joke and no joke

First, the joke.

A chemist, a physicist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island. A can of peaches floats up and they try to figure out how to open it.

Chemist: We can combine these chemicals we find around and make a reaction that will heat the can to exactly 579 degrees Fahrenheit, which will cause the seal to break and the lid to pop off without harming the contents.

Physicist: We make a parabolic catapult and create the arc so the can sails, rotating, and strikes the sharp boulder at just the right speed and angle to flip off the lid without harming the contents.

Economist: Assume a can opener.

***
Trust me, it's a really, really good joke and I wish I'd known it years ago. Damn economists.

No joke, Professor of Dense Words is moving to a different school. He was untruthful to Son of Deepo Provera Inventor when he said he didn't have plans to leave. He has plans. He's on their website. Fine, he likes them better because their LSATs are 5 points higher than ours and because they don't have hurricanes that destroy his house. Fine. I'm not a groupie anymore. And I see him in half an hour and I will not pout. He doesn't care about us? Fine, we don't need him anyway.