freedom greeting

Well, it wasn't full freedom greeting - in terms of Holt-labeled nakedness - but I look like hell. I look like a woman who plans to sit on her couch and research all day - in the most comfortable clothes I could find. Not the most attractive. Old ratty mismatched clothes, no bra - we middle-aged women know how to look not our best.

And there was the hot Honduran handyman at the door.

I am so not impressing him.

I couldn't even open the door. Seriously. I thought the deadbolt wasn't shut. I argued with the door and lost for several moments.

And there he was.

Sigh.

He came just to tell me he didn't bring the rake that I asked for. But I dragged him in and asked him several door questions. (These are questions about doors. Mine in particular. He agrees I need a new front door, and he's working on fixing my backdoor.)

But he flusters me more than a little, and being home alone most of the day makes me pretty non-verbal - the sound of my voice is startling to me when I don't hear it for awhile (I talked to neighbor and kids, but not much today). I forget words and correct syntax. This used to worry me about myself, but now I've just learned to accept it.

Anyway, he's coming back. I put a bra on and tied the drawstring on my shorts, but any other changes will be way too obvious. Hmmm ... could I get my eyebrows waxed in the next 15 minutes? (Clearly yesterday's Wax Girl got under my skin.)

Though, maybe obvious wouldn't be horrible. It's just not my style.

Anyway, I think he just finds me friendly and isn't attracted to me, and he's leaving permanently in a couple weeks anyway.

But he flusters me.

And this is not the worst feeling for me to have now.

************
[later update - just a crush rant]
He tells me that the tame version of the nickname he calls me is the Energizer Bunny. hmmmm ....

Sigh.

I think it's his skin tone that gets me all hot and bothered. I was looking at him wondering, as I held the ladder for him, and it's that. And his ass. And he makes me laugh.

It's just a harmless crush and it's fun to chat him up. Especially when he tells me things about me that he likes. And things I said before. He really listens to me and remembers what I say - and there's something really, really charming about that.

This is the third day in a row he's come here, but the first time I've been here, and he's coming back tomorrow and asked if I'd be here. I have other things to do besides hold his flashlight in my bedroom. I don't want to be that girl who waits around like that. He's just a guy who works and is being polite to me to pass the time. He could ask me out if he wanted to - he knows I enjoy talking to him and the worst thing I could say is no. [Yes, I have to remind myself of these things ... instead of changing my plans so that I can spend time chatting with him.] [I'm really out of things to ask him to do ... I can't think of single thing more to ask him to do ... but he inspired me to assemble a cupboard I've been putting off for a month - and he even did a little approval examination. He's odd in a Virgo man way, and his facial hair needs a serious change, and he's far too unworried about the war in Iraq - but he's a perfect crush for right now. He's my McDreamy, killing my wasps and realigning my doors. No, that's not a euphemism. Unfortunately. Because I would so do him. I think. Um ... if I didn't have to get naked in front of him - he's like really hot and in super good shape.] {Um... time to go exercise now.}