do I ask too much

M is the new love of my life. He of course doesn't know it, will never know it, but I will look at him longingly as he sits in front of me in Contracts 2 Monday and Wednesday afternoons. I do love a well-groomed man especially when he's leaning back near my space.

He kept his word to me. It's those little things that count. He made me a stupid little promise and he remembered it. I recommend him for Man of the Year.

I don't remember that list of things that I said were most important in a man. Dayton has them mostly. But this, this keeping your word always no matter what, he doesn't have and he doesn't understand what I'm talking about.

It's at the top of my list now.

Though, I have to say, that well-groomed man thing is pretty far up there, too. We used to make such fun of Fred because it takes him FOREVER to get ready in the morning - like so many Liberian men - but it's because they look SO DAMN GOOD.

Where I grew up, men have scraggly beards and wear dirty CarHartt jackets and drive rusted-out trucks. It makes a man with that real close cut hair and clean clear lines - it makes my knees weak.

With this whole new bad attitude of mine, I sit in the back of the room and I see the backs of heads. White boys here, they got way scruffy necklines. All the girls have long hair, all the boys have hairy necks. It's a miserable view. How do these rich white kids have such bad hair when refugees can look so damn good?

But M, he sits there with that crisp line, keeping his promise to me, and I'm thinking there's hope for mankind. This younger generation, they've got some good ones.

Of course, I'm one of the scruffy white people - I haven't had a hair cut since ... I don't remember. A year? But once my head is healed, I'm off to an Aveda academy.