the will to move

Bennachin's is my favorite New Orleans restaurant, hands down. Oh sure, I have my falafal dalliances and jambalaya fixation - but Bennachin (the only African restaurant in town) does me right.

First mortgage broker I called today basically laughed at me, then called back to say he couldn't help me because I have no income. That doesn't make sense to me - the already-rented out units more than make the mortgage. So, I'm calling somebody else. Actually, emailed and haven't heard back.

So then I got to fixin about renting. Maybe I should just rent - so I tried to call a number for a way cute place we drove past and they didn't answer and the mailbox was full. OK, don't want a landlady like that. So then I called another from Craigslist, and I just went to go see it.

In lots of ways it's perfect - w/d AND d/w in unit - AND A PANTRY. Refinished hardwood floors, and access to the backyard shared with others where I could lock up my bike. Landlord very concerned about quiet & mature tenants.

BUT, the first thing I saw was mold on the front door. WAshed off, but it stained. That just doesn't look good. And some of the paint on the windowsills and baseboards in the bedroom are peeling off in strips - and I'm sure that's lead-based paint. It's small - of course larger than what I have now, but small nonetheless. Not big enough for me and Dayton if he wants to watch TV and I want to study. Or vice versa.

And, I want my own house.

Sigh.

OK, it's official - I'm addicted to Popeye's. Somehow it got in my thoughts a bit ago and I can't let go of the jonesin for spicy chicken strips. Hm ... according to the nutritional information, the only "bad" thing I get there is the biscuit. OK, that's my ultra-nutritious dinner tonight. Hey, I had spinach for lunch. OK, so Bennachin's is rivalled by Popeye's.

Anyway, I must, must, must focus on my studying.

I think. But then I read this article for Legal Profession which is all about how effed up lawyers are, how they don't have lives, how unbalanced and unhealthy they are, etc. And while those $160000 starting salaries sound WAY sweet, there's no way I'm living that life. I damn sure better make more than I did teaching, but I'm getting over my idea that I can work in a big firm (where the big money is) and keep my humanity and sanity.

So that excuses my lack of focus. It's like Jessica said the other day, "I see those people studying in the library and getting straight C's and I think they must be pretty stupid. So me, putting everything off and not going to class and partying all the time - at least I don't have to look in the mirror and call myself stupid with my grades." What if I work harder and my grades go down?

But more than that - the firms that are looking for the top 10% - those probably aren't places where I would fit in. I'll be too busy birding and renovating and mommying - too busy with the rest of my life to let law consume my soul. So why not live the life now that I want in five years? I'm too old to sacrifice time.

And life is too short to deny myself Popeye's spicy chicken strips.

Oh - the impetus for all this moving jonesin? All yesterday there was loud partying abutting my backyard, then into the night into my front yard. I finally called the cops, and then it quieted down. There's trash everywhere, especially beer cans. Stupid. I don't want to put up with that shit.