The most common way for me to get around is by foot, and I'm in good company - lots of people walk. The hard part is the damn sand everywhere, so a short jaunt is trudging as if on beach. And my feet are always so dirty.
I've also traveled by clando, which I think is short for clandestine taxi. They're unlicensed taxis in various states of disrepair, some pretty scary. I took the clando yesterday for the first time alone to Kasbi, a market where I'd heard there was a travel agency. There wasn't. So later Maguey drove me to the airport, which is under renovation and nobody knows where anything is, but we found the Slok office because an Indian guy gave me his business card.
Slok is the sketchy airline I didn't want to fly with, but it seems my best bet. I'm not feeling well and want to go to Ghana, so I'm waiting to hear from Dayton and then if it all works out I'll go back over to the airport to buy the ticket. I have a reservation for tomorrow, which consists of my name written on a list. Fingers crossed I make it back on time for my flight back to the States next Thursday at 6 am.
There are also busses of various size and color and comfort, so it is quite easy to get around here. I do just hate crossing the street by foot because the expectation is that pedestrians will dodge the insane drivers.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
things that go baa in the night
Marc (Brit), Swenja (German) and I were out one day, and when we returned Marc stared, mough agape, and just pointed.
There about three feet from my bedroom, lying peacefully and chewing its cud, was a huge sheep with big horns which Marc named Boris.
Things were fine with the sheep until the next morning at 5:00 when he began baaing and baaing and baaing as if it were already Tabaski and Maguey were coming towards him with a knife.
The only thing that would comfort the damn mouton was if I zould sit with him and pet him. The sheep was lonely, but I got so sleep deprived that Tabaski was about to come early in the Sy household with the knife in my hands. The good part of it was that the 4 year old demon seed Cheik and I bonded. He actually listened to me, pretending he understands French, and we would sit together begging the sheep to stay quiet. I even took Cheik out to the boulangerie for my morning demi baguette and he was very well behaved. Wonders never cease.
But today I could take it no longer and told Maguey I need to move. There are several reasons I would like to move, including that I can't stand Maguey, but the straw breaking this camel's back was the sheep.
The sheep is gone and I'm still there. Maguey hired the neighborhood horse drawn cart (they're everywhere) to carry the sheep to his father's house, where he will stay until Tabaski.
It wasn't just the baaing; it was the barnyard stench and everybody tracking sheep shit around the house until Absa came to clean up. And it's the problem of bonding with dinner. Can I eat food that kissed my fingers hello?
Boris is a good sheep and it makes me sad. If I were a good Muslim I would say he is a good sheep, patient and kind, because he is happy for his fate of being sacrificed. I would say that he bleats because he is eager to sacrifice himself.
But I'm not, and I do not want to watch his throat slit this weekend. If it were up to me, I'd run off into the sunset with Boris and sacrifice both Abraham-Maguey and the son Cheikh.
There about three feet from my bedroom, lying peacefully and chewing its cud, was a huge sheep with big horns which Marc named Boris.
Things were fine with the sheep until the next morning at 5:00 when he began baaing and baaing and baaing as if it were already Tabaski and Maguey were coming towards him with a knife.
The only thing that would comfort the damn mouton was if I zould sit with him and pet him. The sheep was lonely, but I got so sleep deprived that Tabaski was about to come early in the Sy household with the knife in my hands. The good part of it was that the 4 year old demon seed Cheik and I bonded. He actually listened to me, pretending he understands French, and we would sit together begging the sheep to stay quiet. I even took Cheik out to the boulangerie for my morning demi baguette and he was very well behaved. Wonders never cease.
But today I could take it no longer and told Maguey I need to move. There are several reasons I would like to move, including that I can't stand Maguey, but the straw breaking this camel's back was the sheep.
The sheep is gone and I'm still there. Maguey hired the neighborhood horse drawn cart (they're everywhere) to carry the sheep to his father's house, where he will stay until Tabaski.
It wasn't just the baaing; it was the barnyard stench and everybody tracking sheep shit around the house until Absa came to clean up. And it's the problem of bonding with dinner. Can I eat food that kissed my fingers hello?
Boris is a good sheep and it makes me sad. If I were a good Muslim I would say he is a good sheep, patient and kind, because he is happy for his fate of being sacrificed. I would say that he bleats because he is eager to sacrifice himself.
But I'm not, and I do not want to watch his throat slit this weekend. If it were up to me, I'd run off into the sunset with Boris and sacrifice both Abraham-Maguey and the son Cheikh.
two blind mice
A mouse just nearly ran over my feet, so this post is timely.
I'm here in the Nigerian cyber cafe, the one everybody tells me not to go to. But I canùt get into any others because there's no electricity or any free, etc.
I've taken to heating the water for coffee in the mornings and the other day I wqs greeted with the corpses of two mice right there next to the gas burner. Sigh. I have quite a problem with how they choose to leave the dinner dishes all out lying there with food until the maid comes in the morning. There's no good reason.
I like the maid, Absa, though I have no idea what she thinks of me. She doesn't speak much French. Everybody here speaks Wolof but only the well educated really speak French. Makes communicating with women pretty difficult. The woman of the house, Ngeye Khady, had French for 9 years in school but doesn't really understand the difference between I you he she it, etc. Makes for some pretty interesting conversations.
Anyway the rodent issue is a strange one for me because everybody I meet in every house is so clean. Why the cockroaches and mice? And there was a rat carcass by the side of the road and that rat was about the size of an American cat. Blech.
But again, the cleanliness standards here are fantastic so all is good on that front. I eat street food regularly with no ill effects. Garbage trucks drive around regularly and people walk out with their buckets to toss in. It is a clean country. I was going to say especially here in Camberene, a very religious area where smoking in public is forbidden, but it's clean almost everywhere. So enough about that.
I'm here in the Nigerian cyber cafe, the one everybody tells me not to go to. But I canùt get into any others because there's no electricity or any free, etc.
I've taken to heating the water for coffee in the mornings and the other day I wqs greeted with the corpses of two mice right there next to the gas burner. Sigh. I have quite a problem with how they choose to leave the dinner dishes all out lying there with food until the maid comes in the morning. There's no good reason.
I like the maid, Absa, though I have no idea what she thinks of me. She doesn't speak much French. Everybody here speaks Wolof but only the well educated really speak French. Makes communicating with women pretty difficult. The woman of the house, Ngeye Khady, had French for 9 years in school but doesn't really understand the difference between I you he she it, etc. Makes for some pretty interesting conversations.
Anyway the rodent issue is a strange one for me because everybody I meet in every house is so clean. Why the cockroaches and mice? And there was a rat carcass by the side of the road and that rat was about the size of an American cat. Blech.
But again, the cleanliness standards here are fantastic so all is good on that front. I eat street food regularly with no ill effects. Garbage trucks drive around regularly and people walk out with their buckets to toss in. It is a clean country. I was going to say especially here in Camberene, a very religious area where smoking in public is forbidden, but it's clean almost everywhere. So enough about that.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
food in food out
Thinking of interesting things …
Food. We do get three meals which is more than in Ghana. Breakfast is always baguette and if we beg we get La vache qui rit (Laughing Cow cheese) or butter. Two of the volunteers here have a stash of jam that they bring out sometimes. Instant coffee, never tea. Because tea is a two hour ritual in the afternoon, boiling tea until it tastes like boiled tobacco leaves with so much sugar. Then they boil it again, sometimes with mint and a ton more sugar. And the good ones do it yet again for three rounds of the vile stuff.
Lunch is usually a version of jollof rice (chebuzhen) which is a big pot of rice sometimes with tomato sauce with boiled vegetables and whole fish. Huge chunks of vegetables. Then they scoop it all out on a big platter and we sit around on a big mat they lay underneath and ze dig in with a spoon. The owner of the house divvies up the vegs and meat to be sure we’re all eating enough.
Dinner is more of sitting on the floor usually with baguettes and a stew of some sort.
OK running out of patience with typing so I’ll just tell one more interesting thing: toilet. The bathroom is a toilet hole in the floor and a shower on the wall. Theres no toilet paper of any kind used but a bucket with water to clean off. It takes some getting used to for sure.
Food. We do get three meals which is more than in Ghana. Breakfast is always baguette and if we beg we get La vache qui rit (Laughing Cow cheese) or butter. Two of the volunteers here have a stash of jam that they bring out sometimes. Instant coffee, never tea. Because tea is a two hour ritual in the afternoon, boiling tea until it tastes like boiled tobacco leaves with so much sugar. Then they boil it again, sometimes with mint and a ton more sugar. And the good ones do it yet again for three rounds of the vile stuff.
Lunch is usually a version of jollof rice (chebuzhen) which is a big pot of rice sometimes with tomato sauce with boiled vegetables and whole fish. Huge chunks of vegetables. Then they scoop it all out on a big platter and we sit around on a big mat they lay underneath and ze dig in with a spoon. The owner of the house divvies up the vegs and meat to be sure we’re all eating enough.
Dinner is more of sitting on the floor usually with baguettes and a stew of some sort.
OK running out of patience with typing so I’ll just tell one more interesting thing: toilet. The bathroom is a toilet hole in the floor and a shower on the wall. Theres no toilet paper of any kind used but a bucket with water to clean off. It takes some getting used to for sure.
Monday, December 18, 2006
je suis ici
First i apologize for all typos. These are French keyboards and the keys are in different places and this keyboard is marked incorrectly.
But, i am here in Senegal and all is fine.
Where to start; I cant find the question marks or apostrophes. Just like i cant find my French tongue. I stumble over every thought and its very frustrating. But things will improve.
Things are SO different than Ghana! Its nice and cool here: cant be more than 80 F. And people arent rude but they arent overly friendly either.
Sorry this will suck; its so hard to type on this ,achine. Today we went to Lac Rose; pink lake; which is pink because of saltloving algae. Waded in there and got pics; then avoided the tourist hawkers.
Tabasci will be before I leave; this is commemoration of Abrahams sacrifice so everybody has sheep in their yards which they bathe and henna to purify. then the sheep all die and we eat. Im too practical about food to be a good zealot.
The clothes here are great; cant wait to post pics.
Im staying zith the program directors family which is disappointing because other English speakrs there and around. But most people here speak more Wolof than French anyway; and I often cant tell the difference. My teacher speaks SO FAST which is payback for my teaching Im sure. Hes friendly and energetic but already annoying me with all those damn verbs.
If Ghana was Africa Light then Senegal is Africa Ultra Light. Ive only had one proposal so far and that was a Nigerian. Most children dont swarm and I can beat them off pretty easily. The airport was fine; much quicker than Accra to get through immigration and luggage. The program director wasnt there to pick me up but I had no worries. A couple guys tried to help me but I knew I could find a phone and call him; or worst case scenario find my own place. My French may suck but my survival skills are honed. He eventually showed up and I was whisked away.
We live to the north of Dakar about an hour by bus from the city center. Its Camberene a new suburb and quite nice; quite pious and calm. The family has a 3 year old who is a beast and he runs wild out in the street with no supervision but everybody looks out for everybody else. It seems a great place to be a child; but not such a great place to be a sheep. There are little shops everywhere selling all my necessities of laundry detergent and chocolate biscuits. Sometimes I hear call to prayer but not often enough. Thats one of my favorite sounds.
Well Ill try to post this and see if it takes and then go do French homework.
But, i am here in Senegal and all is fine.
Where to start; I cant find the question marks or apostrophes. Just like i cant find my French tongue. I stumble over every thought and its very frustrating. But things will improve.
Things are SO different than Ghana! Its nice and cool here: cant be more than 80 F. And people arent rude but they arent overly friendly either.
Sorry this will suck; its so hard to type on this ,achine. Today we went to Lac Rose; pink lake; which is pink because of saltloving algae. Waded in there and got pics; then avoided the tourist hawkers.
Tabasci will be before I leave; this is commemoration of Abrahams sacrifice so everybody has sheep in their yards which they bathe and henna to purify. then the sheep all die and we eat. Im too practical about food to be a good zealot.
The clothes here are great; cant wait to post pics
Im staying zith the program directors family which is disappointing because other English speakrs there and around. But most people here speak more Wolof than French anyway; and I often cant tell the difference. My teacher speaks SO FAST which is payback for my teaching Im sure. Hes friendly and energetic but already annoying me with all those damn verbs.
If Ghana was Africa Light then Senegal is Africa Ultra Light. Ive only had one proposal so far and that was a Nigerian. Most children dont swarm and I can beat them off pretty easily. The airport was fine; much quicker than Accra to get through immigration and luggage. The program director wasnt there to pick me up but I had no worries. A couple guys tried to help me but I knew I could find a phone and call him; or worst case scenario find my own place. My French may suck but my survival skills are honed. He eventually showed up and I was whisked away.
We live to the north of Dakar about an hour by bus from the city center. Its Camberene a new suburb and quite nice; quite pious
Well Ill try to post this and see if it takes and then go do French homework.
Friday, December 15, 2006
holiday presents
For those of y'all wondering what to get people ... how about Blue Roof Cookies? Blue roofs for the tarps on so many roofs still - a symbol of the construction still needed. All profits go to Habitat for Humanity and New Orleans Recovery School District - by local graphic artists. Excellent cause.
So, it's foggy here and can only pick up internet signal if I crouch in the corner and hold the computer just so. Time to get up off my knees.
Happy holidays, y'all!
So, it's foggy here and can only pick up internet signal if I crouch in the corner and hold the computer just so. Time to get up off my knees.
Happy holidays, y'all!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Saints Remix
Check it out. Love it. (And Lara - Toby would love it, too.)
What's the only thing that could make me not despise football? Hurricane Katrina.
I'm actually ready to get a jersey and wear it with pride.
Who am I? Sunday I actually got up after I'd gone to bed to check if they beat Dallas (they KICKED ASS and that made me happy).
Also love Sean Paul. Dancing through two of his songs will burn off any number of unfavorite things. He is so in my Pro-Miscegenation Party. (From Wikipedia: "Sean Paul has multiracial origins. He is the son of a Jewish father (whose Portuguese family emigrated to Jamaica in the 17th century) and Chinese-Jamaican mother. In line with his Sephardi heritage, he was a pupil at the island’s Hillel Academy, a non-religious school funded by the local Jewish community.
Asked about his background, he quotes:
"My grandmother on my mother's side was born in Coventry, England, but the rest of my grandparents were Jamaican in origin. My mother's father, however, is Chinese and my father's father is from Portuguese descent. My grandmother on my father's side is mixed with black and white."[3] "
Now I continue that search for my mosquito net.
What's the only thing that could make me not despise football? Hurricane Katrina.
I'm actually ready to get a jersey and wear it with pride.
Who am I? Sunday I actually got up after I'd gone to bed to check if they beat Dallas (they KICKED ASS and that made me happy).
Also love Sean Paul. Dancing through two of his songs will burn off any number of unfavorite things. He is so in my Pro-Miscegenation Party. (From Wikipedia: "Sean Paul has multiracial origins. He is the son of a Jewish father (whose Portuguese family emigrated to Jamaica in the 17th century) and Chinese-Jamaican mother. In line with his Sephardi heritage, he was a pupil at the island’s Hillel Academy, a non-religious school funded by the local Jewish community.
Asked about his background, he quotes:
"My grandmother on my mother's side was born in Coventry, England, but the rest of my grandparents were Jamaican in origin. My mother's father, however, is Chinese and my father's father is from Portuguese descent. My grandmother on my father's side is mixed with black and white."[3] "
Now I continue that search for my mosquito net.
a few of my least favorite things ...
Blueberry candy canes. Why? Because they aren't the REAL candy canes that I just drove all over tarnation trying to find to take to Senegal as a taste of America. Big Lots woman: "Oh they don't have those no more." What?! Who the hell wants a Disney fruit-flavored candy cane? Losers, that's who.
Doxycycline. Now, I'm all glad that it keeps me malaria- free, but I hate swallowing pills (especially with enlarged thyroid) and taking it every day. I took it tonight for the first time for this trip, and my stomach started cramping bad. I'd already eaten dinner but I swung by Wendy's for some french fries, since the pharmacist told me I needed to coat my stomach to keep the nausea at bay. More on the greasy fingers later.
The Huey P. Long Bridge. It is my worst nightmare, absolutely. Two miles of hell - very narrow lanes, built in the 1930s (do I LOOK like I'm riding a horse?), buried in dark and fog. Or was just tonight and my wrong turn, coupled with drag racers without license plates and greasy french fry fingers?
Sometimes we know our deaths - and mine will be off a bridge. OK, so my paranoia is pathological, but the panic, the hyperventilation, the steel grip on the steering wheel - it's in my reptilian brain.
I should have gone out to the bar or the parties with my classmates that I was invited to instead of my interbank (I crossed the Mississippi) quest for candy canes. But as much as I may enjoy my classmates and know I am very fortunate - I'm SO OUT OF LAW SCHOOL NOW. And except for Ayanna taking me to the airport tomorrow, that includes removal from classmates as well.
Passport? Check.
Foucault's Pendulum as airplane reading? Check.
Wet Ones? Check.
16 gallons of hand sanitizer? Check.
Water purification tablets? Check.
Toothbrush? Check.
I'm so out of here. Huey P. Long in my dust.
Doxycycline. Now, I'm all glad that it keeps me malaria- free, but I hate swallowing pills (especially with enlarged thyroid) and taking it every day. I took it tonight for the first time for this trip, and my stomach started cramping bad. I'd already eaten dinner but I swung by Wendy's for some french fries, since the pharmacist told me I needed to coat my stomach to keep the nausea at bay. More on the greasy fingers later.
The Huey P. Long Bridge. It is my worst nightmare, absolutely. Two miles of hell - very narrow lanes, built in the 1930s (do I LOOK like I'm riding a horse?), buried in dark and fog. Or was just tonight and my wrong turn, coupled with drag racers without license plates and greasy french fry fingers?
Sometimes we know our deaths - and mine will be off a bridge. OK, so my paranoia is pathological, but the panic, the hyperventilation, the steel grip on the steering wheel - it's in my reptilian brain.
I should have gone out to the bar or the parties with my classmates that I was invited to instead of my interbank (I crossed the Mississippi) quest for candy canes. But as much as I may enjoy my classmates and know I am very fortunate - I'm SO OUT OF LAW SCHOOL NOW. And except for Ayanna taking me to the airport tomorrow, that includes removal from classmates as well.
Passport? Check.
Foucault's Pendulum as airplane reading? Check.
Wet Ones? Check.
16 gallons of hand sanitizer? Check.
Water purification tablets? Check.
Toothbrush? Check.
I'm so out of here. Huey P. Long in my dust.
1/2 of 1/3
Criminal Law Textbook: $114.
Index cards: 89 cents.
Pens: gifts from Gail and somehow pilfered from past workplaces: free.
Throwing away flashcards of the Model Penal Code:
PRICELESS.
song stuck in my head
Beyonce - Irreplaceable
Heard it for first time recently, and then it was a ring tone on a woman's phone at the laundromat.
Gotta love it - it's not vicious, but it's strong - grrrl power!
Heard it for first time recently, and then it was a ring tone on a woman's phone at the laundromat.
Gotta love it - it's not vicious, but it's strong - grrrl power!
final final
What is today? My final final!
What is tomorrow? Departure day! It'll be a couple hour flight to NYC, then battling through the traffic to get to the other airport, then about 6.5 hours to London and 6.5 from there to Senegal.
Last night I started packing, but need to do laundry before I can do much more. I might tonight while dining with Tami and Ahmed - a nearby Middle Eastern restaurant has a laundromat in the back. I had hoped to wake up early and inspired and charge out at the world with my laundry ... but alas, that is not my feeling today.
All these terms and concepts of CrimLaw are jumbled in my head ... conspiracy, attempt, solicitation, accomplice ... complete and voluntary renunciation ... for the purpose of promoting or facilitating the crime ... criminal homicide - murder is purposeful (result is the conscious object) or knowing (practically certain of the result) or the MPC felony-murder, manslaughter is reckless (conscious disregard for substantial and unjustifiable risk; grossly deviant from the normal person standard of care) or would be murder but for reasonable extreme emotional disturbance, criminal negligence (should have known of s/u risk - failure to perceives is grossly deviant from reasonable person standard of care) ... and on and on. He really does want THE EXACT WORDS. OK, if I'm actually practicing the law - then I will use THE EXACT WORDS but I will have them there to refer to and I will memorize the relevant ones! Why memorize all this garbage? It's not even a real penal code - I'll have to learn the real one for whatever jurisdiction I'm in, so this won't help me.
Yeah, I'm just bitter because I didn't start memorizing it months ago when he told us to. Right now I'm praying for the B but not feeling real strong. The only thing in my favor is that I process quickly - nobody could ever really finish one of his exams, so I'll have a little edge there that I type like a demon if fully caffeinated.
OK, this is crazy - the neighbor is running the A/C all the damn time. It's actually a little chilly out now - just OPEN A WINDOW! The problem - in addition to the annoyance I always feel when people disregard the environment for stupid reasons and waste limited resources - is that the A/C unit is RIGHT by my back door - which is the only thing I can open for some fresh air (the front door has no screen, and there are lots of flying friends out there who want to suck my blood - until I realized I couldn't leave the front door open, I spent my evenings here chasing dozens of mosquitos each evening, and would still wake up with lots of bites - and, of course, there is no window). Again, I say, he has been really a great neighbor - very considerate of my studying and everything else, and he'll bring in my mail and all that while I'm gone, and very friendly. I couldn't ask for a better neighbor - I'm not complaining about him. It's just too close.
I have several old email addresses that I rarely check, but I did this morning. Lots of junk, and then a name I recognized - a guy I hooked up with almost 7 years ago. He has LONG since been deleted from my contacts list.
First message (from most recent): Hi, sorry for that first email, my hotmail is adding addresses randomly. Hope all is well with you!
Third message (to me and a Kendra): Hi baby, hope you're doing well. Those four days stretches are a bear. Since I didn't hear from you yesterday you must have had a bad day at work - give me a call when you get a chance. Love ya, Nick"
Second message (from Kendra): Who is [my old email address] and why is she getting the same email?
I like this Kendra person. She's sharp and gets to it. And at first I thought, "What, he's ccing me to show he's got a new girl after all these years?" but no, she's a vet like him and from the tone of the email sounds like a long-time buddy. (Because I know how he emails more-than-buddies. I know it well.)
Nick bugged after awhile - we were all about magical moments in special locations, but when we tried to recapture in suburbia it was no good. We had a mild infatuation with each other which took us far too long to acknowledge - he's the man who introduced me to South Park. I thought about him last week for the first time in probably years.
OK, time to hit this day full-force.
What is tomorrow? Departure day! It'll be a couple hour flight to NYC, then battling through the traffic to get to the other airport, then about 6.5 hours to London and 6.5 from there to Senegal.
Last night I started packing, but need to do laundry before I can do much more. I might tonight while dining with Tami and Ahmed - a nearby Middle Eastern restaurant has a laundromat in the back. I had hoped to wake up early and inspired and charge out at the world with my laundry ... but alas, that is not my feeling today.
All these terms and concepts of CrimLaw are jumbled in my head ... conspiracy, attempt, solicitation, accomplice ... complete and voluntary renunciation ... for the purpose of promoting or facilitating the crime ... criminal homicide - murder is purposeful (result is the conscious object) or knowing (practically certain of the result) or the MPC felony-murder, manslaughter is reckless (conscious disregard for substantial and unjustifiable risk; grossly deviant from the normal person standard of care) or would be murder but for reasonable extreme emotional disturbance, criminal negligence (should have known of s/u risk - failure to perceives is grossly deviant from reasonable person standard of care) ... and on and on. He really does want THE EXACT WORDS. OK, if I'm actually practicing the law - then I will use THE EXACT WORDS but I will have them there to refer to and I will memorize the relevant ones! Why memorize all this garbage? It's not even a real penal code - I'll have to learn the real one for whatever jurisdiction I'm in, so this won't help me.
Yeah, I'm just bitter because I didn't start memorizing it months ago when he told us to. Right now I'm praying for the B but not feeling real strong. The only thing in my favor is that I process quickly - nobody could ever really finish one of his exams, so I'll have a little edge there that I type like a demon if fully caffeinated.
OK, this is crazy - the neighbor is running the A/C all the damn time. It's actually a little chilly out now - just OPEN A WINDOW! The problem - in addition to the annoyance I always feel when people disregard the environment for stupid reasons and waste limited resources - is that the A/C unit is RIGHT by my back door - which is the only thing I can open for some fresh air (the front door has no screen, and there are lots of flying friends out there who want to suck my blood - until I realized I couldn't leave the front door open, I spent my evenings here chasing dozens of mosquitos each evening, and would still wake up with lots of bites - and, of course, there is no window). Again, I say, he has been really a great neighbor - very considerate of my studying and everything else, and he'll bring in my mail and all that while I'm gone, and very friendly. I couldn't ask for a better neighbor - I'm not complaining about him. It's just too close.
I have several old email addresses that I rarely check, but I did this morning. Lots of junk, and then a name I recognized - a guy I hooked up with almost 7 years ago. He has LONG since been deleted from my contacts list.
First message (from most recent): Hi, sorry for that first email, my hotmail is adding addresses randomly. Hope all is well with you!
Third message (to me and a Kendra): Hi baby, hope you're doing well. Those four days stretches are a bear. Since I didn't hear from you yesterday you must have had a bad day at work - give me a call when you get a chance. Love ya, Nick"
Second message (from Kendra): Who is [my old email address] and why is she getting the same email?
I like this Kendra person. She's sharp and gets to it. And at first I thought, "What, he's ccing me to show he's got a new girl after all these years?" but no, she's a vet like him and from the tone of the email sounds like a long-time buddy. (Because I know how he emails more-than-buddies. I know it well.)
Nick bugged after awhile - we were all about magical moments in special locations, but when we tried to recapture in suburbia it was no good. We had a mild infatuation with each other which took us far too long to acknowledge - he's the man who introduced me to South Park. I thought about him last week for the first time in probably years.
OK, time to hit this day full-force.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
natural science
Could somebody please remind me why I'm not doing a biology degree?
Here's how I spent today - waiting anxiously watching for the mailman - who finally brought me the Bird Identification Guide for Gambia and Senegal! Woo hoo! I almost kissed him, and my exuberance just about knocked him backwards. Literally.
And finally identifying the damn things that have been tormenting me - http://www.pbase.com/ronnie_14187/image/37036452 This is a beautiful picture of the buck moth. They are everywhere now, I swear - trying to get into my apartment, following me, flitting around. But, everybody I ask, they have no idea what I'm talking about. They don't even see them, much less wonder about them.
Trust me - the world in my head, it's much more interesting than the world everybody else is living in. With lots of birds and orange striped moths. Stop and smell the roses is more like stop and identify the fascinating swarming insects to me.
This upcoming final - for Crim Law - will be by far the hardest. Not just because it's the least interesting to me, but because it's so much information and I'm trying to cram at the last minute. And not very motivated. I ran into Alejandra at school and she gives the best pep talks - she says that she always finished her exams first in Puerto Rico, and she did just fine.
Oh speaking of LLM students, funniest thing - I ran into the ex-roommate and she IGNORED ME. Pretended that she didn't see me at all. Walked literally RIGHT past me. Baffling. Not that I care - the longer I know the more I loathe her, but she does owe me respect after all I've done for her. But, this makes it easier - now I don't have to be nice to her.
OK, really, now I'm going to learn all about rape and gross sexual imposition and deviate sexual intercourse by force and deviate sexual intercourse by imposition. Sigh.
Here's how I spent today - waiting anxiously watching for the mailman - who finally brought me the Bird Identification Guide for Gambia and Senegal! Woo hoo! I almost kissed him, and my exuberance just about knocked him backwards. Literally.
And finally identifying the damn things that have been tormenting me - http://www.pbase.com/ronnie_14187/image/37036452 This is a beautiful picture of the buck moth. They are everywhere now, I swear - trying to get into my apartment, following me, flitting around. But, everybody I ask, they have no idea what I'm talking about. They don't even see them, much less wonder about them.
Trust me - the world in my head, it's much more interesting than the world everybody else is living in. With lots of birds and orange striped moths. Stop and smell the roses is more like stop and identify the fascinating swarming insects to me.
This upcoming final - for Crim Law - will be by far the hardest. Not just because it's the least interesting to me, but because it's so much information and I'm trying to cram at the last minute. And not very motivated. I ran into Alejandra at school and she gives the best pep talks - she says that she always finished her exams first in Puerto Rico, and she did just fine.
Oh speaking of LLM students, funniest thing - I ran into the ex-roommate and she IGNORED ME. Pretended that she didn't see me at all. Walked literally RIGHT past me. Baffling. Not that I care - the longer I know the more I loathe her, but she does owe me respect after all I've done for her. But, this makes it easier - now I don't have to be nice to her.
OK, really, now I'm going to learn all about rape and gross sexual imposition and deviate sexual intercourse by force and deviate sexual intercourse by imposition. Sigh.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
luscious vowels
After our Crim Law review, Ayanna asked if I wanted a copy of the outline that Man Who Would Be King had. Shrug. Sure.
He walked up with us to the copy room, and kept talking and I finally asked, right in the middle of him talking about something, "Where are you from?"
"Right here."
"You have a fascinating accent. The tone to your words is mesmerizing. I sometimes just look at you and hear just the sounds and don't listen to the actual words. Sorry."
He blushed deep and I'm sure, I realize now as I write that, that I scared the hell out of him.
Because what does that sound like. "Did you say something, little lady? I was too busy staring at your enormous breasts to listen to a word you said."
In my defense, I'm really tired. I don't know why, but I am. I haven't slept well. This whole being on ORegon time is taking its toll on me.
But of course not in my defense, as most people will remind me - I objectify men. I know I do, and I don't do it with my friends, but if I think a man is hot I think pretty much of just one thing and the rest, all that blah blah blah blah - it's just wasting time.
Not, of course, that I was going to do him right there on the paper cutter. Ow.
But it's also not bullshit. His voice is amazingly sonorous and rich and deep and full.
In college I sort of dated a guy who had a voice like that, but more in a Barry White sexy man kind of way. When he'd call the dorm floor phone (wow, I am old, this was LOOONG before cell phones or even phones in each room - just a pay phone for the whole floor) the girls would all rush to hear his voice. (Sort of dated? He was dating me but I was unaware of it - thought we were friends hanging out and messing around -but I got set straight eventually and still carry some guilt.)
I'll probably not be able to be friends with Man Who Would Be King - when I get past the sound, he's pretty much like all the other 22-year-old boys. But I might pretend for a while, just until I get my fill of those luscious vowels. And he still is, hands down, the absolute hottest male at First Choice Law School. Eye candy, ear candy - is a good relationship based on more??
He walked up with us to the copy room, and kept talking and I finally asked, right in the middle of him talking about something, "Where are you from?"
"Right here."
"You have a fascinating accent. The tone to your words is mesmerizing. I sometimes just look at you and hear just the sounds and don't listen to the actual words. Sorry."
He blushed deep and I'm sure, I realize now as I write that, that I scared the hell out of him.
Because what does that sound like. "Did you say something, little lady? I was too busy staring at your enormous breasts to listen to a word you said."
In my defense, I'm really tired. I don't know why, but I am. I haven't slept well. This whole being on ORegon time is taking its toll on me.
But of course not in my defense, as most people will remind me - I objectify men. I know I do, and I don't do it with my friends, but if I think a man is hot I think pretty much of just one thing and the rest, all that blah blah blah blah - it's just wasting time.
Not, of course, that I was going to do him right there on the paper cutter. Ow.
But it's also not bullshit. His voice is amazingly sonorous and rich and deep and full.
In college I sort of dated a guy who had a voice like that, but more in a Barry White sexy man kind of way. When he'd call the dorm floor phone (wow, I am old, this was LOOONG before cell phones or even phones in each room - just a pay phone for the whole floor) the girls would all rush to hear his voice. (Sort of dated? He was dating me but I was unaware of it - thought we were friends hanging out and messing around -but I got set straight eventually and still carry some guilt.)
I'll probably not be able to be friends with Man Who Would Be King - when I get past the sound, he's pretty much like all the other 22-year-old boys. But I might pretend for a while, just until I get my fill of those luscious vowels. And he still is, hands down, the absolute hottest male at First Choice Law School. Eye candy, ear candy - is a good relationship based on more??
finals week favorite feelings
Hm. Is it that I cannot be adequately fueled with good nutrition so eat tremendous amounts of junkfood to keep me going - eliminating the need for a belt and making my teeth hurt?
Or it that dirty, used feeling when I try to sell back my textbooks? For the three I tried to sell, for which I spent over $400 ... $22 received.
I'm now officially boycotting Barnes & Noble, who run the bookstore - they refuse to provide us with used textbooks to buy, and then when we sell them back we're shafted.
Or it that dirty, used feeling when I try to sell back my textbooks? For the three I tried to sell, for which I spent over $400 ... $22 received.
I'm now officially boycotting Barnes & Noble, who run the bookstore - they refuse to provide us with used textbooks to buy, and then when we sell them back we're shafted.
Monday, December 11, 2006
final finals
I don't want to curse it, but I feel like I nailed today's final in Contracts. I was feeling good about it the past couple days. My classmates were stressing and say they don't like it anymore - but what's not to like? It's offer, it's acceptance or not. It's cool.
I effed up the damages part because it was confusing and I got my dizziness back halfway through the test, making it hard to concentrate. But hopefully I did ok overall.
So, on Thursday is my LAST FINAL! In Criminal Law, my least favorite class - just because I hate reading about all the brutality and horrible things people do to each other. I'm way behind on prepping for it, but my eyes aren't focusing right so I'm not sure how I'll get it all done. But, I will.
After this time around, I know SO MUCH BETTER how to prepare for finals throughout the term. I wish I'd had a sense earlier. Oh well. If my grades bite this term, I won't get a job for the summer - but I could still bring them up to get a job next summer and after. Hopefully.
My list of things to do - everything is getting crossed off. Woo hoo! Still lots to do, but stressing doesn't help now - it's time to slide into overdrive.
I effed up the damages part because it was confusing and I got my dizziness back halfway through the test, making it hard to concentrate. But hopefully I did ok overall.
So, on Thursday is my LAST FINAL! In Criminal Law, my least favorite class - just because I hate reading about all the brutality and horrible things people do to each other. I'm way behind on prepping for it, but my eyes aren't focusing right so I'm not sure how I'll get it all done. But, I will.
After this time around, I know SO MUCH BETTER how to prepare for finals throughout the term. I wish I'd had a sense earlier. Oh well. If my grades bite this term, I won't get a job for the summer - but I could still bring them up to get a job next summer and after. Hopefully.
My list of things to do - everything is getting crossed off. Woo hoo! Still lots to do, but stressing doesn't help now - it's time to slide into overdrive.
sleeping with strangers
I got email back from the Birding Pal guy - he offered his place for me to stay with his brother-in-law and planned some fun birding excursions for us. (He's Dutch; I don't know about the brother-in-law.)
My first thought was, "Wow, people really are friendly all the world over." My second is the scolding I got last year from Jordanian Rudolf Valentino when I planned to go off for the weekend with a woman I'd met at the internet cafe. I still think that would have been fine (or a great story to tell later - because if she had been with a cell of terrorists looking to kidnap a Westerner, there's no way they would get away with that in Jordan, and the king himself would probably come save me). But, I am more cautious now through email, after living with the roommate that drove me up a wall - she didn't come across like that AT ALL in email.
So we'll meet in a public place first and I'll go with my gut.
Now time to stop playing with getting the bird list to print properly and STUDY! Sigh.
My first thought was, "Wow, people really are friendly all the world over." My second is the scolding I got last year from Jordanian Rudolf Valentino when I planned to go off for the weekend with a woman I'd met at the internet cafe. I still think that would have been fine (or a great story to tell later - because if she had been with a cell of terrorists looking to kidnap a Westerner, there's no way they would get away with that in Jordan, and the king himself would probably come save me). But, I am more cautious now through email, after living with the roommate that drove me up a wall - she didn't come across like that AT ALL in email.
So we'll meet in a public place first and I'll go with my gut.
Now time to stop playing with getting the bird list to print properly and STUDY! Sigh.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
it's Sunday
Jefferson won. Now, I know that this would not certainly be the first time a Black man was set up by law enforcement for a crime he didn't commit - but come on. There was $90,000 in his freezer. Cold cash? So, why hasn't he explained - and why hasn't the FBI indicted? Why?
I have vertigo. I leapt out of bed this morning because I heard crashing glass (not my truck, thankfully - some construction down the way), and fell over. Inner ear weirdness. Hopefully I'll sleep it off, but I can't really do much upright because I keep tilting leeward.
Pinochet died. Evil man.
My brain is full but lots more work to do. Eyes are blurry and I'm chocolate-fueled.
I decided and communicated that I won't do the test prep teaching upon return. I'm way stressed about money on several fronts, but it feels weird.
I have vertigo. I leapt out of bed this morning because I heard crashing glass (not my truck, thankfully - some construction down the way), and fell over. Inner ear weirdness. Hopefully I'll sleep it off, but I can't really do much upright because I keep tilting leeward.
Pinochet died. Evil man.
My brain is full but lots more work to do. Eyes are blurry and I'm chocolate-fueled.
I decided and communicated that I won't do the test prep teaching upon return. I'm way stressed about money on several fronts, but it feels weird.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
the struggle continues
Back many years ago in Oregon, I was pretty politically galvanized against the Oregon Citizens' Alliance. The brainchild of Lon Mabon, who had a political agenda to criminalize homosexuality, divorce, abortion (even birth control in their perfect world). He was extreme, but if people only saw one side of his message they might not realize how extreme - and OCA actually was in a position to wreak some political havoc.
I'm really not a Movement girl - I shy from groups and organizations because I will inevitably disagree. I'm a complicated mix of politics and ideologies, and no organization has ever satisfied me. I will only ever be a true believer of my strange brew of civil rights and fiscal conservatism and tolerance and love and accountability. And miscegenation. But the OCA was alarming enough that I jumped in feet-first - even pushing all my boundaries of decent human interaction - including cold calling and door-to-doors and Gay Pride kiss-ins in the mall.
They lost political momentum and I'd like to think I had a little part in that. That some elderly couple I sat at talked with had a change of heart and talked to their church friends.
Tonight was a little like that ... but not enough. I crashed Critical Resistance to hear Angela Davis speak, and the best part of the evening was watching elderly Black ministers all suited up walk in next to anarchists who haven't bathed in months. This is the heart of New Orleans. It took me back to the OCA struggle, once the Catholic church realized that OCA was about hatred and power rather than godliness and sin. There was this great march once, where the high up Catholic leadership of the region walked next to flaming dykes and fags (and yeah, I get to say that, because they were all wearing neon stickers proudly proclaiming).
I dig the grass roots, the crossing of communities, the alliances and the solidarities. That was the best part of Angela Davis's talk tonight, of uniting the South with the global south, of working with immigrant communities. Solidarity, my sisters and my brothers.
But some things I realized - first, Angela Davis's father was a teacher who gave it up because it was impossible to make a living and ran a gas station. I can relate. The other? She's 62 and she looks damn good. Living your conscience can reduce wrinkles.
I'm really not a Movement girl - I shy from groups and organizations because I will inevitably disagree. I'm a complicated mix of politics and ideologies, and no organization has ever satisfied me. I will only ever be a true believer of my strange brew of civil rights and fiscal conservatism and tolerance and love and accountability. And miscegenation. But the OCA was alarming enough that I jumped in feet-first - even pushing all my boundaries of decent human interaction - including cold calling and door-to-doors and Gay Pride kiss-ins in the mall.
They lost political momentum and I'd like to think I had a little part in that. That some elderly couple I sat at talked with had a change of heart and talked to their church friends.
Tonight was a little like that ... but not enough. I crashed Critical Resistance to hear Angela Davis speak, and the best part of the evening was watching elderly Black ministers all suited up walk in next to anarchists who haven't bathed in months. This is the heart of New Orleans. It took me back to the OCA struggle, once the Catholic church realized that OCA was about hatred and power rather than godliness and sin. There was this great march once, where the high up Catholic leadership of the region walked next to flaming dykes and fags (and yeah, I get to say that, because they were all wearing neon stickers proudly proclaiming).
I dig the grass roots, the crossing of communities, the alliances and the solidarities. That was the best part of Angela Davis's talk tonight, of uniting the South with the global south, of working with immigrant communities. Solidarity, my sisters and my brothers.
But some things I realized - first, Angela Davis's father was a teacher who gave it up because it was impossible to make a living and ran a gas station. I can relate. The other? She's 62 and she looks damn good. Living your conscience can reduce wrinkles.
morally righteous
I got to vote AGAIN - it's a nice little walk from here to stroll on over. It was an easy one - just for the run-offs for Representative. Hm ... the guy who's been there for two decades and got busted in an FBI sting with 90K in his freezer? Or a woman? Since my feminist license got revoked yesterday, I'm working to earn it back.
Lalo graduated today! Woo hoo! He'll enter a teacher credentialing program in the summer, but he's off to "just" work until then - it's taken him a long-ass time to get here, so he's of course very excited. And Michele should be finishing up this spring, too - all my friends are gettin schooled! Woo hoo!
Lalo graduated today! Woo hoo! He'll enter a teacher credentialing program in the summer, but he's off to "just" work until then - it's taken him a long-ass time to get here, so he's of course very excited. And Michele should be finishing up this spring, too - all my friends are gettin schooled! Woo hoo!
Friday, December 08, 2006
revoked feminist license
Today in the Contracts review session (where he AGAIN called me by my first name IN FRONT OF PEOPLE - how scandalous!!) I asked if we needed to know the cases by names.
"OK, so instead of Ricketts v. Scothorn, I could say, 'That case with the girl whose grandfather offered her -' "
"No," the Dean of the Law School interrupted. "Because of course she is not a girl, she's a woman."
"Oh, how old was she?" I realize I'm losing fast because I know this fight well - AND I'M ALWAYS ON THE OTHER SIDE.
"I don't care how old she was; she was out in the world working and therefore an adult and therefore a woman, not a girl. Look at the restroom signs - they say women, not ladies, not girls - and ..."
There was no way to recover, so I kept loudly apologizing as the lecture went on and on.
Then the Boy That All Professors Ridicule raised his hand and said, "But, isn't it contextually correct, since the case is from 1913, and they called her girl in the opinion?"
I almost kissed him, because I don't know if it was nicer for him to deflect attention from me or to try to justify my misspeak. Especially when I haven't been particularly warm to him - having snubbed his attempts to get me to join study groups.
My feminist license is revoked for today. ME. Of all people. *I* got called to the carpet on THIS.
Shocking and horrifying, and shows the level of stress I'm under, I guess.
Sigh. My head is hung in shame and he stopped calling me by my first name.
"OK, so instead of Ricketts v. Scothorn, I could say, 'That case with the girl whose grandfather offered her -' "
"No," the Dean of the Law School interrupted. "Because of course she is not a girl, she's a woman."
"Oh, how old was she?" I realize I'm losing fast because I know this fight well - AND I'M ALWAYS ON THE OTHER SIDE.
"I don't care how old she was; she was out in the world working and therefore an adult and therefore a woman, not a girl. Look at the restroom signs - they say women, not ladies, not girls - and ..."
There was no way to recover, so I kept loudly apologizing as the lecture went on and on.
Then the Boy That All Professors Ridicule raised his hand and said, "But, isn't it contextually correct, since the case is from 1913, and they called her girl in the opinion?"
I almost kissed him, because I don't know if it was nicer for him to deflect attention from me or to try to justify my misspeak. Especially when I haven't been particularly warm to him - having snubbed his attempts to get me to join study groups.
My feminist license is revoked for today. ME. Of all people. *I* got called to the carpet on THIS.
Shocking and horrifying, and shows the level of stress I'm under, I guess.
Sigh. My head is hung in shame and he stopped calling me by my first name.
the High Priestess
Whom do I hate today?
Is it the electricians above my head? With loud noises, flickering electricity, and racial innuendos? They were actually smoking up there until I pitched a huge fit. Who the hell thinks it's appropriate to smoke inside somebody's house?
Or the people who call and don't leave messages? If I know who it is, that's fine - but a number that is vaguely familiar and not in my phone book - it bugs. Because I'm not answering - it could be crazy ex-landlord or somebody else I don't want to talk to - but hope it wasn't important.
They're both in the running. And don't even get me started about Dayton right now. He is so on that bad list. I know I'm an intense person with lots of irons in the fire and moving at "Mach-[ME]" - but good grief man KEEP UP! And if I say something, especially more than once, DO NOT IGNORE IT! And do not, under any circumstances, attempt to patronize or condescend to me. Much less pressure me, when the only reason there's pressure is because YOU slacked! Don't change your mind and expect me to read your mind.
Sigh.
But, I feel way cool as a problem solver. My gas stove's electricity is shut off, which apparently is the igniter. At first I stared at it not ignite. And then, I thought, "Matches." It worked.
Barring that, I was ready to haul out my Jet boil. Because it is OH SO AWESOME and I've missed it.
My sleep schedule is on Oregon time - I'm not rolling into bed until midnight and not up until 8:00. This is two full hours later than usual for me. I guess I won't worry about it until next semester when I have 8:30 class again - it's just that it makes my brain foggy. Shrug.
Man, Contracts exam is gonna kick my ass. I can't study here at home (see above about loud electricians) and I know if I go to library that I'll just end up socializing until my review session in two hours. What's a girl to do?
Make another cup of coffee and head into school. At least I'll be in good company.
Blond Louisiana Boy and I have decided to start our own religion - the key precept is Karma, but we'll also attempt Buddhist enlightenment (with acceptance for impure bodies and spirits - we are law students, after all) and AA steps to progress rather than perfection. I may not be the goddess that my 8th graders used to call me, but at least I'll be a High Priestess.
And let's just say that everybody on today's bad list is damn lucky there won't be voodoo in our religion.
Is it the electricians above my head? With loud noises, flickering electricity, and racial innuendos? They were actually smoking up there until I pitched a huge fit. Who the hell thinks it's appropriate to smoke inside somebody's house?
Or the people who call and don't leave messages? If I know who it is, that's fine - but a number that is vaguely familiar and not in my phone book - it bugs. Because I'm not answering - it could be crazy ex-landlord or somebody else I don't want to talk to - but hope it wasn't important.
They're both in the running. And don't even get me started about Dayton right now. He is so on that bad list. I know I'm an intense person with lots of irons in the fire and moving at "Mach-[ME]" - but good grief man KEEP UP! And if I say something, especially more than once, DO NOT IGNORE IT! And do not, under any circumstances, attempt to patronize or condescend to me. Much less pressure me, when the only reason there's pressure is because YOU slacked! Don't change your mind and expect me to read your mind.
Sigh.
But, I feel way cool as a problem solver. My gas stove's electricity is shut off, which apparently is the igniter. At first I stared at it not ignite. And then, I thought, "Matches." It worked.
Barring that, I was ready to haul out my Jet boil. Because it is OH SO AWESOME and I've missed it.
My sleep schedule is on Oregon time - I'm not rolling into bed until midnight and not up until 8:00. This is two full hours later than usual for me. I guess I won't worry about it until next semester when I have 8:30 class again - it's just that it makes my brain foggy. Shrug.
Man, Contracts exam is gonna kick my ass. I can't study here at home (see above about loud electricians) and I know if I go to library that I'll just end up socializing until my review session in two hours. What's a girl to do?
Make another cup of coffee and head into school. At least I'll be in good company.
Blond Louisiana Boy and I have decided to start our own religion - the key precept is Karma, but we'll also attempt Buddhist enlightenment (with acceptance for impure bodies and spirits - we are law students, after all) and AA steps to progress rather than perfection. I may not be the goddess that my 8th graders used to call me, but at least I'll be a High Priestess.
And let's just say that everybody on today's bad list is damn lucky there won't be voodoo in our religion.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
worst nightmare
I missed most of this because I was chatting, but I heard a "riiip!" and then a rush out the door, loud because the guy missed the door that was open and tried to force open the locked door.
He had on those sweatpants with snaps up the sides, and they had come unsnapped on both sides and fallen off. Yeah, he was basically naked on the most important day of law school. Whose worst nightmare is that not?
The guy who was sitting behind me and looks like an Amish farmer filled us in. The guy actually came back and was able to laugh about it. "Yeah, I'd be happier just sitting around in my boxers taking the test, but I thought it might be distracting. Didn't want to horrify anybody."
That's class. Well, or at least my classmates.
He had on those sweatpants with snaps up the sides, and they had come unsnapped on both sides and fallen off. Yeah, he was basically naked on the most important day of law school. Whose worst nightmare is that not?
The guy who was sitting behind me and looks like an Amish farmer filled us in. The guy actually came back and was able to laugh about it. "Yeah, I'd be happier just sitting around in my boxers taking the test, but I thought it might be distracting. Didn't want to horrify anybody."
That's class. Well, or at least my classmates.
awesome news!
Tami is officially pregnant! Woo hoo! Due July 21st ... which could go either to Cancer (my Selma is a Cancer, and Susan) or Leo (Michele and Dayton). Clearly good people in either category! She can't go wrong!
So now I do need to get Dayton here and have a baby so I can get the baby hand-me-downs. :) And Ayanna and I were just talking today about how her mother-in-law-to-be wants to watch their kids, so I was like, "Let's plan it together and she can watch 'em both!"
NOT that I'm planning on having kids. But I'm getting to that now-or-never place. Somebody said, "Can you imagine having a baby when in LAW SCHOOL?!" and I was like, yeah, so what? Worse when working.
And, my exams are now half over. Two more to go - the ones I'm TOTALLY not prepared for. But, I'll start tonight, and review session tomorrow, and then a jaunt to Slidell to visit the Salems and Waffle House, and then a long hard weekend ahead of studying. Shrug.
Today's exam was also too easy, so we're all screwed except the couple of people who knew how to write it just right for him. Remember, only 65% can get B's or above, so on too-easy tests, the people getting C's may have done just as well as a B but got graded too late in the pile. That totally sucks. But I'll use those kinds of thoughts to keep me on this side of suicidal once grades are in.
The people I studied with yesterday were giving me a hard time today, saying that if I didn't get an A nobody could, and I was like, are you KIDDING ME? I mean, usually in classes I do get things more easily than other people, but not at law school. So then ... I need a nickname for him ... said, yeah, but then I could at least say it to him like I know what I'm talking about - and maybe that's the trick right there that I'm counting on - that my writing is strong enough to convey the points I make, and I can sort of buffalo through what I don't. The problem is on these easy tests, there's not much buffaloing.
OK, time to do some errands and then come on back for studying. Woo.
So now I do need to get Dayton here and have a baby so I can get the baby hand-me-downs. :) And Ayanna and I were just talking today about how her mother-in-law-to-be wants to watch their kids, so I was like, "Let's plan it together and she can watch 'em both!"
NOT that I'm planning on having kids. But I'm getting to that now-or-never place. Somebody said, "Can you imagine having a baby when in LAW SCHOOL?!" and I was like, yeah, so what? Worse when working.
And, my exams are now half over. Two more to go - the ones I'm TOTALLY not prepared for. But, I'll start tonight, and review session tomorrow, and then a jaunt to Slidell to visit the Salems and Waffle House, and then a long hard weekend ahead of studying. Shrug.
Today's exam was also too easy, so we're all screwed except the couple of people who knew how to write it just right for him. Remember, only 65% can get B's or above, so on too-easy tests, the people getting C's may have done just as well as a B but got graded too late in the pile. That totally sucks. But I'll use those kinds of thoughts to keep me on this side of suicidal once grades are in.
The people I studied with yesterday were giving me a hard time today, saying that if I didn't get an A nobody could, and I was like, are you KIDDING ME? I mean, usually in classes I do get things more easily than other people, but not at law school. So then ... I need a nickname for him ... said, yeah, but then I could at least say it to him like I know what I'm talking about - and maybe that's the trick right there that I'm counting on - that my writing is strong enough to convey the points I make, and I can sort of buffalo through what I don't. The problem is on these easy tests, there's not much buffaloing.
OK, time to do some errands and then come on back for studying. Woo.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
socializing, I mean studying
I found my New Orleans food friend. We eat together, it's our thing. Jenny, I just wait for the day years from now that she says, "Better friendships are based on less." Today after eating lunch and then snacking we went looking for crepes but instead crashed a reception with tasty tortellini and chocolate mousse.
There is no place to study with another person at school because EVERYBODY is there. And they're all wandering the halls looking to chat.
Today I finally had my first conversation with Man Who Could Be King (the extremely good-looking young man with a voice that gets me hot like MLK) - and he stressed me out BIG TIME. He's in my Civ Pro class, and he told me all he wrote on the exam and I'm like - hell, I don't remember doing most of that. I need to STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. But here's the thing - while he didn't do it with me, with other Black guys, he did the handshake snap. I just about fell off my chair - it was like I was back with Liberians. I said to Twists Girl, "That makes me feel like I'm home" - which is very strange considering I've never even been to Liberia.
And the other Black guy (because, yeah, there's only two in all my classes) FINALLY likes me. He no longer avoids eye contact with me and will even give me a hard time. We had quality study time today - which I still don't understand. Really - all that we did, if focused, fit in about 15 minutes.
But, the benefits are there because I'm finally Black. I've tried so hard for so long, and now it's finally come true.
That's the only conclusion I can reach. In our school, all the Black kids hang and all the White kids hang. Far fewer of the former are at the school, and there's a camraderie. I walked past some study rooms, and it was all Black or all White. So, if I'm with the Black kids, then I have to be Black, too. It's the only logical conclusion.
Don't get me wrong - the White kids are nice to me too. Maybe because they can't see I'm Black. But there's something a little strange about them. And many of them will stop being nice to me when they see who I choose to be with. Others, however, have only started being nice to me.
It is so fucking crazy. But, I'm like, bring it on. I want somebody to make some kind of comment to me, because that would so be Go Time. Instead, it's just looks. That's what Twists Girl said, how people look at her funny - I'm starting to see it.
But I see the line drawn in the sand and I'm saying "Hey, you want to draw a stupid line in the sand, then I'm over here! Where you don't expect me! Haha!"
Because it's about who I feel more comfortable with. I don't remember the last time I felt comfortable in a room full of white people. It's been a long time. Unless they're way cool White people - I mean, of course I have white friends - but almost all of them are currently in or have been in serious relationships with people from other cultures.
Because who you sleep with - it's political. And I think I'll start the National Pro-Miscegenation Party.
Do I try hard because I think how my stepchildren will be Black (if Dayton removes his head from his posterior)? Maybe, but I doubt it. It's baser than that.
I'm kind of an outsider. I always have been. I've always associated with the inner circle, but never wanted to belong. I appreciate other outsiders - I like the scrappiness and courage to keep showing up. And the best thing my parents ever instilled in me was a real indignity at the concept of racism. It just pisses me off. I don't care about it making sense or working within its realities - it makes me mad and it makes me want to bust 'caps. Which means that eventually cool people of different backgrounds realize I'm cool and they introduce me to their inner circle (here, it was K), and I'm integrated. Next thing I know I'm playing mah jong and asked to be a madrina.
Tomorrow = Torts final. And it will be nasty. Shrug. If I could just set my sights a little lower - like being happy to be getting a "B" - then I could worry less. Because the worrying isn't getting me any closer to prepared.
There is no place to study with another person at school because EVERYBODY is there. And they're all wandering the halls looking to chat.
Today I finally had my first conversation with Man Who Could Be King (the extremely good-looking young man with a voice that gets me hot like MLK) - and he stressed me out BIG TIME. He's in my Civ Pro class, and he told me all he wrote on the exam and I'm like - hell, I don't remember doing most of that. I need to STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. But here's the thing - while he didn't do it with me, with other Black guys, he did the handshake snap. I just about fell off my chair - it was like I was back with Liberians. I said to Twists Girl, "That makes me feel like I'm home" - which is very strange considering I've never even been to Liberia.
And the other Black guy (because, yeah, there's only two in all my classes) FINALLY likes me. He no longer avoids eye contact with me and will even give me a hard time. We had quality study time today - which I still don't understand. Really - all that we did, if focused, fit in about 15 minutes.
But, the benefits are there because I'm finally Black. I've tried so hard for so long, and now it's finally come true.
That's the only conclusion I can reach. In our school, all the Black kids hang and all the White kids hang. Far fewer of the former are at the school, and there's a camraderie. I walked past some study rooms, and it was all Black or all White. So, if I'm with the Black kids, then I have to be Black, too. It's the only logical conclusion.
Don't get me wrong - the White kids are nice to me too. Maybe because they can't see I'm Black. But there's something a little strange about them. And many of them will stop being nice to me when they see who I choose to be with. Others, however, have only started being nice to me.
It is so fucking crazy. But, I'm like, bring it on. I want somebody to make some kind of comment to me, because that would so be Go Time. Instead, it's just looks. That's what Twists Girl said, how people look at her funny - I'm starting to see it.
But I see the line drawn in the sand and I'm saying "Hey, you want to draw a stupid line in the sand, then I'm over here! Where you don't expect me! Haha!"
Because it's about who I feel more comfortable with. I don't remember the last time I felt comfortable in a room full of white people. It's been a long time. Unless they're way cool White people - I mean, of course I have white friends - but almost all of them are currently in or have been in serious relationships with people from other cultures.
Because who you sleep with - it's political. And I think I'll start the National Pro-Miscegenation Party.
Do I try hard because I think how my stepchildren will be Black (if Dayton removes his head from his posterior)? Maybe, but I doubt it. It's baser than that.
I'm kind of an outsider. I always have been. I've always associated with the inner circle, but never wanted to belong. I appreciate other outsiders - I like the scrappiness and courage to keep showing up. And the best thing my parents ever instilled in me was a real indignity at the concept of racism. It just pisses me off. I don't care about it making sense or working within its realities - it makes me mad and it makes me want to bust 'caps. Which means that eventually cool people of different backgrounds realize I'm cool and they introduce me to their inner circle (here, it was K), and I'm integrated. Next thing I know I'm playing mah jong and asked to be a madrina.
Tomorrow = Torts final. And it will be nasty. Shrug. If I could just set my sights a little lower - like being happy to be getting a "B" - then I could worry less. Because the worrying isn't getting me any closer to prepared.
advantages of being a public school teacher
Pay raises are automatic and based on experience and education qualifications. It's all clear and transparent.
Love it.
I'm trying to negotiate with Test Prep Dictator (I like her better now, but she is a dictator) for a raise - she's saying policy is not after just one class. I'm saying, well, that's not what I was told, and why not, since I got 100% excellence rating and they rave about me? I'm a professional, not some college kid trying to make a few extra bucks, and I believe I should be compensated accordingly.
The problem of course is that there's a pay ceiling - they're not going to pay me what I earn as a professional because it's not that kind of job. And I knew that when I took it. But I'll still work the angle.
Students are happy when I'm teaching; they complain about some other teachers. Students transferred into my class from other classes. I got all "excellent" ratings from all students. *I* don't even give excellent ratings to excellent professors. They're nicer than me. They said I'm the key factor in their success. I disagree, but if it's what they believe, then I should get paid for it.
So the question then is - will I still do it if I don't get a raise? Will I dig in my heels and refuse, only to come back groveling later when I'm bored or need money?
I don't much like free evenings, and especially not once I move and can't just walk over to campus for meetings and studying and working out.
It's not a bad job, and I found it usually enjoyable, but there was a moment a couple weeks back where I was like, "This job is bullshit. They are paying $1,300 per person to have their scores increase maybe a few points if they spend hours and hours working." So, let's see, I had 9 students at $1,300 each = $11,700. I made a total, including all the training, of about $1,300. Next time will be closer to $600 because no paid time for prep and no training.
It's a sham - them making $10K per class when the students only really see me. They're paying the director and the administration and the office staff - but they make only $8/hour and I'm sure director isn't rolling in cash. There's a huge profit margin somewhere. Of course there's a ton of effort put into preparing the materials - but my teachers edition sucked.
Which would all be fine if I were still fired up and ready to prostitute myself to do whatever it takes to get Dayton and the girls here.
But I'm not so fired up. I'm tired of doing the work of three people for the credit of none.
So the real question now is - will it be boring and depressing to me to sit at home in the evenings, or will I really relish the opportunity to read for fun? Will I really study more if I'm not working? Will that help my grades? Will I have more opportunity to volunteer doing some legal work?
Time is elastic - the busier I am, the more I get done. If I have time to squander meaninglessly, I will squander.
And money is elastic too. Will $600 improve the quality of my life? (More like $400 after taxes I guess.)
Speaking of time squandering, oh good, Twists Girl just emailed and we're going to lunch soon. Time to pack up now and head to campus after that - I have a list a mile long of things to do, and a 4:00 with my Torts prof.
This, now, where I don't have a million things to do - I like it. I like focusing. But I only like it for a week or two.
I guess if I don't work I could do other things like the birdwatching organization I just found, and other interests. Hm. It's just ... it means I don't have the income to prove that I can support Dayton and it screws us - but it wasn't really enough income anyway. I just don't know what to do (which he is WAY sick of hearing me say).
Love it.
I'm trying to negotiate with Test Prep Dictator (I like her better now, but she is a dictator) for a raise - she's saying policy is not after just one class. I'm saying, well, that's not what I was told, and why not, since I got 100% excellence rating and they rave about me? I'm a professional, not some college kid trying to make a few extra bucks, and I believe I should be compensated accordingly.
The problem of course is that there's a pay ceiling - they're not going to pay me what I earn as a professional because it's not that kind of job. And I knew that when I took it. But I'll still work the angle.
Students are happy when I'm teaching; they complain about some other teachers. Students transferred into my class from other classes. I got all "excellent" ratings from all students. *I* don't even give excellent ratings to excellent professors. They're nicer than me. They said I'm the key factor in their success. I disagree, but if it's what they believe, then I should get paid for it.
So the question then is - will I still do it if I don't get a raise? Will I dig in my heels and refuse, only to come back groveling later when I'm bored or need money?
I don't much like free evenings, and especially not once I move and can't just walk over to campus for meetings and studying and working out.
It's not a bad job, and I found it usually enjoyable, but there was a moment a couple weeks back where I was like, "This job is bullshit. They are paying $1,300 per person to have their scores increase maybe a few points if they spend hours and hours working." So, let's see, I had 9 students at $1,300 each = $11,700. I made a total, including all the training, of about $1,300. Next time will be closer to $600 because no paid time for prep and no training.
It's a sham - them making $10K per class when the students only really see me. They're paying the director and the administration and the office staff - but they make only $8/hour and I'm sure director isn't rolling in cash. There's a huge profit margin somewhere. Of course there's a ton of effort put into preparing the materials - but my teachers edition sucked.
Which would all be fine if I were still fired up and ready to prostitute myself to do whatever it takes to get Dayton and the girls here.
But I'm not so fired up. I'm tired of doing the work of three people for the credit of none.
So the real question now is - will it be boring and depressing to me to sit at home in the evenings, or will I really relish the opportunity to read for fun? Will I really study more if I'm not working? Will that help my grades? Will I have more opportunity to volunteer doing some legal work?
Time is elastic - the busier I am, the more I get done. If I have time to squander meaninglessly, I will squander.
And money is elastic too. Will $600 improve the quality of my life? (More like $400 after taxes I guess.)
Speaking of time squandering, oh good, Twists Girl just emailed and we're going to lunch soon. Time to pack up now and head to campus after that - I have a list a mile long of things to do, and a 4:00 with my Torts prof.
This, now, where I don't have a million things to do - I like it. I like focusing. But I only like it for a week or two.
I guess if I don't work I could do other things like the birdwatching organization I just found, and other interests. Hm. It's just ... it means I don't have the income to prove that I can support Dayton and it screws us - but it wasn't really enough income anyway. I just don't know what to do (which he is WAY sick of hearing me say).
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
it gives me what I need
I finally bought a dresser - yay!
Craigslist beckoned me, like it so often does. I probably overpaid ($100, he asked $125, I bargained a little I guess), but it's real wood. I really didn't want particle board crap because of fumes and breakage and all that. This is no fancy dresser, not teak or anything - it's probably thin pine, probably handmade. But, once I scrub it down, it'll work. It fits just perfectly into the remaining inches I had left.
I was looking at KMart, and I could have gotten something cheaper there on sale (though, not after taxes) and it would be new. But, then I would have to put it together and besides, it goes against my conscience to buy new if I don't have to. I've been lurking on furniture on CL for weeks now, and then it was there.
What doesn't CL supply me with?
So, I got asked to teach test prep again as soon as I get back, three days a week for six weeks. I asked her if I get a raise, haven't heard back. All these decisions, they're very difficult. Will I get a summer job? Most 1L's don't. What will happen in Jenny's movie (that is - Dayton and me)?
Annoying stalker girl asked me last week if I was planning on transferring. Why would I come here if I planned on transferring? Stupid question. And then she went on to try to describe the kind of person I am. I hate that.
So anyway, at least that's one less thing to decide.
Craigslist beckoned me, like it so often does. I probably overpaid ($100, he asked $125, I bargained a little I guess), but it's real wood. I really didn't want particle board crap because of fumes and breakage and all that. This is no fancy dresser, not teak or anything - it's probably thin pine, probably handmade. But, once I scrub it down, it'll work. It fits just perfectly into the remaining inches I had left.
I was looking at KMart, and I could have gotten something cheaper there on sale (though, not after taxes) and it would be new. But, then I would have to put it together and besides, it goes against my conscience to buy new if I don't have to. I've been lurking on furniture on CL for weeks now, and then it was there.
What doesn't CL supply me with?
So, I got asked to teach test prep again as soon as I get back, three days a week for six weeks. I asked her if I get a raise, haven't heard back. All these decisions, they're very difficult. Will I get a summer job? Most 1L's don't. What will happen in Jenny's movie (that is - Dayton and me)?
Annoying stalker girl asked me last week if I was planning on transferring. Why would I come here if I planned on transferring? Stupid question. And then she went on to try to describe the kind of person I am. I hate that.
So anyway, at least that's one less thing to decide.
Monday, December 04, 2006
one other thing
I know, it's probably already tedious to hear about all the nice things my classmates say and do. But, when I went into one room looking for Twists Girl and this guy followed me in and said quietly behind me, "[Insert Name here}, I think we're in room 357" - that was when I realized how lucky I am. Again.
The first person I saw today? Cute Blond Louisiana Boy. As I walked to the final he was driving and slowed down to shout out at me.
Then the last person from school? Son of DPI and walked out together - it was late and dark and I didn't want to walk alone. Along the way, every person I asked where they were going to see if they wanted an escort also, they all offered me a ride. Son of DPI was having a party tonight, and I know I can come any time he does, but he doesn't directly invite me anymore because I don't want to.
We're a community of people looking out for each other. This one guy who asked, we've only ever spoken once. We're in a class together, but every time I'm around he gets really shy or something. Maybe because I'm white, I dunno. But damn it, I will make him like me. I was going to walk out with him, but he was in totally the wrong direction. And I talked to two women today for the first time - we were in classes together but never spoke. And now we're part of the same circle. They may be next to guide me to the right classroom or send me unsolicited study materials or offer me a ride or make me laugh.
I don't know if it's the South or what, but I like it, how we look out for each other. One woman was giving everybody hugs today before the test. I of course stepped out of line for that action, but it was really a nice gesture.
I remember in my undergrad years in Oregon, we had this visiting prof from Russia who asked the class one day where somebody was. We looked at each other - how the hell would we know? And I thought he was weird at the time, to expect us to talk to each other or know each others' names. There were probably 10 of us.
Now I think that's weird.
We are a community here, and we will look out for each other. I guess this is the school spirit I never really had before.
I'm still staying in my protective bubble and stopping short of socializing with most people, but it's nice that they let me be on the periphery like that. No forced compliance, no enforced agenda.
That I'm able to say nice things about my law school during finals - well, it's pretty amazing.
The first person I saw today? Cute Blond Louisiana Boy. As I walked to the final he was driving and slowed down to shout out at me.
Then the last person from school? Son of DPI and walked out together - it was late and dark and I didn't want to walk alone. Along the way, every person I asked where they were going to see if they wanted an escort also, they all offered me a ride. Son of DPI was having a party tonight, and I know I can come any time he does, but he doesn't directly invite me anymore because I don't want to.
We're a community of people looking out for each other. This one guy who asked, we've only ever spoken once. We're in a class together, but every time I'm around he gets really shy or something. Maybe because I'm white, I dunno. But damn it, I will make him like me. I was going to walk out with him, but he was in totally the wrong direction. And I talked to two women today for the first time - we were in classes together but never spoke. And now we're part of the same circle. They may be next to guide me to the right classroom or send me unsolicited study materials or offer me a ride or make me laugh.
I don't know if it's the South or what, but I like it, how we look out for each other. One woman was giving everybody hugs today before the test. I of course stepped out of line for that action, but it was really a nice gesture.
I remember in my undergrad years in Oregon, we had this visiting prof from Russia who asked the class one day where somebody was. We looked at each other - how the hell would we know? And I thought he was weird at the time, to expect us to talk to each other or know each others' names. There were probably 10 of us.
Now I think that's weird.
We are a community here, and we will look out for each other. I guess this is the school spirit I never really had before.
I'm still staying in my protective bubble and stopping short of socializing with most people, but it's nice that they let me be on the periphery like that. No forced compliance, no enforced agenda.
That I'm able to say nice things about my law school during finals - well, it's pretty amazing.
one down
Civ Pro final wasn't painful. It was four hours of moderate fun.
The only problem is it was pretty easy. Which means the curve will be tight - and every little mistake will count BIG. Which, I know there were lots of mistakes. Son of DPI says, "We're fine, there are lots of stupid people in our class," but I think he's wrong. And mean. But he already known he's misanthropic, so we just laugh.
Mostly, it's over.
Then I went and met the woman whose house I might live in starting in March while she travels the world. She's a lawyer, and she says I'll actually use all those Rules I learned. Good. Because I think I made sense of them - just, please, no more stupid hypotheticals about raw milk cheese or nannies or gun manufacturers named Darma.
Thursday is Torts. I think my plan is to read the 500-page supplement I have, to review my notes, review Smart-Smart Man's notes, and look at exams from other profs (this prof has not ever taught the class before). And I told the prof I'd come see him, but maybe not.
Then next week, Monday is Contracts. That will be hard because I haven't done much to prepare. Then Thursday will be Crim Law, and there's lots to memorize for that. At least both of those have some practice exams I can play with. No answers, but at least I can peruse the exams. Then, Friday I leave for Senegal. Wow. 11 days. I'm SO NOT PREPARED.
But it's freakin freezing here (literally, below freezing) so I think I'll make some hot chocolate and crawl into bed with a sexy Torts book. I'm kind of liking this serial monogamy thing of finals studying. Usually I spend a couple hours with each of the subjects, but this time, I get to really focus on one - until I toss him aside and move on to the next.
Oh, so I think if she'll have me I'll do the house thing. It'd be less money, even with gas money figured in, there's a washer and dryer, and it's a cute, clean house that I like. It has a good energy flow, like my house that I used to have. It's in a nice neighborhood - real family (with holiday decorating wars), and conveniently located. It'll be about a 10 minute drive to the shuttle to school, or to where I live now and where I can walk from. So, she said to let her know when I know 100%. It is just hard to leave a couple things here - my landlady and neighbor (who invited me in for wine tonight) are both so nice, and not having to drive. But, I don't feel settled here, and I want a window. There, I'd have numerous windows. It wouldn't be "mine" but it would work for the 6-12 months she plans to travel. With my penchant for moving, that would be good timing.
Yawn. Long day.
The only problem is it was pretty easy. Which means the curve will be tight - and every little mistake will count BIG. Which, I know there were lots of mistakes. Son of DPI says, "We're fine, there are lots of stupid people in our class," but I think he's wrong. And mean. But he already known he's misanthropic, so we just laugh.
Mostly, it's over.
Then I went and met the woman whose house I might live in starting in March while she travels the world. She's a lawyer, and she says I'll actually use all those Rules I learned. Good. Because I think I made sense of them - just, please, no more stupid hypotheticals about raw milk cheese or nannies or gun manufacturers named Darma.
Thursday is Torts. I think my plan is to read the 500-page supplement I have, to review my notes, review Smart-Smart Man's notes, and look at exams from other profs (this prof has not ever taught the class before). And I told the prof I'd come see him, but maybe not.
Then next week, Monday is Contracts. That will be hard because I haven't done much to prepare. Then Thursday will be Crim Law, and there's lots to memorize for that. At least both of those have some practice exams I can play with. No answers, but at least I can peruse the exams. Then, Friday I leave for Senegal. Wow. 11 days. I'm SO NOT PREPARED.
But it's freakin freezing here (literally, below freezing) so I think I'll make some hot chocolate and crawl into bed with a sexy Torts book. I'm kind of liking this serial monogamy thing of finals studying. Usually I spend a couple hours with each of the subjects, but this time, I get to really focus on one - until I toss him aside and move on to the next.
Oh, so I think if she'll have me I'll do the house thing. It'd be less money, even with gas money figured in, there's a washer and dryer, and it's a cute, clean house that I like. It has a good energy flow, like my house that I used to have. It's in a nice neighborhood - real family (with holiday decorating wars), and conveniently located. It'll be about a 10 minute drive to the shuttle to school, or to where I live now and where I can walk from. So, she said to let her know when I know 100%. It is just hard to leave a couple things here - my landlady and neighbor (who invited me in for wine tonight) are both so nice, and not having to drive. But, I don't feel settled here, and I want a window. There, I'd have numerous windows. It wouldn't be "mine" but it would work for the 6-12 months she plans to travel. With my penchant for moving, that would be good timing.
Yawn. Long day.
law school of nice
And here is the response from Smart-Smart Man (whom I asked if it's ok that I use his outline that he sent to somebody else who forwarded them on to me).
Where are the crazy people who slice pages from books? Who trample their classmates to get ahead? Who lie cheat and steal to bump themselves up the curve?
They must have gone to other schools.
Or, the little protective bubble I've placed myself in really works. Being polite to everybody and only associating with nice people; being removed from all drama and strife. There may be horrible things going on, but I am blissfully unaware of them all.
(Also, my landlady called; she arranged for me to be able to park in the neighboring driveway so I'm off the street. And she thanked me for being such a good tenant. I do still want to move, if only for a window, but she is the best.)
(Also, I couldn't sleep last night and I have a splitting headache now . I have to go to Civ Pro final in about 4.5 hours and I'm trying to read a 600 page book and look over 20 exam answers before then. The thing is that my performance is hit or miss - I'm usually pretty right in my understanding of the issues [the prof said I have good intuition - but it's that I learned it by being there every day and doing all the reading], but I do leave things out and sometimes I overthink the answers. Do a fairness factor analysis? Why? Sometimes I skip over the "obvious." So, it's a matter of luck for me - if he asks the questions in a way that will trigger all the different aspects I need to address without doubting myself.)
The email:
"Thank you for the compliment, the recognition of the fact that my name rhymes, and for the very decent gesture of requesting to look at the outline. Incidentally, I have always appreciated your insights in class as well. You are certainly more than welcome to use the outline at your convenience. Again, I would emphasize that it is a relatively basic summation of what I think the vital rules of the course were, but if it is of any use to you, I am glad to help. If there are any ambiguities, please feel free to let me know.
I wish you the very best of luck on all of your exams."
Where are the crazy people who slice pages from books? Who trample their classmates to get ahead? Who lie cheat and steal to bump themselves up the curve?
They must have gone to other schools.
Or, the little protective bubble I've placed myself in really works. Being polite to everybody and only associating with nice people; being removed from all drama and strife. There may be horrible things going on, but I am blissfully unaware of them all.
(Also, my landlady called; she arranged for me to be able to park in the neighboring driveway so I'm off the street. And she thanked me for being such a good tenant. I do still want to move, if only for a window, but she is the best.)
(Also, I couldn't sleep last night and I have a splitting headache now . I have to go to Civ Pro final in about 4.5 hours and I'm trying to read a 600 page book and look over 20 exam answers before then. The thing is that my performance is hit or miss - I'm usually pretty right in my understanding of the issues [the prof said I have good intuition - but it's that I learned it by being there every day and doing all the reading], but I do leave things out and sometimes I overthink the answers. Do a fairness factor analysis? Why? Sometimes I skip over the "obvious." So, it's a matter of luck for me - if he asks the questions in a way that will trigger all the different aspects I need to address without doubting myself.)
The email:
"Thank you for the compliment, the recognition of the fact that my name rhymes, and for the very decent gesture of requesting to look at the outline. Incidentally, I have always appreciated your insights in class as well. You are certainly more than welcome to use the outline at your convenience. Again, I would emphasize that it is a relatively basic summation of what I think the vital rules of the course were, but if it is of any use to you, I am glad to help. If there are any ambiguities, please feel free to let me know.
I wish you the very best of luck on all of your exams."
Sunday, December 03, 2006
on the subject
And while I'm on the subject of law students, there are two types who are NOT allowed to speak to me right now.
1. The 3L's I spoke with yesterday who all sailed into those scarce A's and made it on Law Review their first year without much effort. One, my writing fellow, wears ratty t-shirts everywhere and geeky glasses and looks like she should be working at a Quiki Mart. The other, who's gained about 20 pounds since the beginning of the year and has a healthy set of jowls (his words), can give a whole litany of gay-nasty legal jokes. "Constitutionally, that calls for a probing inquiry," for example.
Anyway, they're not allowed to speak because this is all very easy to them. They need to shut the hell up. I still like them, but wait until January before you smile at me again.
2. Graduates and law students at schools less prestigious than mine. This woman whose house I might move into was giving me advice, and the whole time all I could think was, "Yeah yeah, your school's LSAT score is 10 full points below my school's LSAT score, and you couldn't even get into my school, so what the hell do you know about my exams?"
It's a nice gesture, how everybody cares when I say I have exams. But if they didn't go to one of the top tier schools, they need to shut the hell up.
1. The 3L's I spoke with yesterday who all sailed into those scarce A's and made it on Law Review their first year without much effort. One, my writing fellow, wears ratty t-shirts everywhere and geeky glasses and looks like she should be working at a Quiki Mart. The other, who's gained about 20 pounds since the beginning of the year and has a healthy set of jowls (his words), can give a whole litany of gay-nasty legal jokes. "Constitutionally, that calls for a probing inquiry," for example.
Anyway, they're not allowed to speak because this is all very easy to them. They need to shut the hell up. I still like them, but wait until January before you smile at me again.
2. Graduates and law students at schools less prestigious than mine. This woman whose house I might move into was giving me advice, and the whole time all I could think was, "Yeah yeah, your school's LSAT score is 10 full points below my school's LSAT score, and you couldn't even get into my school, so what the hell do you know about my exams?"
It's a nice gesture, how everybody cares when I say I have exams. But if they didn't go to one of the top tier schools, they need to shut the hell up.
law students here
This email cracks me up. It's from Cute Young Boy. I had a better name for him before, I hope, but I don't remember it.
He had forwarded me an outline from a classmate. This classmate is whip smart - the first time he ever spoke in class I think I got whiplash from turning around to see who the hell was talking. He's got that whole Louisiana manners thing going on, but he's Smart Smart. And has a very cool name.
He also doesn't speak to me. Not that he deliberately ignores me, I don't think, but we've never been introduced or interacted except a couple times in class when he's disagreed with me.
So, it feels weird to look at his work. I don't expect it'll help me much anyway - I'd just look at it to check over my outline to see if I missed anything. So I emailed Cute Young Boy about that ethical dilemma, and I got the whole Babe thing below.
But here's what's striking me. This is how we at First Choice Law School are interacting. It's exam time, and I just saw the grade curve distribution - there are no more than 5 A's in any class - and most of the classes have at least 70 students. I'm really not liking my odds now.
And how are people responding to the stress? They're telling me I'm clever and studying with me and sending me outlines. Yesterday I was talking with some classmates and I asked, "So, is this other people's second or third choice?" They said it is.
But I think there's no other law school that I would like better. I'm proud of us.
"Babe,
Altruism is something very uncommon in these parts. JPM is a great dude and I have no doubt he would be happy/flattered that other students i.e. me and you would benefit from his stuff.
Quit being so ethical/straight babe!
See you soon"
He had forwarded me an outline from a classmate. This classmate is whip smart - the first time he ever spoke in class I think I got whiplash from turning around to see who the hell was talking. He's got that whole Louisiana manners thing going on, but he's Smart Smart. And has a very cool name.
He also doesn't speak to me. Not that he deliberately ignores me, I don't think, but we've never been introduced or interacted except a couple times in class when he's disagreed with me.
So, it feels weird to look at his work. I don't expect it'll help me much anyway - I'd just look at it to check over my outline to see if I missed anything. So I emailed Cute Young Boy about that ethical dilemma, and I got the whole Babe thing below.
But here's what's striking me. This is how we at First Choice Law School are interacting. It's exam time, and I just saw the grade curve distribution - there are no more than 5 A's in any class - and most of the classes have at least 70 students. I'm really not liking my odds now.
And how are people responding to the stress? They're telling me I'm clever and studying with me and sending me outlines. Yesterday I was talking with some classmates and I asked, "So, is this other people's second or third choice?" They said it is.
But I think there's no other law school that I would like better. I'm proud of us.
"Babe,
Altruism is something very uncommon in these parts. JPM is a great dude and I have no doubt he would be happy/flattered that other students i.e. me and you would benefit from his stuff.
Quit being so ethical/straight babe!
See you soon"
foxy broccoli
With the very last ounce of willpower I possess, I forced myself to make and eat a salad for dinner.
Fortunately, it was made with Foxy broccoli, and I had Jimi Hendrix/Al Yankovic going through my head the whole time.
It is pretty entertaining to be me, because I do find those kinds of connections all the time. I just don't usually share them anymore because I always end up saying, "It's funnier in my brain. Trust me."
And now, I shall tab and color my Civil Procedure Outline. I think there was something on Legally Blonde about the necessity of looking good. Well, I won't be looking good, but my outline will be pretty. I know it sounds stupid, but honestly - it's 20 pages, and if I could find Venue or Erie or Joinder in a snap, it would make me less stressed.
The good news is I got my sleep almost back. I'm still sleeping in until almost 7:30, but at least I'm falling asleep before midnight now.
I also made purple and black flashcards of all the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, and I almost called Jenny to see if she had an extra ring I could put them on. Alas, Jenny is further than a 20 minute drive away now. Schade. And I almost called Sabine about the TNT movie The Librarian (I think that I get most of my popular culture now from Hotmail ads), before I remember that she too is further than 30 minutes away. Alas, I am lost at sea here.
Me and my Foxy broccoli.
Fortunately, it was made with Foxy broccoli, and I had Jimi Hendrix/Al Yankovic going through my head the whole time.
It is pretty entertaining to be me, because I do find those kinds of connections all the time. I just don't usually share them anymore because I always end up saying, "It's funnier in my brain. Trust me."
And now, I shall tab and color my Civil Procedure Outline. I think there was something on Legally Blonde about the necessity of looking good. Well, I won't be looking good, but my outline will be pretty. I know it sounds stupid, but honestly - it's 20 pages, and if I could find Venue or Erie or Joinder in a snap, it would make me less stressed.
The good news is I got my sleep almost back. I'm still sleeping in until almost 7:30, but at least I'm falling asleep before midnight now.
I also made purple and black flashcards of all the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, and I almost called Jenny to see if she had an extra ring I could put them on. Alas, Jenny is further than a 20 minute drive away now. Schade. And I almost called Sabine about the TNT movie The Librarian (I think that I get most of my popular culture now from Hotmail ads), before I remember that she too is further than 30 minutes away. Alas, I am lost at sea here.
Me and my Foxy broccoli.
some people just rock
I found an internet website that lists "birding pals." I didn't know what to expect, but I shot off emails to the two people listed for Senegal.
Here's an email i got back (and Michele, after your natural history classes, don't you wish you were coming with me!). What's remarkable is his specificity, enthusiasm, and helpfulness - offering his brother-in-law to take me around? Wow. Of course, I have a miserable time taking advantage of people's helpfulness usually, but I often force myself because it enrichens me so.
****
Don't miss the opportunity to do some birdwatching in Senegal. The local birdlist is about 630 birds. Dakar itself has some surprisingly species-rich wetland areas in the middle of the city, which have produced flamingo, little bittern, black crake and painted snipe. Also in Dakar don't miss a visit to National Park 'Iles de La Madeleine' where you may find birds like osprey, bridled tern, and red-billed tropicbird as well as rare trees such as the dwarf baobab. The Small Cost (Petite Côte), South of Dakar, has landscapes that are dominated by the Senegalese national tree, the giant baobab, a biotope on itself, in which many different bird species nest, including mottled spinetail, vulture species and the rare pied-winged swallow. The coastal plains regularly have sparrow-larks, Temminck's courser, cream-colored courser and black-headed lapwing. The rocky hill-sides may produce spectacular panoramic views and sightings of the famous stone partridge, the dark chanting goshawk or the stunning cinnamon-breasted bunting. The sine Saloum river delta (including Sine Saloum National Park), a vast area with mangroves (home to the huge python of Seba), has feverish swamps, woodlands and tree savannas. More than ten different heron species are found there. The further you go south, the denser the wooded savannas and forest patches become, with fauna and the entire flora changing rapidly in accordance. Fatala Forest, at a few kilometers from the border with The Gambia, hosts most if not all of the typical 'Guinean' forest species, including green touraco, spotted honeyguide, longcrested eagle and Bruce's green pigeon to name just a few.
In the north, of course you have the Djoudj national parc and a few other national parcs, all very interesting for waterbirds and european winter-migrants. So it all depends how much time you have [insert my name here]. As a field guide I recommend "Birds of Africa South of the Sahara" by Sinclair and Ryan. I can email you a checklist if you like in both french and english. If you are looking for a birdwatcher to accompany you, it is unlikely that I will be available that time of the year (I will visit my father in Belgium) but I am sure my brother-in-law would be happy to help you organize your birdwatching and accompany you. He is a birder too and knows all the good spots very well. Just let me know the days that you would like to do birdwatching and we will make a plan.
Here's an email i got back (and Michele, after your natural history classes, don't you wish you were coming with me!). What's remarkable is his specificity, enthusiasm, and helpfulness - offering his brother-in-law to take me around? Wow. Of course, I have a miserable time taking advantage of people's helpfulness usually, but I often force myself because it enrichens me so.
****
Don't miss the opportunity to do some birdwatching in Senegal. The local birdlist is about 630 birds. Dakar itself has some surprisingly species-rich wetland areas in the middle of the city, which have produced flamingo, little bittern, black crake and painted snipe. Also in Dakar don't miss a visit to National Park 'Iles de La Madeleine' where you may find birds like osprey, bridled tern, and red-billed tropicbird as well as rare trees such as the dwarf baobab. The Small Cost (Petite Côte), South of Dakar, has landscapes that are dominated by the Senegalese national tree, the giant baobab, a biotope on itself, in which many different bird species nest, including mottled spinetail, vulture species and the rare pied-winged swallow. The coastal plains regularly have sparrow-larks, Temminck's courser, cream-colored courser and black-headed lapwing. The rocky hill-sides may produce spectacular panoramic views and sightings of the famous stone partridge, the dark chanting goshawk or the stunning cinnamon-breasted bunting. The sine Saloum river delta (including Sine Saloum National Park), a vast area with mangroves (home to the huge python of Seba), has feverish swamps, woodlands and tree savannas. More than ten different heron species are found there. The further you go south, the denser the wooded savannas and forest patches become, with fauna and the entire flora changing rapidly in accordance. Fatala Forest, at a few kilometers from the border with The Gambia, hosts most if not all of the typical 'Guinean' forest species, including green touraco, spotted honeyguide, longcrested eagle and Bruce's green pigeon to name just a few.
In the north, of course you have the Djoudj national parc and a few other national parcs, all very interesting for waterbirds and european winter-migrants. So it all depends how much time you have [insert my name here]. As a field guide I recommend "Birds of Africa South of the Sahara" by Sinclair and Ryan. I can email you a checklist if you like in both french and english. If you are looking for a birdwatcher to accompany you, it is unlikely that I will be available that time of the year (I will visit my father in Belgium) but I am sure my brother-in-law would be happy to help you organize your birdwatching and accompany you. He is a birder too and knows all the good spots very well. Just let me know the days that you would like to do birdwatching and we will make a plan.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
"my white friend"
Today I went to study with K and we went out to lunch with another classmate I like, Twists Girl (she wears her hair in this funky twists). We found a cute little cheap fast healthy Mexican place - which, Jenny, is NOT ON THE LIST of places we'll never return to.
K was saying, "Yeah, I was talking to my boyfriend and I told him something about you and he said, "Who?" and I was like, you know, my white friend and he was like, oh, yeah, now I know who you mean."
I'm the white friend.
Once again, much like last year's Mah Jong, I am the token white friend.
That's pretty darn funny.
Today was pretty darn unproductive. I got to the library early because the neighbor's radio was coming through the walls (and I know he wasn't trying to be loud at all) and the alarm went off when somebody tried to go out the emergency exit. When K got there she was feeling all over the place and not prepared enough to do a practice exam, but I finally got her to and then she felt even worse - so then we went to see the professor and we were right about almost everything, so we both were feeling better. That was the most productive time, once I convinced the professor I really didn't want to borrow My Cousin Vinnie from him. (It's a great law movie, he says.)
But then we went to lunch and then people started talking to us (the 3Ls were really funny though and did set my mind a bit at ease) and we got nothing else done. K wants to do a whole test tomorrow and then go over it, but I don't really want to go back to school, and I don't want to get too tired of it all before the actual test Monday at 2:00.
I thought I was wasting all this time because I'm not focused every minute, but I see the people at the library and they're not getting more work than me done. So why not enjoy the peace of my home with ready cold water and snacks and couch? I'll only go back to library to study if I don't want to pay for heat. Because after a week of being tempted to use my A/C, it's really cold again. Like, time to dig out winter clothes and hat and gloves.
The really funny 3L who is all about entertainment was talking about reasons NOT to be in a study group, and today made me realize I made the right choice. K and I are pretty good about working together, and she's quick and clever, but it was still a lot of wasted time for me.
Plus, the more I stay away from other people, the less likely I get brought into any drama. I'm polite to everybody and nobody bugs atrociously except stalker girl, but there are only a handful of people at school who have my phone number in their cell, and that's ok. I don't always handle drama well - sometimes I try to fix it and sometimes I get into the middle of it if I'm outraged - so it's just better to stay out. Twist Girl agrees with K that there are lots of very racist students at school - people who move if they sit down, who give dirty looks, etc. So if I actually saw that being done or overheard somebody being stupid about that, I would have to kick their ass right there.
Better I stay out of it. That would be a battery - an intentionally harmful contact.
Today was more about socializing than studying - which is the reverse of what it should be. But I still have 46 hours until my first final, so I hope I'm doing ok.
K was saying, "Yeah, I was talking to my boyfriend and I told him something about you and he said, "Who?" and I was like, you know, my white friend and he was like, oh, yeah, now I know who you mean."
I'm the white friend.
Once again, much like last year's Mah Jong, I am the token white friend.
That's pretty darn funny.
Today was pretty darn unproductive. I got to the library early because the neighbor's radio was coming through the walls (and I know he wasn't trying to be loud at all) and the alarm went off when somebody tried to go out the emergency exit. When K got there she was feeling all over the place and not prepared enough to do a practice exam, but I finally got her to and then she felt even worse - so then we went to see the professor and we were right about almost everything, so we both were feeling better. That was the most productive time, once I convinced the professor I really didn't want to borrow My Cousin Vinnie from him. (It's a great law movie, he says.)
But then we went to lunch and then people started talking to us (the 3Ls were really funny though and did set my mind a bit at ease) and we got nothing else done. K wants to do a whole test tomorrow and then go over it, but I don't really want to go back to school, and I don't want to get too tired of it all before the actual test Monday at 2:00.
I thought I was wasting all this time because I'm not focused every minute, but I see the people at the library and they're not getting more work than me done. So why not enjoy the peace of my home with ready cold water and snacks and couch? I'll only go back to library to study if I don't want to pay for heat. Because after a week of being tempted to use my A/C, it's really cold again. Like, time to dig out winter clothes and hat and gloves.
The really funny 3L who is all about entertainment was talking about reasons NOT to be in a study group, and today made me realize I made the right choice. K and I are pretty good about working together, and she's quick and clever, but it was still a lot of wasted time for me.
Plus, the more I stay away from other people, the less likely I get brought into any drama. I'm polite to everybody and nobody bugs atrociously except stalker girl, but there are only a handful of people at school who have my phone number in their cell, and that's ok. I don't always handle drama well - sometimes I try to fix it and sometimes I get into the middle of it if I'm outraged - so it's just better to stay out. Twist Girl agrees with K that there are lots of very racist students at school - people who move if they sit down, who give dirty looks, etc. So if I actually saw that being done or overheard somebody being stupid about that, I would have to kick their ass right there.
Better I stay out of it. That would be a battery - an intentionally harmful contact.
Today was more about socializing than studying - which is the reverse of what it should be. But I still have 46 hours until my first final, so I hope I'm doing ok.
Friday, December 01, 2006
not so good
So, I had two review sessions today - one for Torts and the other for CivPro. Both were based on practice questions they gave us before-hand, so I could prepare.
I did pretty well on them.
This isn't good.
I need fear of failure to drive me, but instead I'm loitering. Chilling. Wandering around a little aimlessly, considering my "study to-do" list to be more of a "if I feel like doing it" list. NOT GOOD. Because do I really feel like doing another outline or reading another commercial supplement or doing some on-line lessons or making flashcards with major concepts/doctrines/element? Um, no.
I also am not having any motivation to eat healthfully. I mean, it's not too bad - oatmeal & fruit for breakfast, red lentil soup and a sweet potato for lunch. But now I had a candy bar and I'm thinking about a piece of that BBQ chicken pizza at Whole Foods for dinner. Again. And I went to the gym twice when I got back from Oregon, but my knee was crazy hurting so I let up. Weight sticks to me like glue. Great for living through a famine.
The neighbor is moved in, and I explained to him that for the next two weeks if he could be tomb silent, that would be GREAT. I realize how unreasonable that makes me sound, but he didn't seem to think I was crazy.
I ran into the clerk who helped us with the whole landlord situation with the lawyer, and she said they've finished our letter and I'll like it because it's "sassy."
That is a word I never get tired of being associated with me.
OK, end of procratination rant. Time to buckle down and be a law student.
I did pretty well on them.
This isn't good.
I need fear of failure to drive me, but instead I'm loitering. Chilling. Wandering around a little aimlessly, considering my "study to-do" list to be more of a "if I feel like doing it" list. NOT GOOD. Because do I really feel like doing another outline or reading another commercial supplement or doing some on-line lessons or making flashcards with major concepts/doctrines/element? Um, no.
I also am not having any motivation to eat healthfully. I mean, it's not too bad - oatmeal & fruit for breakfast, red lentil soup and a sweet potato for lunch. But now I had a candy bar and I'm thinking about a piece of that BBQ chicken pizza at Whole Foods for dinner. Again. And I went to the gym twice when I got back from Oregon, but my knee was crazy hurting so I let up. Weight sticks to me like glue. Great for living through a famine.
The neighbor is moved in, and I explained to him that for the next two weeks if he could be tomb silent, that would be GREAT. I realize how unreasonable that makes me sound, but he didn't seem to think I was crazy.
I ran into the clerk who helped us with the whole landlord situation with the lawyer, and she said they've finished our letter and I'll like it because it's "sassy."
That is a word I never get tired of being associated with me.
OK, end of procratination rant. Time to buckle down and be a law student.
things I think about
Pease porridge.
Actually I was just looking up porridge. That's what we called the hot cereal we ate in Ghana, and that's what my oatmeal has recently been tasting like (I've started microwaving it for convenience sake - no need to stand over the stove for five minutes to prevent burning, and one less thing to watch). Now I'm definitely going to keep microwaving it - I think it tastes even better that way - because it's more like the porridge in Ghana that I have fond memories of.
Why fond memories? Well, I didn't have to make it. Isaac would be up at the crack of dawn every morning, making a big pot of it. We, the house dweller - volunteers and some local staff - would shuffle in the morning, grab a bowl, plunk some in, and then begin the doctoring. Christine had somewhere scored brown sugar (she was there almost a year - she had all the good connections), and Katie liked to walk nextdoor to buy evaporated milk. (We were up in the hills away from almost everybody else - but for some reason there was a compound behind us with people selling some things from a make-shift shop. It was a great source of cayenne peanuts, "biscuits," and the like.)
Gill wouldn't eat the porridge so she'd go scavenge eggs in the morning from neighbors around who would sell them.
I would sit there in my lappa (just a piece of cloth wrapped around me) and start the day with some tea and porridge. I always liked it best when Fred was there, because he hits the ground running - although he is notoriously late at all times. When I wasn't at Dayton's, where he would sometimes get bread instead. Not good bread, but it was good enough. He slathered it with mayo (that he keeps on a shelf in his "kitchen" - there is of course no refrigeration at camp) and he finds me odd that I don't like bread that way.
Ex-roommate says I'm antisocial in the mornings, but that isn't true. I just don't like her. With people I like, such as my housemates in Ghana, I like seeing them when I first get up and starting the day with them.
All this I think, to avoid killing the electrician shouting above my head.
Actually, I've been flashing back a tremendous amount recently. I'll be doing something and all of a sudden it's like I'm climbing the Sun Temple again. Or picking huckleberries back in Alaska again. Or on a boat in the Galapagos. Or snorkling. Or ... any of the myriad things I've done in my relatively short life. Maybe it's provoked by the personal statement I just finished for application, or maybe my life is flashing before my eyes.
Whatever it is, I need another cup of coffee and to rush to my Torts review session.
Actually I was just looking up porridge. That's what we called the hot cereal we ate in Ghana, and that's what my oatmeal has recently been tasting like (I've started microwaving it for convenience sake - no need to stand over the stove for five minutes to prevent burning, and one less thing to watch). Now I'm definitely going to keep microwaving it - I think it tastes even better that way - because it's more like the porridge in Ghana that I have fond memories of.
Why fond memories? Well, I didn't have to make it. Isaac would be up at the crack of dawn every morning, making a big pot of it. We, the house dweller - volunteers and some local staff - would shuffle in the morning, grab a bowl, plunk some in, and then begin the doctoring. Christine had somewhere scored brown sugar (she was there almost a year - she had all the good connections), and Katie liked to walk nextdoor to buy evaporated milk. (We were up in the hills away from almost everybody else - but for some reason there was a compound behind us with people selling some things from a make-shift shop. It was a great source of cayenne peanuts, "biscuits," and the like.)
Gill wouldn't eat the porridge so she'd go scavenge eggs in the morning from neighbors around who would sell them.
I would sit there in my lappa (just a piece of cloth wrapped around me) and start the day with some tea and porridge. I always liked it best when Fred was there, because he hits the ground running - although he is notoriously late at all times. When I wasn't at Dayton's, where he would sometimes get bread instead. Not good bread, but it was good enough. He slathered it with mayo (that he keeps on a shelf in his "kitchen" - there is of course no refrigeration at camp) and he finds me odd that I don't like bread that way.
Ex-roommate says I'm antisocial in the mornings, but that isn't true. I just don't like her. With people I like, such as my housemates in Ghana, I like seeing them when I first get up and starting the day with them.
All this I think, to avoid killing the electrician shouting above my head.
Actually, I've been flashing back a tremendous amount recently. I'll be doing something and all of a sudden it's like I'm climbing the Sun Temple again. Or picking huckleberries back in Alaska again. Or on a boat in the Galapagos. Or snorkling. Or ... any of the myriad things I've done in my relatively short life. Maybe it's provoked by the personal statement I just finished for application, or maybe my life is flashing before my eyes.
Whatever it is, I need another cup of coffee and to rush to my Torts review session.
Fred's coming to NYC!
How exciting! He just got his visa and he'll fly on the 9th to a UN conference.
Yeah, he's a big deal - he was in Amsterdam last week for some other big multinational shindig. I would so vote for him for president of any country. Well, except Liberia, since I could never become a citizen there because I'm white. Which, maybe he would change that law.
Anyway, I'm trying to figure out a way to see him. It's not cheap to fly there, and what a hassle to get around and all that for just a few hours probably. And yeah, I need to be studying! I wonder if I could figure out a way to get him here. He'd like it here.
I wish I had connections and could help get him in to a university somewhere here. There was war when he was of college age and no functioning universities. But he's whip-smart. And I don't think he'd find most universities challenging enough now, because of his life experiences. "Sorry, professor, I'll miss class again because I'm the expert on child soldiers in West Africa and the UN needs to see me again." Maybe if he got a job in a major urban center and was able to do a part-technology-based program at a prestigious school it would work.
Yeah, I really needed one more thing to wipe out time during finals. But, who knows when he'll ever be on this continent again, or when I'll be in Liberia, or we can meet anywhere in between.
I am really not sleeping, and it's making me crazy. I was awake at 2 am to hear construction on a nearby street. They were probably digging more potholes, just for fun.
Yeah, he's a big deal - he was in Amsterdam last week for some other big multinational shindig. I would so vote for him for president of any country. Well, except Liberia, since I could never become a citizen there because I'm white. Which, maybe he would change that law.
Anyway, I'm trying to figure out a way to see him. It's not cheap to fly there, and what a hassle to get around and all that for just a few hours probably. And yeah, I need to be studying! I wonder if I could figure out a way to get him here. He'd like it here.
I wish I had connections and could help get him in to a university somewhere here. There was war when he was of college age and no functioning universities. But he's whip-smart. And I don't think he'd find most universities challenging enough now, because of his life experiences. "Sorry, professor, I'll miss class again because I'm the expert on child soldiers in West Africa and the UN needs to see me again." Maybe if he got a job in a major urban center and was able to do a part-technology-based program at a prestigious school it would work.
Yeah, I really needed one more thing to wipe out time during finals. But, who knows when he'll ever be on this continent again, or when I'll be in Liberia, or we can meet anywhere in between.
I am really not sleeping, and it's making me crazy. I was awake at 2 am to hear construction on a nearby street. They were probably digging more potholes, just for fun.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
my real superpower
It's not sabotage, despite reports.
It's frugality. I just got my electric bill - less than $20! Of course, that's because I spent most of the month huddling in cold, sitting in the dark - but still, I won (the bet with myself)! Under $20!
It will never be that low again, since the electrician realized that the hot water heater wasn't hooked up to my apartment. I told him while he was switching wires around to move my a/c to the neighbor's.
I guess he thought I wasn't joking because he told the landlady.
So, my secret identity: Cheapie McCheapskate.
It's frugality. I just got my electric bill - less than $20! Of course, that's because I spent most of the month huddling in cold, sitting in the dark - but still, I won (the bet with myself)! Under $20!
It will never be that low again, since the electrician realized that the hot water heater wasn't hooked up to my apartment. I told him while he was switching wires around to move my a/c to the neighbor's.
I guess he thought I wasn't joking because he told the landlady.
So, my secret identity: Cheapie McCheapskate.
missed call
Fred from Liberia called today and I missed it. I wonder what's up. I wonder if Dayton called him. I wonder ... well, I know, I could just pick up the phone and call, but my international calling cards are out of minutes and I stubbornly refuse to recharge them now because I'm not speaking with Dayton.
I might have found housing - it's five miles away, but a straight-shot for driving. It's a room rental, but the home owner will be out of the country almost the whole time. The clincher - she's a lawyer. Apparently every person in this town is.
It would be less money, I would have more space - and w/d and d/w. Bonus. Only bummer - not being able to walk to school. Sigh. I mean, I'd still have to walk because I'm not paying for parking - so I'd probably park on my current street and walk over, but then total travel time would be about 25 minutes. I'd probably go to the gym less if it involves driving as well. Though, I could think of the not driving for laundry to take the place of that.
Why do I want to move? Appliances. Quiet - I'm worried about neighbor moving in and listening to music all day. Safer place to park. Also, I'd love to live in a real neighborhood again - most of the houses here are abandoned, and the others are inhabited by out of state undergrads. The only bummers are that I really like my current landlady and that I like not having to drive. But, I do own a truck and I do pay insurance already.
Finals pressure is heavy now. Too much to do!
I might have found housing - it's five miles away, but a straight-shot for driving. It's a room rental, but the home owner will be out of the country almost the whole time. The clincher - she's a lawyer. Apparently every person in this town is.
It would be less money, I would have more space - and w/d and d/w. Bonus. Only bummer - not being able to walk to school. Sigh. I mean, I'd still have to walk because I'm not paying for parking - so I'd probably park on my current street and walk over, but then total travel time would be about 25 minutes. I'd probably go to the gym less if it involves driving as well. Though, I could think of the not driving for laundry to take the place of that.
Why do I want to move? Appliances. Quiet - I'm worried about neighbor moving in and listening to music all day. Safer place to park. Also, I'd love to live in a real neighborhood again - most of the houses here are abandoned, and the others are inhabited by out of state undergrads. The only bummers are that I really like my current landlady and that I like not having to drive. But, I do own a truck and I do pay insurance already.
Finals pressure is heavy now. Too much to do!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
rock star
Last night was my last night of test-prep teaching. I don't know if I'll do it again.
On the one hand, I enjoyed it - I had a great class and we had a good time. Last night they expressed their appreciation - one saying that she mocks the other students saying, "Haha! We got the good teacher!" The guy who observed my teaching thinks I'm a rock star, according to the director. Glad to know that all my training and experience pays off occasionally.
But, it's not a lot of money, and it's quite a bit of prep. But more than that, I don't really agree with it. They charge $1300 for people to improve their scores - but the average improvement is only five points. Which can be significant, but they could do it on their own with a book and all that. Or, they could realize that law school isn't for them. There's a guy in the class - a nice guy - but he is really slow. It always takes him forever to catch up to what we're talking about. He does not have the mental acuity to handle law school. He should not be a lawyer because he is not quick enough to adequately represent people.
That sounds so anti-American, but I think people do need to honestly recognize their limitations. Law school isn't for everybody. It's hard. Medical school isn't for everybody. Same thing. And PhD programs shouldn't be for everybody, but the one I was in sure was. There was only one professor there who would really be honest, and people thought she was mean. OK, if you can't write, you don't deserve a PhD. Suck it up. You can have a perfectly happy life, but you should not be in academia if you aren't among the brightest people in the world. Period. It makes it meaningless, but more important it dilutes the quality of the program for people who actually can handle it.
Today this 2L was telling the person I was standing next to (they were having a conversation and I didn't want to interrupt - see yesterday's post) about how little pieces of her soul died inside her during finals of her 1L year.
Well, fortunately I'm a rock star without a chemical dependency, so hopefully my soul will survive intact. Shrug. There are people who will still love me even if I'm not all that with law school exams.
But, I still better study. K says if the Lord wants her on Law Review (top 5-10% of the class), then He'll make it happen. Well, I have little faith that things line up for me that way, so I guess it's on my own merits. Things are just so mushy in my brain still, especially about Civ Pro. I can't smartly snap out all the Rules and their applications. I have this sort of blurry concept of, oh yeah, there has to be personal jurisdiction, subject matter jurisdiction, and venue, and some people can be impleaded or joined. Is there complete diversity? Is this a nonwaivable Rule 12 item? Rule 8 is permissive (or we call it the promiscuous rule - it loves everybody), but that's about the limit of my understanding of it. Colored tabs aren't going to help me much, I fear. I work through problems and I get them right about 75% of the time, but I can't always articulate WHY. Yes, she can be sued in Maine state court if the long-arm statute works, and can then remove to federal court on diversity - 1362 - and then transfer under 1404 if the court approves ... but so what? Is that all there is, or am I still missing the big picture that's hidden somewhere under all the mists? Unshrouded Civ Pro truth. That's what I seek.
Not helping is that he gave a huge-ass reading assignment with lots more info to digest for tomorrow. Our final is in five days, and we're still learning new difficult stuff. This sucks and I glowered at him all class period. It startled him, but he should have expected some unhappiness. There's no good reason for it - if he'd better budgeted our time we could be working on application of all we've learned on our last days instead - which would make a whole lot more sense.
Anyway, pretty much everything I'm eating now is orange. Persimmons, red lentil soup with carrots, baked sweet potatoes with paprika, harira (Moroccan stew). Hopefully it helps my eyes live through finals. I was thinking I was craving those nutrients, but I think it's the season - autumn makes me crave orange.
OK, an hour until my next class. I couldn't sleep last night - again - which makes my brain even more fuzzy than usual. Great.
On the one hand, I enjoyed it - I had a great class and we had a good time. Last night they expressed their appreciation - one saying that she mocks the other students saying, "Haha! We got the good teacher!" The guy who observed my teaching thinks I'm a rock star, according to the director. Glad to know that all my training and experience pays off occasionally.
But, it's not a lot of money, and it's quite a bit of prep. But more than that, I don't really agree with it. They charge $1300 for people to improve their scores - but the average improvement is only five points. Which can be significant, but they could do it on their own with a book and all that. Or, they could realize that law school isn't for them. There's a guy in the class - a nice guy - but he is really slow. It always takes him forever to catch up to what we're talking about. He does not have the mental acuity to handle law school. He should not be a lawyer because he is not quick enough to adequately represent people.
That sounds so anti-American, but I think people do need to honestly recognize their limitations. Law school isn't for everybody. It's hard. Medical school isn't for everybody. Same thing. And PhD programs shouldn't be for everybody, but the one I was in sure was. There was only one professor there who would really be honest, and people thought she was mean. OK, if you can't write, you don't deserve a PhD. Suck it up. You can have a perfectly happy life, but you should not be in academia if you aren't among the brightest people in the world. Period. It makes it meaningless, but more important it dilutes the quality of the program for people who actually can handle it.
Today this 2L was telling the person I was standing next to (they were having a conversation and I didn't want to interrupt - see yesterday's post) about how little pieces of her soul died inside her during finals of her 1L year.
Well, fortunately I'm a rock star without a chemical dependency, so hopefully my soul will survive intact. Shrug. There are people who will still love me even if I'm not all that with law school exams.
But, I still better study. K says if the Lord wants her on Law Review (top 5-10% of the class), then He'll make it happen. Well, I have little faith that things line up for me that way, so I guess it's on my own merits. Things are just so mushy in my brain still, especially about Civ Pro. I can't smartly snap out all the Rules and their applications. I have this sort of blurry concept of, oh yeah, there has to be personal jurisdiction, subject matter jurisdiction, and venue, and some people can be impleaded or joined. Is there complete diversity? Is this a nonwaivable Rule 12 item? Rule 8 is permissive (or we call it the promiscuous rule - it loves everybody), but that's about the limit of my understanding of it. Colored tabs aren't going to help me much, I fear. I work through problems and I get them right about 75% of the time, but I can't always articulate WHY. Yes, she can be sued in Maine state court if the long-arm statute works, and can then remove to federal court on diversity - 1362 - and then transfer under 1404 if the court approves ... but so what? Is that all there is, or am I still missing the big picture that's hidden somewhere under all the mists? Unshrouded Civ Pro truth. That's what I seek.
Not helping is that he gave a huge-ass reading assignment with lots more info to digest for tomorrow. Our final is in five days, and we're still learning new difficult stuff. This sucks and I glowered at him all class period. It startled him, but he should have expected some unhappiness. There's no good reason for it - if he'd better budgeted our time we could be working on application of all we've learned on our last days instead - which would make a whole lot more sense.
Anyway, pretty much everything I'm eating now is orange. Persimmons, red lentil soup with carrots, baked sweet potatoes with paprika, harira (Moroccan stew). Hopefully it helps my eyes live through finals. I was thinking I was craving those nutrients, but I think it's the season - autumn makes me crave orange.
OK, an hour until my next class. I couldn't sleep last night - again - which makes my brain even more fuzzy than usual. Great.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
why i don't like her
I felt somebody poking my middle so I turned to see the ex-roommate. "There's where you're hiding!"
OK, first, you never poke somebody. I stopped doing it when I was about six, and the rest of the civilized world follows the same general rule. She's 28. If I hadn't had things in my hands, I might have broken her fingers.
Second, I was in the middle of a conversation that was far more important than anything she could ever say. Interrupting is a rude thing that people do who don't have manners.
Third, the person I was talking to was my friend K, who got us in to see the lawyer. The ex-roommate owes her a big thank you, and I had introduced them before so ex-roommate knew. Instead, she completely ignored her. After interrupting her. K and I just turned and looked at her and then continued our conversation as if she weren't there, and we spoke in shorthand code so she wouldn't have any idea what we were talking about. Not her. Because neither of us care.
Fourth, I was between the doorway of the classroom and the main doorway to outside. I was even in the flow of traffic, which I try not to do but the law school is stupid set-up with no place to stand and talk. How is this hiding? Why would I be hiding? Why would she say something so stupid?
So, it's simple, why I don't like her. She's rude, has no manners, is ungrateful, thinks she's the center of the universe, is immature, and says stupid things. No, I'll go a step further - she is stupid.
I actually loathe her. I will be glad when she leaves the country and keeps her fingers and racist stupidity to herself. There are some things I do not ever forgive, and racism is one of them.
OK, first, you never poke somebody. I stopped doing it when I was about six, and the rest of the civilized world follows the same general rule. She's 28. If I hadn't had things in my hands, I might have broken her fingers.
Second, I was in the middle of a conversation that was far more important than anything she could ever say. Interrupting is a rude thing that people do who don't have manners.
Third, the person I was talking to was my friend K, who got us in to see the lawyer. The ex-roommate owes her a big thank you, and I had introduced them before so ex-roommate knew. Instead, she completely ignored her. After interrupting her. K and I just turned and looked at her and then continued our conversation as if she weren't there, and we spoke in shorthand code so she wouldn't have any idea what we were talking about. Not her. Because neither of us care.
Fourth, I was between the doorway of the classroom and the main doorway to outside. I was even in the flow of traffic, which I try not to do but the law school is stupid set-up with no place to stand and talk. How is this hiding? Why would I be hiding? Why would she say something so stupid?
So, it's simple, why I don't like her. She's rude, has no manners, is ungrateful, thinks she's the center of the universe, is immature, and says stupid things. No, I'll go a step further - she is stupid.
I actually loathe her. I will be glad when she leaves the country and keeps her fingers and racist stupidity to herself. There are some things I do not ever forgive, and racism is one of them.
Monday, November 27, 2006
What are you going to do when he moves in?
That's what the electrician just asked me, when I asked him how to turn off the incredibly annoying attic fan. I couldn't wait, so I just turned off all the electricity to the other part of the house. Thankfully, he hooked it up to the other guy's electricity rather than mine.
"Oh, the neighbor was there today? He must have turned off my radio."
"No, that was me. I have no tolerance for noise now - my finals begin in a week."
I left the house early today to go to the library. Unfortunately, I can't study in the library, so it was some wasted time. Which is not what I need now. But I did get my exam numbers, thanks to two classmates who reminded me.
For every exam we have to use a number only, so that everything is completely anonymous. Today was the first day to get numbers, and I need to give props to my classmates who look out for spacy-old me and guide me there.
I also got my schedule for next term, and it's basically exactly the same as this term, except that I start even later on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I don't know how I can do legal volunteering with this schedule - all my days are chopped up by classes. Sigh.
So, the neighbor showed up today. It's unfortunate that we share a whole living room wall (which is my only interior wall), which apparently has no insulation based on how loud the music came blaring through today. I know it will be different when there's furniture and all that, and he needn't put a stereo right against where I study - but I fear my silence is over. And I can't live with noise, so I'll have to move. To answer the electrician.
I just realized, just now as I type this, that my neighbor will be working out of the apartment. He's a painting conservator. Which probably means that he listens to music as he works. I am so screwed. If it's Mozart or Bach, it's ok sometimes - but anything that has words won't work for me.
On the other hand, I'm extremely quiet - I only have music on to cook, no TV - the only noise is the sound of typing and printing. Maybe he's like me.
He did come by tonight to tell me how happy he is to be moving in, and he told me about his recent divorce (I so nailed that wrong - I was sure he was gay) - a fatality of Katrina he said (though I'd figured that out before he said it). Maybe it will work out well having him next door - him being around all the time will be good for security, getting packages, etc. Together we can deal with the yippy dog and partying neighbors (though, since I told Landlady and she called their landruler, there hasn't been a peep from them), and he can handle watering the yard. He can watch my pipes from freezing while I'm gone, etc.
Well, I'll hope for the best, but if not, Ahmed and Tami may be recruited to help me move again.
"Oh, the neighbor was there today? He must have turned off my radio."
"No, that was me. I have no tolerance for noise now - my finals begin in a week."
I left the house early today to go to the library. Unfortunately, I can't study in the library, so it was some wasted time. Which is not what I need now. But I did get my exam numbers, thanks to two classmates who reminded me.
For every exam we have to use a number only, so that everything is completely anonymous. Today was the first day to get numbers, and I need to give props to my classmates who look out for spacy-old me and guide me there.
I also got my schedule for next term, and it's basically exactly the same as this term, except that I start even later on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I don't know how I can do legal volunteering with this schedule - all my days are chopped up by classes. Sigh.
So, the neighbor showed up today. It's unfortunate that we share a whole living room wall (which is my only interior wall), which apparently has no insulation based on how loud the music came blaring through today. I know it will be different when there's furniture and all that, and he needn't put a stereo right against where I study - but I fear my silence is over. And I can't live with noise, so I'll have to move. To answer the electrician.
I just realized, just now as I type this, that my neighbor will be working out of the apartment. He's a painting conservator. Which probably means that he listens to music as he works. I am so screwed. If it's Mozart or Bach, it's ok sometimes - but anything that has words won't work for me.
On the other hand, I'm extremely quiet - I only have music on to cook, no TV - the only noise is the sound of typing and printing. Maybe he's like me.
He did come by tonight to tell me how happy he is to be moving in, and he told me about his recent divorce (I so nailed that wrong - I was sure he was gay) - a fatality of Katrina he said (though I'd figured that out before he said it). Maybe it will work out well having him next door - him being around all the time will be good for security, getting packages, etc. Together we can deal with the yippy dog and partying neighbors (though, since I told Landlady and she called their landruler, there hasn't been a peep from them), and he can handle watering the yard. He can watch my pipes from freezing while I'm gone, etc.
Well, I'll hope for the best, but if not, Ahmed and Tami may be recruited to help me move again.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
holiday speak
Amy, on her voting habits: "I don't care how appealing they might seem. I can never vote with somebody with an (R) after their name!"
Ashton, on his accomplishments and desires (he's 2): "I'm bigger! And I want to eat a bush baby!"
Avery, on where he wants me to find a job: "I want Auntie [insert my name here] to live with us!"
Stephen, on our latest round of gluttony: "I'm so proud of how far you've come, padawan."
"Uncle" Terry, on job offers: "There's only one firm I'd work for and it's mostly people I used to work with and enjoy. The only problem is that they need me only a state away from my family, and if there's not a continent or an ocean between us, I'm not going."
Ashton, on his accomplishments and desires (he's 2): "I'm bigger! And I want to eat a bush baby!"
Avery, on where he wants me to find a job: "I want Auntie [insert my name here] to live with us!"
Stephen, on our latest round of gluttony: "I'm so proud of how far you've come, padawan."
"Uncle" Terry, on job offers: "There's only one firm I'd work for and it's mostly people I used to work with and enjoy. The only problem is that they need me only a state away from my family, and if there's not a continent or an ocean between us, I'm not going."
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving!
If I don't blog again before then.
So, I have my bag packed (that's why I put off doing it - because it takes me all of five minutes). Rain jacket. Check.
Pajamas. Check.
Toothpaste and facial cleanser, trial size each, in a plastic ziploc bag. Check.
Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Check.
Examples and Explanations of Civil Procedure. Check.
Glannon's Problems Guide to Civil Procedure. Check.
My class outline of Civil Procedure. Check.
I'm sure it's what all the cool kids carry in their bags, the FRCP. I'm bringing pretty tabs and I'm going to mark them color-coded, the ones I need to know, and then I'm going to make my own index as well.
Actually I would feel way geekier if I didn't know that all my classmates are studying it, too. And today I finally had to say something to this cute Korean boy who sits in front of me (though, he looks Japanese, but it is a Korean last name so I'll have to ask him) because every day in Contracts he gets out this set of 10 colored highlighters. So, I finally asked, because that so intrigues me. Yes, he color codes what he reads because he doesn't brief his cases. And he also smokes, which is way gross, but he still has this perky little attitude in class. I know that I'm jaded and very sassy right back at the profs, but I still can appreciate the sweet innocent ones who will smile and nod.
Those of us who are there every day, we're bonding. Class attendance has been abysmal this week - I don't know if people took off the whole week or if it was the memo assignment or burn out or what - but I gotta wonder why they would skip the last few days of class. Oh well. I'm there. Soaking up the brilliance. It's the least I can do, when tuition is $38K/year.
So, I have my bag packed (that's why I put off doing it - because it takes me all of five minutes). Rain jacket. Check.
Pajamas. Check.
Toothpaste and facial cleanser, trial size each, in a plastic ziploc bag. Check.
Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Check.
Examples and Explanations of Civil Procedure. Check.
Glannon's Problems Guide to Civil Procedure. Check.
My class outline of Civil Procedure. Check.
I'm sure it's what all the cool kids carry in their bags, the FRCP. I'm bringing pretty tabs and I'm going to mark them color-coded, the ones I need to know, and then I'm going to make my own index as well.
Actually I would feel way geekier if I didn't know that all my classmates are studying it, too. And today I finally had to say something to this cute Korean boy who sits in front of me (though, he looks Japanese, but it is a Korean last name so I'll have to ask him) because every day in Contracts he gets out this set of 10 colored highlighters. So, I finally asked, because that so intrigues me. Yes, he color codes what he reads because he doesn't brief his cases. And he also smokes, which is way gross, but he still has this perky little attitude in class. I know that I'm jaded and very sassy right back at the profs, but I still can appreciate the sweet innocent ones who will smile and nod.
Those of us who are there every day, we're bonding. Class attendance has been abysmal this week - I don't know if people took off the whole week or if it was the memo assignment or burn out or what - but I gotta wonder why they would skip the last few days of class. Oh well. I'm there. Soaking up the brilliance. It's the least I can do, when tuition is $38K/year.
as I said ...
OFF CAMPUS ARMED ROBBERY
Sunday, November 19, 2006
[Two blocks from where I used to live; a mile from here] @ 8:45 P.M.
Students were robbed of currency by a white male subject armed with a large, black-handled, chef-type knife
Suspect Description:5’7” to 5’8”, unshaven, with a dark complexion, and wearing dark clothing, a puffy jacket and a knit hat with the sides folded up
Possibly related: an unknown male in a parked vehicle
Vehicle description: a light-colored, old model, small, pickup truck
********
8:45 pm on a Sunday, outside the cafe and restaurant I used to always go in the evenings? Sigh.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
[Two blocks from where I used to live; a mile from here] @ 8:45 P.M.
Students were robbed of currency by a white male subject armed with a large, black-handled, chef-type knife
Suspect Description:5’7” to 5’8”, unshaven, with a dark complexion, and wearing dark clothing, a puffy jacket and a knit hat with the sides folded up
Possibly related: an unknown male in a parked vehicle
Vehicle description: a light-colored, old model, small, pickup truck
********
8:45 pm on a Sunday, outside the cafe and restaurant I used to always go in the evenings? Sigh.
laundromat blues
I am so over laundromats. I have to psych myself out to go now, so today's "reward" was to read the newspapers for the past five days that I haven't had a chance to read, and the daily special of soul food sold out of the back of the nextdoor Arab-run gas station. It was between the soul food or the taqueria in the parking lot, and I was craving me some greens and wanted to see how their "smothered" was.
It was ok. Cornbread really dry - again, I'm a better cook. But I learned something valuable about greens - mine actually taste at least as good as what I get elsewhere, but the problem is that I try to eat them just as greens, maybe with rice. They're a side, and if they are the main course they're always going to fall short. Too sour. The greens in Africa are just totally different.
I got there in a pretty good mood - hell, it's vacation and tomorrow at this time I'll be in Oregon with my two favorite 7- and 2-year-olds.
It started pretty well - a matronly Black woman customer told me how to work the card machines, and there was a saying about Allah hanging above the doorway, and a Mexican (ok, Latino) man was very friendly in the parking lot. All good.
And then a family came in and I thought, as I often have, how cute "paw-paw" is for grandpa. I'm over it. If I hear one more, "You want me to wup you? I'm telling paw-paw and he wup yur ass! He get his belt!" well, I'm not sure how I could be as obnoxious as that in return. Maybe I'd talk about Wal-Mart evils. The thing is that these people, the ones who threaten violence against their kids, try to do it in lieu of actual parenting. Why was this 2-year-old acting up? Because he was BORED and ignored. Be a parent already and get off your lazy ass and interact with your child. Not to the point that he's the center of the universe, but so he feels acknowledged. Until you do, he's going to keep ramming strangers with laundry baskets and sticking foreign objects into brand-new machines. But you don't really care, do you?
And then there was junk in most of the dryers (trash, candy, etc. that would melt), and the TV was blaring ESPN (I don't care!) and the parking was so tight I couldn't get out. (The next time somebody gestures there's a mile between me and their car, I'll stop being so cautious and hit them. People with small cars cannot tell me how to drive my behemoth.)
It was a new laundromat, and I don't know if I'll return. I can't study there, or in any that I know, and that's what I need. Well, there is a laundromat at the university right by the law school, but I don't know how to get my laundry there because it's in a dormitory and no parking nearby. But I might try to figure that out, because it would be worth it to go to the library during the spin cycle.
It's just annoying and unnecessary - I should have a washer and dryer. Not in this apartment, it's too tiny, but I should be able to find housing elsewhere that meets this and the off-street parking need. But there's nothing unless I want to pay more than $1000 for a small one-bedroom far from school. That's messed up. Maybe at the end of the year when leases run out and people are moving away something good will open up. This sucks.
Of course, I'm not having to wash my clothes by hand and hang them outside, like most of the world, so I need to shut the heck up.
It's just that there's always this gap - or tension in me. I like a world full of colorful characters and interesting places, but I also want everything clean and sterilized and I want people to stop shooting each other. Maybe it's just weighing on me since I got the major lecture from Kim about how I have to be safe - or maybe that in the 5 days of newspaper I read, there were at least 10 murders (I stopped counting then). 4 people in 3 hours. And yeah, it's mostly about drugs, but I don't care. I'm fed up with the death here.
Yes, Tami, I know, you warned me.
But why can't America have a city that is full of interesting culture and music (I'm listening to Rebirth Brass Band right now to perk me back up) that isn't a dangerous pothole? Why do we keep having to choose between tract houses and safety? Why can't I have restaurants and shops that are local and STILL be able to walk home after dark from school?
Maybe the violence and culture aren't related, but I can't think of any place that is interesting in this country that isn't riddled with such problems. Memphis comes to mind.
I don't want to live in sterile suburbia, I've said often, but don't I? I'm running out of patience for inner-city problems that surround me. And we all know, I'm not a patient woman. New Orleans is now smaller than Riverside but has so much more to offer because there's no LA nearby to rely upon. But even LA doesn't have to offer what New Orleans does. And I love all the people I actually know from here. I love that the soul food woman said, "Hi, baby!" and was happy to see me like we were old friends when I walked up to the window. I love that when I play my "fake or real" game, it's usually the latter - not so in SoCal.
It's a rough time for the city, there's no doubt. People's patience it stretched beyond limits. But I love how I can chat it up with former neighbors Bill and Charlotte and our conversation is not always about how they're so screwed because they can't get into their house yet. People here suck it up and find the sunny side, and their hospitality is genuine.
So who are these people who are killing so much?
Hm. I think I need to find some volunteering in the system so I can find out. My students made sense of things for me before, and I need something like that here. It just doesn't make sense to me.
Maybe it isn't about the people, but about the system. Which is definitely major fucked up here. Hm.
I need to volunteer next term. Period. I need to stop working in education and I need to get into law. I need those experiences. Which means Dayton ain't coming anytime soon, if ever. He was pretty upset about my notice that I don't have time to deal with him now - I'm too busy, and I need to start putting myself first now. Tough. Suck it up.
OK, time for one more round of "Do Whatcha Wanna" while putting away the laundry and packing, and then some more studying. I'm up at 4:00 a.m. tomorrow to catch my flight to Oregon so it'll be an early night.
Oh, today I learned one of my classmates actually took all these classes last year but walked out on the exams. Last year for the people who stuck it out with First Choice, they came in January and had a full year's worth of classes with an extended 6-day schedule. So, she took the classes but apparently cracked at the finals and walked out. She still paid for all of last year but then has to redo. I haven't talked to her about it, but I want details. I like her, she's nice. In the same category as the young woman who shouted at me when I was trying to find my ID to get through the short-cut gate, "Don't worry Ms. [Insert My Last Name Here]! I have it!" and then bustled over to help me out. That's just nice, especially since we've never met and just know each other's last names from class. I have liked every person from West Virginia I have ever met. And it's a small state, so maybe nobody will ruin that concept I have.
I just wish that - walking out - weren't in my realm of possibility now. Sigh. The test questions are freaking hard, and it totally sucks when EVERYTHING rests on like two questions. What if I read something wrong? Or ... never mind, I'm not going to psych myself out here.
It was ok. Cornbread really dry - again, I'm a better cook. But I learned something valuable about greens - mine actually taste at least as good as what I get elsewhere, but the problem is that I try to eat them just as greens, maybe with rice. They're a side, and if they are the main course they're always going to fall short. Too sour. The greens in Africa are just totally different.
I got there in a pretty good mood - hell, it's vacation and tomorrow at this time I'll be in Oregon with my two favorite 7- and 2-year-olds.
It started pretty well - a matronly Black woman customer told me how to work the card machines, and there was a saying about Allah hanging above the doorway, and a Mexican (ok, Latino) man was very friendly in the parking lot. All good.
And then a family came in and I thought, as I often have, how cute "paw-paw" is for grandpa. I'm over it. If I hear one more, "You want me to wup you? I'm telling paw-paw and he wup yur ass! He get his belt!" well, I'm not sure how I could be as obnoxious as that in return. Maybe I'd talk about Wal-Mart evils. The thing is that these people, the ones who threaten violence against their kids, try to do it in lieu of actual parenting. Why was this 2-year-old acting up? Because he was BORED and ignored. Be a parent already and get off your lazy ass and interact with your child. Not to the point that he's the center of the universe, but so he feels acknowledged. Until you do, he's going to keep ramming strangers with laundry baskets and sticking foreign objects into brand-new machines. But you don't really care, do you?
And then there was junk in most of the dryers (trash, candy, etc. that would melt), and the TV was blaring ESPN (I don't care!) and the parking was so tight I couldn't get out. (The next time somebody gestures there's a mile between me and their car, I'll stop being so cautious and hit them. People with small cars cannot tell me how to drive my behemoth.)
It was a new laundromat, and I don't know if I'll return. I can't study there, or in any that I know, and that's what I need. Well, there is a laundromat at the university right by the law school, but I don't know how to get my laundry there because it's in a dormitory and no parking nearby. But I might try to figure that out, because it would be worth it to go to the library during the spin cycle.
It's just annoying and unnecessary - I should have a washer and dryer. Not in this apartment, it's too tiny, but I should be able to find housing elsewhere that meets this and the off-street parking need. But there's nothing unless I want to pay more than $1000 for a small one-bedroom far from school. That's messed up. Maybe at the end of the year when leases run out and people are moving away something good will open up. This sucks.
Of course, I'm not having to wash my clothes by hand and hang them outside, like most of the world, so I need to shut the heck up.
It's just that there's always this gap - or tension in me. I like a world full of colorful characters and interesting places, but I also want everything clean and sterilized and I want people to stop shooting each other. Maybe it's just weighing on me since I got the major lecture from Kim about how I have to be safe - or maybe that in the 5 days of newspaper I read, there were at least 10 murders (I stopped counting then). 4 people in 3 hours. And yeah, it's mostly about drugs, but I don't care. I'm fed up with the death here.
Yes, Tami, I know, you warned me.
But why can't America have a city that is full of interesting culture and music (I'm listening to Rebirth Brass Band right now to perk me back up) that isn't a dangerous pothole? Why do we keep having to choose between tract houses and safety? Why can't I have restaurants and shops that are local and STILL be able to walk home after dark from school?
Maybe the violence and culture aren't related, but I can't think of any place that is interesting in this country that isn't riddled with such problems. Memphis comes to mind.
I don't want to live in sterile suburbia, I've said often, but don't I? I'm running out of patience for inner-city problems that surround me. And we all know, I'm not a patient woman. New Orleans is now smaller than Riverside but has so much more to offer because there's no LA nearby to rely upon. But even LA doesn't have to offer what New Orleans does. And I love all the people I actually know from here. I love that the soul food woman said, "Hi, baby!" and was happy to see me like we were old friends when I walked up to the window. I love that when I play my "fake or real" game, it's usually the latter - not so in SoCal.
It's a rough time for the city, there's no doubt. People's patience it stretched beyond limits. But I love how I can chat it up with former neighbors Bill and Charlotte and our conversation is not always about how they're so screwed because they can't get into their house yet. People here suck it up and find the sunny side, and their hospitality is genuine.
So who are these people who are killing so much?
Hm. I think I need to find some volunteering in the system so I can find out. My students made sense of things for me before, and I need something like that here. It just doesn't make sense to me.
Maybe it isn't about the people, but about the system. Which is definitely major fucked up here. Hm.
I need to volunteer next term. Period. I need to stop working in education and I need to get into law. I need those experiences. Which means Dayton ain't coming anytime soon, if ever. He was pretty upset about my notice that I don't have time to deal with him now - I'm too busy, and I need to start putting myself first now. Tough. Suck it up.
OK, time for one more round of "Do Whatcha Wanna" while putting away the laundry and packing, and then some more studying. I'm up at 4:00 a.m. tomorrow to catch my flight to Oregon so it'll be an early night.
Oh, today I learned one of my classmates actually took all these classes last year but walked out on the exams. Last year for the people who stuck it out with First Choice, they came in January and had a full year's worth of classes with an extended 6-day schedule. So, she took the classes but apparently cracked at the finals and walked out. She still paid for all of last year but then has to redo. I haven't talked to her about it, but I want details. I like her, she's nice. In the same category as the young woman who shouted at me when I was trying to find my ID to get through the short-cut gate, "Don't worry Ms. [Insert My Last Name Here]! I have it!" and then bustled over to help me out. That's just nice, especially since we've never met and just know each other's last names from class. I have liked every person from West Virginia I have ever met. And it's a small state, so maybe nobody will ruin that concept I have.
I just wish that - walking out - weren't in my realm of possibility now. Sigh. The test questions are freaking hard, and it totally sucks when EVERYTHING rests on like two questions. What if I read something wrong? Or ... never mind, I'm not going to psych myself out here.
mind over matter?
The student health center doctor (the one who refers to when she started working there as "when I still gave a shit") called. I didn't answer because I sort-of recognized the number and thought it was psycho ex-landlord.
She said my recent (last week) thyroid tests came back in and everything was in normal range.
OK, first, I don't really believe it, so I'm going now to pick them up to see for myself.
But second, it's possible. I used to have high cholesterol and now I don't because I decided not to. I changed my diet for a while and got it really far down, but my diet has always been pretty healthy overall and now I just eat more almonds and oatmeal. And it's stayed down for six years in the totally healthy range.
And when they pulled blood last week, I wasn't feeling any of that craziness I attributed to thyroid action earlier. My brain hasn't been spinning out of control, that sort of thing. Maybe the Oregon endocrinologist (and I) were right - that it cycles between hyper and hypo and normal, and it's just about when it's caught and tested.
Anyway, this could be good news. The endocrinologist here will still want to test me, and that's ok. But if it is Graves disease, it can go into remission. And I will do my best to stuff it there.
She said my recent (last week) thyroid tests came back in and everything was in normal range.
OK, first, I don't really believe it, so I'm going now to pick them up to see for myself.
But second, it's possible. I used to have high cholesterol and now I don't because I decided not to. I changed my diet for a while and got it really far down, but my diet has always been pretty healthy overall and now I just eat more almonds and oatmeal. And it's stayed down for six years in the totally healthy range.
And when they pulled blood last week, I wasn't feeling any of that craziness I attributed to thyroid action earlier. My brain hasn't been spinning out of control, that sort of thing. Maybe the Oregon endocrinologist (and I) were right - that it cycles between hyper and hypo and normal, and it's just about when it's caught and tested.
Anyway, this could be good news. The endocrinologist here will still want to test me, and that's ok. But if it is Graves disease, it can go into remission. And I will do my best to stuff it there.
Monday, November 20, 2006
sane
Did I sound perky in the last post? Good. K and I just made a pact that we won't weird out. All these 3Ls and lawyers are warning us how weird people get during finals, so I swear not to be that kind of person. I won't be negative and back bitey (though, I did have to note to Son of Deepo Provero Inventor how much one of our classmates, who was wearing a bandana as a sweatband, looked like he should be from "Fame").
But I will note that I woke up this morning with a shooting pain in my side that isn't going away. It's too side and back to be appendicitis, which is good news. I hope it's just sore from sitting still too much this weekend.
Accompanying the pain is a mild delirium. Walking back to school this afternoon, I saw a car with a classmate's alma mater on it and I thought, "Oh, maybe that's her car."
Um, she's blind. Chances of her driving are pretty slim. I got that far in my analysis. But then I thought, "Well, maybe Big Black Guide Dog somehow helps her."
OK, in my semi-conscious state, I'm having blind women and their dogs driving all over the city.
That trumps K dreaming about the guy we wrote the memo about.
I think spending three hours in my 50 degree apartment today led me there, so I did just turn on the heat. Cold wins. This round.
But I will note that I woke up this morning with a shooting pain in my side that isn't going away. It's too side and back to be appendicitis, which is good news. I hope it's just sore from sitting still too much this weekend.
Accompanying the pain is a mild delirium. Walking back to school this afternoon, I saw a car with a classmate's alma mater on it and I thought, "Oh, maybe that's her car."
Um, she's blind. Chances of her driving are pretty slim. I got that far in my analysis. But then I thought, "Well, maybe Big Black Guide Dog somehow helps her."
OK, in my semi-conscious state, I'm having blind women and their dogs driving all over the city.
That trumps K dreaming about the guy we wrote the memo about.
I think spending three hours in my 50 degree apartment today led me there, so I did just turn on the heat. Cold wins. This round.
carb loading
No marathon here - although they do say law school is a marathon, not a sprint. And I've been trained. And I know ALL about carb loading.
Got my memo in - yay!
I leave Wednesday very early - yay!
Almost done with CivPro outline and met with prof to clear up some questions - yay!
Only one more day of class this week - yay!
Um ... I'm running out of things to be excited about.
Well, I'm out of food except pita and carrots, so I'm off to some pizza at Whole Foods and then because my blood sugar is so low a cookie as well. Then I'll come back and huddle in my 50 degree apartment (oh, if only I were exaggerating - I guess I should turn on the heat already) and do a ton more work.
I read somewhere that cold weather burns more calories. Though, I do have to say that I was at my highest weight while in Alaska - and that with no bakeries to run to or pizza or any of that. My friends there, too. And we exercised a ton - always out skiing and snowshoeing and walking around, and our diets revolved around salmon and caribou (the leanest meat). I guess our metabolism slows down in the cold - like bears. I do miss my salmon curry there, and I used to make a caribou stew to die for. (Well, I guess the caribou did die for it.)
And now Dayton texted me.
I have no clarity about that. Because I don't have the time or energy to devote to it - I need to get through law school now. I'm pretty dismayed with myself in CivPro - things just aren't clicking. The test is two weeks from today, and I'm going to focus on it pretty hard-core until then. Hopefully it clicks. But I do need to also prep the other classes. But work is tapering out now and I've done all the reading for next week, just need to brief. So, there's hope. I'm not yet despondent. And I have two supplemental books that I'm going to read while traveling this weekend that hopefully help a lot. I will maximize my airport time! I'll be traveling about 20 hours total this weekend to spend about 40 hours with friends. And this is shocking to whom?
OK, pizza. My brain craves carbs during stressful and intense learning times. And who's to argue with my brain?
Got my memo in - yay!
I leave Wednesday very early - yay!
Almost done with CivPro outline and met with prof to clear up some questions - yay!
Only one more day of class this week - yay!
Um ... I'm running out of things to be excited about.
Well, I'm out of food except pita and carrots, so I'm off to some pizza at Whole Foods and then because my blood sugar is so low a cookie as well. Then I'll come back and huddle in my 50 degree apartment (oh, if only I were exaggerating - I guess I should turn on the heat already) and do a ton more work.
I read somewhere that cold weather burns more calories. Though, I do have to say that I was at my highest weight while in Alaska - and that with no bakeries to run to or pizza or any of that. My friends there, too. And we exercised a ton - always out skiing and snowshoeing and walking around, and our diets revolved around salmon and caribou (the leanest meat). I guess our metabolism slows down in the cold - like bears. I do miss my salmon curry there, and I used to make a caribou stew to die for. (Well, I guess the caribou did die for it.)
And now Dayton texted me.
I have no clarity about that. Because I don't have the time or energy to devote to it - I need to get through law school now. I'm pretty dismayed with myself in CivPro - things just aren't clicking. The test is two weeks from today, and I'm going to focus on it pretty hard-core until then. Hopefully it clicks. But I do need to also prep the other classes. But work is tapering out now and I've done all the reading for next week, just need to brief. So, there's hope. I'm not yet despondent. And I have two supplemental books that I'm going to read while traveling this weekend that hopefully help a lot. I will maximize my airport time! I'll be traveling about 20 hours total this weekend to spend about 40 hours with friends. And this is shocking to whom?
OK, pizza. My brain craves carbs during stressful and intense learning times. And who's to argue with my brain?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
my driver's license is wrong
I've shrunk an entire inch since middle school. I'm officially 5'3". I'm now shorter than the average American woman.
Maybe it's spinal compression and yoga would help.
Yeah, in all my spare time I'll pick up a few classes.
Susan used to have this inversion table, and I tried it once and it hurt so much I immediately uprighted. If my spine's compressed, that's the way it wants to be.
Now I'm going back through my memo - again - and proofreading and adding a ton of commas. My instructor is comma-crazy. Too much so. I like commas as much as the next person, or even more, but she's obsessed. She actually took off a point from my last memo for the section of "typos or grammatical errors." I looked back over - there were neither of those. Not a single one. The only thing I can figure out is that she thinks there's a dearth of commas.
Whatever.
And now I only need to hack out five more lines to get it short enough.
Maybe it's spinal compression and yoga would help.
Yeah, in all my spare time I'll pick up a few classes.
Susan used to have this inversion table, and I tried it once and it hurt so much I immediately uprighted. If my spine's compressed, that's the way it wants to be.
Now I'm going back through my memo - again - and proofreading and adding a ton of commas. My instructor is comma-crazy. Too much so. I like commas as much as the next person, or even more, but she's obsessed. She actually took off a point from my last memo for the section of "typos or grammatical errors." I looked back over - there were neither of those. Not a single one. The only thing I can figure out is that she thinks there's a dearth of commas.
Whatever.
And now I only need to hack out five more lines to get it short enough.
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