... or this

"You are fabulous!"

That's what the person in charge of the pro bono stuff I'm working on just emailed me.

Why are strangers so much nicer to me than my boyfriend? Something's way effed up, and he is under ultimatum to fix it. I'm not seeing much fixing going on, so I must muster up resolve of steel. Sometimes, to quote a song I dislike rather strongly, love just ain't enough. That I love him, and that he loves me, is really not in question. Our compatibility, as he digs in his Leo heels of stubbornness, has become a flashing fluorescent question mark. So, if we're just going to keep making each other miserable, one of us has to be man enough to pull the plug. He's got two more weeks until the deadline, but seriously - if he blows off Valentine's Day, it's over. A girl has to have romantic standards, after all. I know that Valentine's Day is a stupid made-up holiday that I've never given a hoot about - but the man forgot my birthday. This is his chance to make it up.

Anyway, I'm already burned out and I barely just got into the swing of things. The thing is the meetings that are killing me - between meeting with profs and doctors and volunteering and all sorts of stuff, I'm overextended. I keep waiting for a free day, but then I waste it.

I'm getting more and more fond of the idea of a split summer - half in Liberia at an internship and half at a firm somewhere, anywhere. But, I must get those applications in! After I meet tomorrow with career counselor ... after a training ... after class ... before classes. Wednesdays are brutal, but I'm making other days brutal now, too.

The worst part of this pro bono work is that it costs me money - to drive there and to park. I could do it elsewhere, but I need a phone - and to use my crappy cell phone with bad sound is 10 cents a minute. Either way I'm paying. Plus, my apartment is the size of a FEMA trailer and I don't have space to lay out files and figure things out. But there's no place else for me to go - if I go to the library I can't talk on the phone, and I don't have access to another phone. I'm kinda screwed. So, I'm putting in my 30 hours of mandatory service and then I need to say I'm done, because I'm paying about $2/hour for the privilege of working for free. I'm learning lots and hopefully I'll get a good reference (calling me fabulous would be good), but I'm just not going to be a pro bono girl. I sympathize for the poor - but my primary goal will be to get this poor girl out of debt.

OK, and now I must do a writing project for tomorrow which will involve reading about 200 pages and writing about them. And I'm exhausted from a day of running about like a crazy woman. Oh, I am a crazy woman. Classes just seem harder this term - much more to do than last term. Or, my time management skills have drastically diminished.