milk

I was raised by Kansans, so I call the least-fat milk "skim." That's just the way I was raised, so don't mess with my midwest values.

In California, however, people in coffee shops often looked at me blankly. Somebody, usually an older person, would turn over her shoulder and say, "She means nonfat." So, I adapted. It became nonfat. I became lactose-bilingual.

But then I came to New Orleans, and I ordered a nonfat latte at CC's. Blank look. "Skim? It's a skinny latte!" she shouted to the barista.

Back to my roots, I see.

When I told this story to Tami, she thought I was crazy. "Skim? Nonfat? You should be ordering soy and avoiding supporting the whole evil dairy industry! You want me to tell you again about the health problems of drinking that gross, disgusting milk?! Do you want to read these articles?!"