workpeople

OK, in interests of full disclosure, I also must admit that my workplace is not the villianous pit of incompetence and unfriendliness that I portray it as.

Of course there are people there for whom I have little to no respect (administrators), and of course there are backstabbers and incompetents. But most of the teachers really do care and try to do their best. And many people have been welcoming to me. Yesterday the custodian found me in the office and said he'd been looking for me. "Necessitas cajas?" he asked. But with his rapid-fire accent, it sure sounded like cacas. So I was confused.

He was asking me in Spanish because it's our club of hispanohablantes - ever since he heard me translate at a meeting, he's been full of glee to find me, and he insists I'm fully Spanish fluent. But mostly, he was keeping it secret - these are very good boxes and he's saving them for "his friend." Me. Because I had told him I'm moving. These are not for work moving, he insisted, but for personal because I need them and they are good boxes.

Now, that is just sweet.

And another teacher said how much she'll miss me, when I noticed that she was at an ebb of mood of bipolar and so I made her talk to me. She's not doing well, forgot her meds one day, but she'll be ok.

And another teacher who seems to delight in talking to me - somehow he sees me as a kindred spirit, when I don't think two people could be more different. Retired marine and all that, but he actually really listens to me. Ever since somebody else quoted William Bennett my first week of school and I pointed out how Bennett is full of bullshit and profit motive - bashing education is in the best interests of his private "educational" corporations. The counselor once described this teacher as about as helpful to students as "teats on a boar," but I like him. We've always had a completely professional relationship (I don't even know if he has children, is married, anything about his life), but yesterday he started asking me other questions - like "Aren't you worried about not having a pension plan, because you move so much?" (I'm not). He thinks I'm a little crazy, and he would defintely never make the choices I do, but he actually respects me as a person despite our differences.

If we could all just be like that, the world would be so much better.

I don't want everybody in the world to be just like me - but I want to be able to have open dialogue with them. It's when people stop saying what they really think, when they try to conform, when others insist on the conformity - that's where I have the problems. Why do people look down on me because I don't want to have the same job for 30 years? It's my life!

And of course there are the students who have made me feel welcome. Dental-hygienist-to-be came to tell me that she got married over the weekend (she's 17, parents approved - and he does sound like a great guy - oh, as I write that, I realize I want to give a wedding gift). Some kids share these kinds of things, and we have that kind of meaningful relationship. She is also the one who thinks that I am a total freak for not having a TV. And at one point yesterday, when Aztec Boy was really frustrated me for not knowing anything in this world, I just put my hand on his shoulder and said, "But you have to love me anyway," and he does. I never really understand why I bond with the people I do, but there are sometimes people that we just have love for each other and that's the way it is, period. Of course I could kill that, but we nurture each other. He's usually the first kid I see in the morning (he comes to use the internet to check on the World Cup) and the last kid at the end of the day (he's usually arguing with me about something and leaves class last), and that does really help my attitude. However, he and I went together to the computer teacher's classroom right after school yesterday, and after he left I found out that he doesn't do any work in that class or even speak at all - so I got the grade print-out and I'll be uber-bitch about him getting everything done.

That's the one reason I wish I were returning - I worry about the kids who have bonded to me but not to anybody else. Of course there are kids I haven't bonded to that have bonded to others, and they'll be fine without me, despite their protests. But the few who found in me somebody they could trust - I feel that I'm betraying them. I'm the one who follows up and makes them do what they need to do. I hold them accountable and call bullshit on their excuses. No, it's not too hard; yes, you can pass - and you are going to sit your soccer-loving ass in that chair and finish this assignment right now.

Oh, and why else do things not totally suck right now? The two most annoying students have stopped showing up. I have no referrals to write and nobody to be obnoxious. Let's hope it stays that way.