weary. I feel like a mother lion. I feel like Adam Sandler's character in Spanglish when he just wanted to eat his sandwich. I just wanted to finish my green vegetables and move on to some canteloupe with vanilla yogurt. I just wanted quiet and peace and antioxidants.

So, Target Parking Lot boy is meeting me on Monday to build houses, he says. It'll be a hot date - heat index expectation is 110 again.

And The Ex-Fiance might be back in the picture. My heart and head are in too much conflict, so I say nothing. If he will wait until the end of time for me because he's so sure we are meant to be together, then why didn't he call me more often? Tell me things I needed to hear? GET DIVORCED? Too much water under the bridge, but also not enough. I would love to be sharing life here with him and the girls. Hell, if I'm gonna play mama, it may as well be to pre-teen stepdaughters rather than mid-20's Germans.