balance

I go to class. Then I go to another class. Then I go to a computer training for school.

But then it gets interesting. I go to French class just for fun (it's way too easy, but it's good too to relearn this stuff that I learned 25 years ago and don't remember quite right and use slightly wrong).

And then I go to a native plants talk. It was way interesting, and I was surprised to see SO many people there (well over 100). It was organized by local Audubon society, given by a retired prof from the boondocks of Louisiana.

I love this place. People are so real here, and now I see that they have the interests I have, too. Native Plants Society? Birdwatching? I'm all over that like the cheap suit I have to wear Friday.

But each time that I went to do something not law school, I could see my classmates look at me like I'm crazy. They're up there studying 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. And I'm lucky to put in a couple hours a day of study time a couple days a week. Seriously, I am SUCH a slacker it's scary.

And I don't know why exactly. Is it that I have too many other interests that take my attention because I seek balance? Is it that I don't have the stamina to stay focused on the task at hand? Is it that it's not that interesting? Is it that I have a bad attitude since I got a couple B's?

I don't know. And I don't know if I can pull it together for the next 8 weeks and study hardcore. I don't think I even know how to do it. Like now - I just talked on the phone to Susan who mailed me warm gear for my weekend camping trip and now I'm blogging and then I'm going to go to bed because I'm tired.

The A students are still in the library, still going strong.

Chris Classmate says, "You'll live a long time." I just don't feel the stress they do. Sure, I'd love to be in the top 5% and get out of law school with a job that pays $160,000. But I don't want the life that accompanies it - not now and not then. Then I'll have interests still, and I'll be even more protective of my time because I won't have the flexibility to do things during the workday except work. Boring. And I'll have a family to deal with. When it gets to 4:00, I'll want to be helping them with homework and starting dinner, not litigating.

And there are jobs like that, where I can balance my interests. They just don't pay anywhere near 160K.

So, I may be in debt a whole lot longer than I'd like to be, but that doesn't stress me out either. Nothing does. I can't feel the panic that I need to be a stellar student.

I just want to have a good time, relax, take it easy.

And for ME to say that - it's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, NOLA style.

OH, and I went to the computer training and she'd ordered pizza - and they were all pepperoni. Excuse me? Vegetarians can pick off the meat, but at least a couple of my classmates are Muslim. So I just emailed the trainer that. What was she thinking?

And what I've realized is that pizza really does make me hungry more - it doesn't satisfy me unless I eat like four pieces. So, that's a food I need to put on the "off" list. It just tastes so damn good. But I don't like that sensation of being hungry still/again.

Best news of the day: my REI dividend came to Michele's house. Woo!

Gear? I can get WAY more excited about that than any stinkin suit or case.