deceitful appearances

I just went to campus to pick up my outline for the appellate brief we're working on in Legal Research and Writing.

On the one hand I was annoyed to have to go in on Saturday morning. She wouldn't give it to me yesterday when I stopped by her office on my way out to the doctor (she wasn't finished with the class's). On the other, we turned them in this week, so I do really appreciate her efforts in getting 60 outlines commented-upon and returned to us before we embark on our first draft efforts which are due next week. In four days.

Which I have not started, but my apartment is darn clean and I just dropped off newspapers to recycle (probably about 3 months worth), picked up papers at school, went to grocery store and got a kingcake mix to mail to Gail when I get my next amazon order to send out. I finished my federal taxes and printed out the really confusing directions to my nonresident California ones and am waiting for my FAFSA pin. I cleaned all windows/mirrors and vacuumed, and did the dishes and scrubbed down the countertops (which, as Ahmed and Tami know, was a very short task). I swept the front steps and organized my closet and old binders. I've started a list of things I'll ask somebody to get me at Trader Joe's. I chatted with my neighbor who was worried because he hadn't seen me but has heard me coughing for weeks.

I blew off volunteering at the library and at the Latino legal clinic. They're there now and I hope all is going well. In five hours I pick up the Canadian stranger at the airport and kill a few hours on that. We'll probably go to Port of Call for its very famous burgers.

Because now it starts - when I plant myself on the couch and type like there's no tomorrow. I made another cup of coffee, have some Pepperidge Farm milanos by my side, and I dig in to a stack of cases as tall as Selma (ok, I know she's not very tall, but that's still a lot of cases!). I've been missing Selma very much - and I worry a little that the Barkus Krewe tomorrow will make that even stronger. I hear dogs don't just march in and ride on floats in the parade, they also go as spectators for all the biscuits and such that are thrown off the floats. Selma's not nearly as proud as she could be - she likes to the be the queen, but since she wasn't really a stray she could never be, and she'd be perfectly happy to sit alongside the street watching dogs in masks walk past while she catches tossed bones.

ANYWAY, there weren't many comments on my outline. Mostly just "You seem to be in good shape. See me with any questions."

I spent three hours on that outline, the day it was due. My classmates spoke of days and days spent on it, and I worry that I'm so far behind.

I think my appearance isn't just deceiving, but flat-out deceitful. there's no way I'm in good shape.

I would love an A in Legal Research and Writing, but I gave up that dream long ago. Good shape? Head barely above water.