Parental Advisory

OK, ROMANTIC DINNERS. Anyone? Anyone? What do I serve?

How did I know that my message to Hot Honduran (asking if he wanted to come over to dinner Saturday evening) would be answered in the affirmative? Because seriously, what single man turns down FOOD prepared by someone in my particular state of ... I hate the word horniness, but it applies here oh too well. And he knows my state.

Right now he's only a mile away from me, calling as soon as he got back to town, and I said, "You know what, my mind's on other things. Could you call me tomorrow?" That my mind is on cleaning my apartment, he doesn't need to know that's more important than chatting with him. [I opened the door to dump the filthy floor wash water in the backyard, and huge cockroaches began to swarm me. Sigh. I'm a prisoner in my own house. Seriously - is it even possible to get rid of outside cockroaches so they go live somewhere else?]

He likes meat. I knew that. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK MEAT. Seriously, I'm retarded about it. No chance I can do that.

The one thing he said he doesn't like? Spinach.

Spinach rivals only zucchini and sweet potatoes as being my FAVORITE FOOD. Last time I remember fretting about cooking a meal for a man (K2, for anybody keeping track), I made spinach lasagna and spinach salad. Seriously. I'm not joking. It's sort of my standby semi-romantic meal. I make a great spinach salad. I am thwarted.

We are so completely ill-suited for each other. In SO MANY WAYS. Yes, I know this. I know it well. I don't want a real relationship with him - I just want him Saturday night. He will hopefully quench my thirst, so to speak, and I will be done with him then - just in time for him to leave.

What I don't like? How my heartrate accelerated when I saw his phone number. (I deleted him the other day, but maybe I should reinput him.)

I just want to have a good time and feel good about myself and move forward with getting over shit. No entanglements, no drama, no complications. Just fun. I want to cook a nice dinner and enjoy his company, because we do have a good time together.

Hm. Meatloaf? I could make garlic mashed potatoes (YUM! I never allow myself potatoes because of their glycemic load) and bake sweet potatoes as well (there - getting in one of my favorites) and serve with a salad and maybe asparagus or broccoli or green beans or another steamed vegetable. That may be overkill with vegetables, but that's pretty much all I eat now that I'm feeling better. And then angel food cake (which I won't make from scratch because it's way too expensive to buy everything I'd need) with berries and whipped cream. In a can. I would usually always whip it up myself, but I'm kinda hoping the can gives him ideas.

Verdict? Anybody? Will that work?

AND WHAT THE HELL DO I WEAR? Joan isn't here to help! Where's The Committee when I need them?