conspiracy

I psyched myself up for Fat Tuesday, thinking I'd have a somewhat sinful dinner and luscious dessert to mark time before Lent.

Whole Foods was closed. And the burger place near here with the good shakes. EVERYTHING IS CLOSED, even the gas stations I drove past. The only restaurant I could find was Pyramids, but hummus and falafel just doesn't satisfy the Fat Tuesday craving.

I drove around pathetically, begging the Mardi Gras spirits for a last little bit of Fat Tuesday for me before 46 days of Lent.

Circle K and a chocolate bar was all I could find.

Now I know.

This is also the ONLY day out of the entire year that Bourbon Street bars shut down. At midnight tonight the police will come through shouting, "It's midnight and Mardi Gras is over! Go home!"

And then a few hours later, the bars with bottomless girls will reopen (and the others with more clothing as well), and business as usual will resume.

Tomorrow there will be booze galore, and pizza and burgers and pecan pie. But not for me.

Now I know to stock up on Lundi Gras for a last-bash Fat Effort.

I should have gotten two chocolate bars. But the line was really long and I was so mesmerized by the dred loced clerk who was double-checking (he had two lines going simultaneously) while singing along, every word, to the Fugees.

I've never been good at denial, but I will try my best this Lenten season. Why? No good reason.