the things people say

Funniest thing said today, by Tiffany, when I told her I was a little worried that if my "Cancun" travel partner and I were both drinking heavily and sleeping in the same room, that what might seem like a great idea while in a drunken stupor would seem horrible the next day. She advised that I take cleaning supplies with me and attack the hotel bathrooms rather than doing anything really stupid.

Ah, cleaning supplies for a sexually frustrated Virgo? She's genius.

Oddest thing? The Hot Honduran called asking if he can come early. An hour early. That doesn't fit into the plan, and why would he do that? Is he doing what I do when visiting, blocking out two hour blocks? He is leaving the country in a couple days so could be quite busy - is he planning to spend 6:30-8:30 with me and then 8:30-10:30 with somebody else, and then the night with somebody else? That sounds like me, and something I would deserve. He called to be chatty and I was so not in the mood. Telling me about his day, and I waited for a break before I was like, "Dude! I am totally freaked out about a cockroach IN MY BED! Couldn't you at least acknowledge that?" "Well, there's nothing to be freaked out about-" "IN MY BED! IN MY FUCKING BED! Can't you just acknowledge that I am freaked out?" "Well-" "Never mind. We'll talk later. I have to go grab Carolyn to get a potato masher." So, he has warning how I am today.

Stupidest thing? No, it's not that I burn every single damn thing that I cook, including the almonds (that Ahmed gave me a few days ago) I was just attempting to brown to put in with the beans. (I'm using REAL BUTTER for everything. It's because I talked to Amy, and her butter usage is legendary and contagious.) No, it was when I was at the grocery store and made it about two aisles with somebody else's cart. "Excuse me, excuse me," I heard behind me. "Me or them?" We got it all straightened out, and then she had to chase me down to give me back the potatoes I'd put in her cart. Oy vey. She was unamused.

Seriously, this cutting calorie thing doesn't seem to be working for me. It just makes me, er, crazier than normal. I'm a total menace on the roads and in the grocery aisles, apparently. Maybe it's not that, but it does feel like a lack of protein - so I'll need to start amping up the protein consumption.

OK, back to slave over a hot stove rather than be leisurely because HIS schedule changed. Of course this also means that he'll probably be coming straight from tango, so looking sharp and sexually charged. I better go wash that burned pan and start again.