Hate it when some silly university email requires a TOP SECRET code - no word in the dictionary, no place or name, must be combination of letters and number, must be combination of capital and lower case letters. WHY? WHY? I could care less if a hacker accesses that email account. But now I'm blocked from trying to change it because I tried too many times, so I'm stuck with some random code that makes absolutely no sense.
I lied for a kid yesterday. If a student misses more than 7 days per term, they cannot get credit. This counts even during testing - so if a kid missed some state testing that they made up later but not my class, I still have to count him/her absent - and that's bullshit. So, I changed the attendance records to say that a girl was testing when I don't remember that she was. She might have been lying to me, but it's a stupid rule and I'm overriding it by circumventing it. Now she can get her art credit. She's a very, very quiet girl who has a stubborn streak and her file shows her missing lots of class at her last school - and she would forge passes. And honestly, I don't care. She makes up all work. She really hates coming to school but she forces herself, and I think she deserves a little credit, and we're talking about one day - and I already yelled at her about it before. We had a long talk last week about what exactly she needs to do to graduate and then become a nurse. I am less convinced that she'll be a great nurse than my Superstar Student, because her people skills aren't great, but who knows? Nursing is a great career! Forging seems bad, but her work ethic shines through.
Superstar Student is one of those that makes showing up every day easier. She is just so awesome - she is always so pleasant and cheerful and helpful and works hard and listens and makes corrections without complaint (her skills aren't real high). When I assigned the power point, she figured it out at home (on tropical rain forests) and helped three other students at her house, making it a lot easier in my classroom because then she was able to act as an expert and I had less kids on computers. We don't know each other well - she's not one who hangs out in my classroom or who ever just chats with me - but what a joy.
Another kid did a really outstanding job on Power Point without my direct guidance - he took real initiative for the first time ever. What a really lovely change - from yelling at him to LISTEN TO ME to looking over his shoulder and asking how he did that. His topic is Marines in Iraq, and it's a really interesting presentation. I really liked being able to say, "This is really well done. Excellent job," and seeing him glow with pleasure and pride. Not because I want him to be extrinsically motivated, but because he knew it was a job well-done and I just confirmed it. We did have a little showdown at first when I said he had to have his facts straight and if he continued to insist that Iraq invaded the US on 9-11 that I would unplug the projector and not let him talk, and since then he really did try to be more balanced.
The kids' topics range from the atomic bombs dropped on Japan in WW2 to Jenni Rivera (Chicana singer) to Converse shoes to monkeys to alchemists to LA Lakers to joga bonita (street soccer in Brazil) to Lil Rob to Yamaha keyboards to Guadalajara to golden eagles. Really some interesting things and I learn from them. I do wish I had trusted my instincts and ignored the textbooks this year and forced the principal to buy me novels and other such books - if we had been project-oriented the entire year and I had been effective, I would have seen higher engagement.
What sucks is how the institutional constraints work - there is no laptop on our campus to use (well, there is one, but we can't get anybody to unlock it - they set it up wrong). Finding extension cords or anything else has been a major nightmare - I have to dismantle a desktop and reassemble it with cords everywhere waiting to trip somebody. It's insane. The classroom is completely not conducive to this type of thing, nor is the school. And that's just plain stupid. Why make teachers work harder to do their job well?? Good grief!
Oh, on completely unrelated note - I have highly elevated levels of thyroglobulin so the doctor I was referred to wants an immediate biopsy because that's a tumor marker. Thyroid cancer? I think not. Wouldn't I have symptoms?? The other reason it would be high is if I have Graves Disease, an autoimmune condition that causes hyperthyroidism. Wouldn't I have symptoms of hyperthyroidism? Wouldn't my eyes bulge? He also said that there's evidence of cells from a thyroid nodule decomposing. I don't know what that means. But I do know that cancer can kill healthy cells, so I think that's what he was intimating could be happening. Or maybe my body was just ridding itself of an unnecessary nodule. I trust my body more than they do! They see it as pathological problems (he was fixated on the fibroids) and I see it as well-functioning. I mean, I should appreciate their concern and follow-through, even though it's really stressful and comes at a really bad time. He tried to make my biopsy appointment during Monday's LSAT! So, we'll talk about it on Tuesday instead, and he'll talk to the surgeon and ask her to squeeze me in. He really doesn't want me to wait - he is really concerned, as was my other doctor. Hopefully for nothing! The good news that I saw on-line is that even if it IS cancer, most thyroid cancer is not that big of a deal and can be treated easily. I just am really not thrilled about any type of treatment that would require me to be on thyroid replacement medication for the rest of my life. If I do need treatment, then I will consider enrolling fall and winter terms at the university for a biology degree, which would get me medical coverage (and a really good student health center), and then find a job right after with coverage. Then I could get second opinions and all that.
What to do, what to do? I got five hours of sleep and am completely congested. I don't feel like moving anything or sorting anything or planning anything or going anywhere, but I can't sleep and I can't read because I can't concentrate. Maybe I'll watch some of crazy roommate's husband's movies all day on my laptop. Though, I can't sit still long. I wonder if I have arthritis - it physically hurts me to sit still too long. After a two-hour home instruction session, it hurts to stand and walk - and the one three-hour session I did, the kid and I both had really sore asses and we decided to never do that long again. Driving can hurt, too. In this way, teaching is a great career for me - I can wander around the classroom and not sit still too long. It also hurts to stand still too long. Not bad hurt, but I just stiffen up.
This is a very long post so I should stop.
But first, a funny thing. When I went to google-stalk a prof at my alma mater I'll be attending again, I followed a dead link and found this:
ERROR 404 - FILE NOT FOUND
A curious person asked a spiritual man,
A curious person asked a spiritual man,
"What is the best lesson in life to learn?"
"Impermanence is the ultimate lesson", he replied.
"For the only thing truly permanent is change.
Lust, money, and ultimately your life
return from whence they came.
But in this case, this web page has simply gone away."
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