is it stalking if they contacted me first?

So, I just logged into my Classmates.com account - something I set up years ago just to see other people's info.

There was some info about the upcoming class reunion which I probably won't make.

And then a message subject: "Like, OMG!"

It was from a very old friend, Tanya, I haven't talked to in 25 years. We knew each other from summer arts camp. She would come and spend summers with her parents in the town where I lived. She was adopted and her parents were crazy. Interesting, but crazy. I used to like going out to the island where her dad & crazy next wife lived because I never knew what I'd get into. We had such great times hiking to the cabin on the other side of the island, popping popcorn on the fire and watching the waves hit the cliffs. She got me into Al Jarreau and taught me a whole different way of life. She was a big city girl, living in San Diego pursuing a professional dance career and going through all sorts of things I couldn't even imagine. She was also the only Black person I ever met until I went to college. She was silly and we were silly and our time together was one of my favorite things about the summers I spent home.

I couldn't access the message without paying at least $15 for a subscription (and a recurring subscription I'm sure too, so it would be a hassle to cancel later). So, here's where the stalking comes in. I googled her, but nothing. But then I went a roundabout way on classmates and found her married name (she never went to school there, so she's not really registered I think). And then I googled that I found somebody by that name who'd run a half-marathon last June near San Diego.

Could it be the same?

So, I just called and left a message on some random woman's answering machine, saying who I am and that I'm leaving the area soon so she needs to call me back soon if it's really her. I could go down next weekend ... because the truth is that I started packing too soon. I am such a veteran mover that I could take care of all this in a couple days - though the dropping things off with people takes a lot more time, and I could just dump it all at Goodwill.

Maybe if I hadn't just reread all sorts of yearbook comments from former students I wouldn't be so inclined to call and take a chance. But that school where I taught - they all had this image of me that was wild and fiery and loving with a prison past. They were fiercely loyal to me and I forgot how much I missed them.

I threw the yearbook away. Like almost everything else. Spring cleaning, I'm moving for real. Some of these things - like the knitting books - have been with me for 12 years, which means more moves than I can count. Some - like piano books - since middle school.

I can always buy more Bach and Beethoven and new sweater patterns if I ever do move to Iceland. And maybe I seem silly to toss things for which I have such fond memories, such as the yearbook.

But life goes on and I'm shedding my skin. At the same time, I don't forget who I am or where I come from, and Tanya was an important person in my life.

And so what's with me and ex-loves and their records? Earlier I told how I find a former boyfriend through the police blotter. Now, by scanning classmates.com I remembered the spelling of a guy - just googled him and he provided the gun for a drive-by hit killing. Yes, I did know that - he had written me from prison frequently before we lost touch. But I thought he was exaggerating. Nope - there are all the court documents. Sigh. The thing that bugs is that he was offered immunity for his help in busting the killer - and he did all that, but he still did lots of time for stealing a gun and letting his roommate borrow it without knowing the intent. And he lost on appeal. Despite: "The state admits that Closson's assistance was important in breaking the case." They made his name public and then required that he do even more undercover work - which would just make him get killed!

Anyway, I know he was bad news, but putting him into prison with hardened criminals when he was just barely 18 and still in high school - that messed up his life more than his prostitute mother who committed suicide did. And now when I google, I see arrest warrants in Texas, and yeah, it's him. Unusual name - and I still remember his birthdate and middle name.

It's not that I like the bad boys really. I just don't let a little felony or two interfere with romance. I really, really liked him - we had great times together. Sigh.

OK, enough memory lane. I'm not calling him, too.