turning out fine

This morning when I woke up at 6:00 it was raining HARD. I thought how much I did NOT want to get out of bed to drive to the damn dealership. It's been 8 damn months since my last oil change and I saw corrosion on the battery.

But the rain slowed and I slowly dragged myself out of bed.

And it was good. I'm getting a spankin-brand new radio worth $1,200 for free (finally, my extended warranty pays off), my truck's all set for a weekend of birding and Alabama, I had an interesting chat with the shuttle driver about race in New Orleans, and I got to spend most of the afternoon with Kamaria (whom I hardly ever see now because she skips class so much).

Sometimes, things look bad and they turn out good.

I wish I were leaving tomorrow for Africa. Lots of other people are leaving and I'm not. OK, so they're going to Florida and Mississippi and Philadelphia - not any places that I want to go. What I tell myself is that I've spent - and will continue to spend - more time throughout this semester than a spring break would be on vacation-oriented activities. That instead of needing a break, I can catch up now on all the learning I haven't done yet. That summer is less than two months away which will pass oh so quickly in a blur of classes and weekend excursions and frantic studying and review sessions and exams. Exams start in about six weeks, and I'm so far from ready it's like the unexplored continent.

And I'm tired - for some reason the people behind me and the people across the street have decided to party hard all night long, and I"m behind on sleep - it sucks, and I think I'm getting sick.

This whole coffee-free lifestyle - it's overrated. I've been having the STRONGEST cravings lately, and I've gone ahead and gotten decaf two days in a row now. Sucks.

And I still have no EFFING clue about summer. Here are my options:
1. Go to Liberia half the summer, summer school law school abroad half the summer.
2. Go to Liberia half, summer school in NOLA half.
3. Liberia half, international development program summer school half (probably the best option if I decide to get the Int'l Dev MS).
4. Law school summer school half, int'l dev program summer school half.
5. Try to find a job here for the whole summer (what Dayton would vote for).
6. Liberia or summer school half the summer, half the summer kickin it here and volunteering (finish pro bono requirement).
7. Whole summer kickin it here and volunteering (the best option if I buy a house) and short trips to visit friends.
8. Combine summer school or Liberia with an intensive French course. In France this time. To actually learn French.

When I asked the university doctor, she said that there's no way she would go to remote Africa with my condition. I'm still opposed to permanent treatments, but she said she'd definitely then recommend that I be on medication.

But I look at the medication side effects, and they scare me more than the possibility of thyroid storm - possible white blood cell depletion (leaving me very vulnerable to serious infection), liver damage - those are just the highlights. I don't want to be in Liberia and have either of those problems any more than I'd want to be there and thyroid storm.

Maybe I'll just stay here on my couch for three solid months.