tip

If you're calling for details about stalking, be careful who you talk to.

OK, I'm of course not really stalking a student, but I want to check up on him the one day I'm in town - so I called the school to learn school hours. Who answered? The principal. THE PRINCIPAL! And he recognized my voice. Of course, years of stalking practice had me with a great cover story (he effed up and the district owes me $1,000 and I need to fill out a paper).

I'm not Mary Kay LeTourneau or any of the other women teachers who have sex with students. Of course I never would, or be inappropriate at all. But we live in this climate of extreme fear of teacher-student relationships. So, to check up on a former student could be construed in an inappropriate way. I've been in too many places where I've seen the witchhunts against good teachers - but the real problem ones weren't even dealt with.

The way schools are set up, it makes healthy relationships between students and teachers too often seem pathological. What happens? Neither students nor teachers get their emotional needs met. Sure, some people do just fine with a cold, institutional environment, or they find ways around it (being grandmotherly, for example), but too many people die emotional deaths each day because they aren't connected. When I go out on the limb for a kid getting services s/he needs and I have to pull teeth every step of the way - that is bullshit. Classrooms and schools should be places filled with love and caring. Of course that means different things to different people - I, for one, am never thrilled when kids feel the need to hug me. I have personal space issues. Nor am I a warm fuzzy person with desire to praise. But I love fiercely and protectively. I am a pitbull - often harassing students and parents and administrators to do what they need for the student to be successful. I'm surprised no official complaints have been filed against me for that.

But I've been burned too many times - and seen others burned.

And that is why I cannot teach anymore.

The good thing about this morning's conversation is that we were friendly. I actually sustained a positive relationship with an administrator for whom I hold very little respect. He never screwed me over like he did others, and we are still civil. That is a major step for me. Of course the assistant principal and I are not civil, but that's ok. One boss who doesn't hate me - that's a step in the right direction for my law career.